5个方法帮你改变犹豫不决的性格
1. Test them against your values.
So many times we have to make decisions without a framework and no way to judge between two choices. When faced with a tricky decision it’s often a good idea to line up your choices and ask “Which one of the most honours the things that mean the most to me?〞
The decision that’s most in line with the things that mean the most to you – your core values – will be the best decision for you. That might not be the simplest or most practical, but becau it fi ts with who you are and what’s most important to you it will always be the best decision for you.
1.用自己的价值观来评定
很屡次我们在两个选择之间彷徨，没有一个固定的构架或判断的方法来拿定主意。当我们面临一个需要机敏判断的决定时，通常我们会有一个好主意那就是把所有的选择按重要与否排成一条线，然后问一下自己“这些选择中哪一个让我觉得最值？〞你所做的决定是这条选择链里对你来说最重要的----你的核心
价值观------将会是你最好的选择。这也许不是最简单的或者最现实的，但确实最适宜你的。对你来说最重要的就是最好的选择。
2. Trust your gut.
When I was growing up I ud to love rainy Sunday afternoons watching Columbo, especially the bit at the end where he’d sidle up to the Bad Guy, say “Just one more thing〞and then proceed to blow apart the bad guys alibi. Just brilliant.
What Columbo had bundles of was a great trust in his intuition. In every episode, from the very moment he first meets the bad guy, he knows ‘whodunnit’ – and he always trusts that. So look at w hat your intuition tells you is the ‘right’ decision for you.Forget about all the “What if’s〞and the myriad, tiny details – what is your gut telling you? Listen to your intuition, it knows what it’s talking about.
2.相信自己的直觉
在渐渐长大的岁月中我喜欢在下着雨的星期天的下午观看?神探哥伦布?，特别是放到最后他悄悄的走近坏人然后抓住他们说“还有一件事情〞然后把犯罪者无力的辩白驳得体无完肤并道出他们的罪状。他看起来是那样充满智慧。他总是对他的直觉坚信不疑。在每一个案子中，最初见到犯罪者时直觉告诉他“就是这个人〞-----而他总是坚信不疑。
那么看一下你的直觉告诉你哪个选择是“正确〞的吧。忘掉那些“假设这样将会怎样〞和无数的微小的细节-----你最本质的内心告诉你什么了？相信你的直觉，他跟你一样理解整件事情。
3. It just doesn’t matter.
My decision between breakfast cereals wasn’t a biggie.Whichever one I cho, there were never going to be any huge conquences and the ripples from that decision wouldn’t have been felt much further than the end of my spoon. Sometimes it just doesn’t mat ter which way you go.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in cond guessing yourlf, going round in circles and
over-complicating things, when – if you get right down to it –it just doesn’t matter. Going round in circles is only going to make you dizzy, so stop it. Ask yourlf this question – if your future happiness wasn’t dependent on your decision (and it isn’t, by the way), which way would you go?
3.不要过于纠结
我关于早餐吃什么谷类的决定没什么大不了的，无论我选择吃哪一种，都不会产生重大的影响，而且伴随这种决定而来的任何感觉在我最后一勺吃完前早已烟消云散。有时候，选哪一种都没有关系。
人们很容易陷入为自己的第二念而动摇中，不断的循环而重复他们的考虑，让事情复杂化，特别是当----你必需要做的时候----没有关系放手做吧。陷入循环的考虑只会让你头晕，所以不如立即停顿。问你自己一个问题-----假设你的幸福以前不会〔如今或者将来也不会〕取决于这个决定，你会如何选择
4. Have enough information.
Go and get the facts before you make a complex decision. By all means weigh up the pro’s and con’s so that you can get an understanding of what’s behind a choice.But be careful –
there’s a huge difference between knowing enough to make a choice, and knowing everything to make a choice.
When you feel yourlf pursuing every fact or every piece of information before you make a decision, stop yourlf. Ask “What do I really need to know to make this decision?〞and focus your efforts on getting the best information relatively quickly, rather than pursuing all of the information you could get your hands on given a longer period of time.
4.尽可能多地搜集信息
在你需要做一个复杂的决定前先去搜集足够的数据。务必在所有支持和反对的两面加以权衡，使你能
明晰地理解选择背后的分量。但是请小心，对某事足够理解而做出决定和对某事完全理解而做出决定，两者具有很大的不同。
当你感觉你在试图寻找每一点事实或逐一排查信息来作出你的选择时，请暂停。问一下自己“要作出这个选择我真正需要知道的是什么？〞相对于逐一地搜寻所有的信息，迅速且集中地找一些相对而言比较重要的数据将会省下很多时间。
5. Respect your doubts.
We all naturally shy away from change, and we’ve developed a whole bunch of tricks that make it easy for us to avoid making decisions and stay exactly where we are. That part of you is often called the “Gremlin〞, a nd it’s the part of you that would rather avoid making decisions altogether rather than run the risk of making a bad one or screwing up.
Your Gremlin is not the same thing as having doubts, which are valid concerns about a possible cour of action, or reasonable concerns about what might be in store. Your doubts can help you prepare for change and get ready for what could happen.
Your Gremlin is adept at feeding on your doubts and using them to get you to stay put, so knowing th
e difference between your Gr emlin and your valid doubts helps you clarify what’s real and what’s imagined, what’s relevant and what’s irrelevant.
5.尊重自己的疑心
当面对改变的时候我们都会本能的逃避，我们会找一堆谎话来欺骗自己做出决定，继续留在原地不动。那部分自己经常被称作“胆小鬼〞，他会让我们宁可不做决定也不要冒风险去做一个坏的的，糟糕的选择。这个胆小鬼跟疑虑不一样，疑虑是对行动中可能发生的事情或者潜藏事物的合理担忧。疑虑可以帮助你为潜在的变化做好准备。
你头脑中的胆小鬼擅长以疑虑为食让你保持原地停滞不前，所以分清楚胆小鬼和合理的疑虑的不同将帮助你区分事实与幻象，相关的和不相干的因素。
