双语视频关于幸福的TED演讲（⾼清视频+中英⽂稿）
什么样的⼈⽣才是美好的⼈⽣？
什么样的⽣活能给你带来持久的幸福感？
答案不是⾦钱，也不是名誉，
良好的关系让我们更快乐，更健康。
中英双语⽂稿
What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best lf, where would you put your time and your energy? There are lots of answers out there. We are bombarded with images, what’s most important in life. The media are filled with stories of people who are rich and famous and building empires at work. And we believe tho stories. There’s a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were. And over 80% said that the major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50% of tho same young adults said another major life goal was to become famous.
⽣命进程中，是什么让我们保持健康和幸福？如果你现在开始着⼿规划未来最好的⼈⽣，你会把时间和精⼒花在哪⾥？回答有很多种，我们已经被⽆以计数的有关⽣活中最重要事物的图景轰炸了。媒体上充斥着那些富有、⾼声望、建⽴起⾃⼰事业帝国的成功⼈⼠故事。并且我们对这些故事坚信不疑。有个最新的调查，询问1980-2000年⽣的年轻⼈，他们最重要的⼈⽣⽬标有哪些。超过80%的⼈说，他们主要的⽣活⽬标是要变富有。这群年轻⼈中，还有50%说他们另⼀个主要⽣活⽬标是成名。
And we are constantly told to lean into work, and to push harder, and achieve more. We are given the impression that the are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. But is that true? Is that really what keeps people happy as they go through life?
我们总是被告诫要投⼊⼯作，努⼒奋⽃，完成更多。我们似乎觉得要⽣活得更好，这些就是我们需要追求的。可事实真是这样吗？这些真的是在⼈类⽣命历程中帮助他们保持幸福感的东西吗？
Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how tho choices work out for them,tho pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life, we know from asking people to remember the past. And as we know,hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in our lives. And sometimes memory was downright creative. Mark Twain understood this. He’s quoted as saying, “some of the worst things in my life nev
er happened”.(Laughter) And rearch shows us that we actually remember the past more positively as we get older. And I’m reminded of a bumper sticker that says, ‘it’s never too late to have a happy childhood”. (Laughter)
⼈⼀⽣中所做的选择以及这些选择怎样影响他们，我们⼏乎⽆从得知。我们对于⼈⽣绝⼤多数的理解，是从他⼈的回忆中获得的。我们知道，⼈是不可能有关于病毒的电影
完整清楚的记忆的。我们⽣命中⼤部分发⽣过的事情我们都遗忘了。有时我们记忆形成过程简直充满创造性。马克吐温曾经说过类似的话。他说道，“我⼈⽣中⼀些最悲惨的事情根本就没发⽣过。
”（笑）研究显⽰，随着年龄的增长，我们实际上以⼀种更积极的⽅式在保存我们的记忆。我想起⼀张⼴告上说的：“任何时候开始拥有幸福的童年，都不算晚。”（笑）
But, what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age, to e what really keeps people happy and healthy? We did that.
但要是我们能够观察整个⼈⽣呢？要是我们能从⼈们青少年时期⼀直追踪到⽼年，去观察到底什么才是真正能够帮助⼈们保持幸福、健康的东西呢？我们已经做到了。
The Harvard Studyof Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life, that’s ever been done. For 75 years, we’ve tracked the lives of 724 men. Year after year asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of cour asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fallapart within a decade, becau too many people drop out of the study or funding for the rearch dries up, or the rearchers get distracted or they die and nobody moves the ball further down the field.
for the rearch dries up, or the rearchers get distracted or they die and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through combination of luck and persistence of veral generations of rearchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their nineties. And we are now beginning to study themore than 2000 children of the men. And I’m the 4th director of the study.
哈佛成⼈发展研究可能是⽬前有关成年⼈⽣活研究中历时最长的。75年间，我们追踪了724位男性。年复⼀年，我们询问他们的⼯作、家庭⽣活、他们的健康状况，当然我们在询问过程中并不知道他们的⼈⽣将会怎样。这样的研究极为稀少。⼏乎所有类似的研究都在10年内流产了，原因可能是失访率太⾼，或者没有⾜够的经费⽀撑，或者研究者兴趣点转移或去世以后没有其他⼈接⼿。但是多亏了运⽓以及⼏代研究者的坚持，这项研究成活下来了。在最早的724名男性中，⼤约有60位还在世，并继
续参与这项研究，他们绝⼤多数都已经超过90岁了。现在我们正开始研究他们总数超过2000个的孩⼦们。⽽我是这项研究的第四任领导者。
Since 1938, we’ve tracked the lives of 2 groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They were from, what Tom Brokaw has called, the greatest generation. They all finished college during World War II. And then most went off to rve in the war. And the cond group that we followed was a group of boys from the Boston’s poorest neighborhoods. Boys, who were chon for this study specifically becau they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water. When they entered the study, all of theteenagers were interviewed, they were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then the teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, and one president of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top. And some made that journey in the opposite direction.
从1938年起，我们追踪了2组男性。第⼀组在加⼊研究时还是哈佛⼤学⼤⼆的学⽣。他们属于Tom Brokaw所说的“最伟⼤的⼀代”。他们都在第⼆次世界⼤战期间完成⼤学学业。之后绝⼤多数⼈为战争
⼯作。另外⼀组我们追踪的群体是波⼠顿最贫穷区域的男孩。正是因为他们来⾃于20世纪30年代波⼠顿⿇烦最多、最底层的家庭，才被选⼊我们的研究。多数⼈都住在出租屋⾥，许多甚⾄没有热的或冷的⾃来⽔。当他们⼊选幼儿园教育教学工作总结
研究之后，所有的青少年都接受⾯谈和医学检查。我们去他们家⾥对他们的⽗母进⾏访谈。后来这群青少年长⼤成⼈，进⼊社会各⾏各业。有的成了⼯⼚⼯⼈，成了律师、泥⽡匠、医⽣，有⼀位成为美国总统。有的成了酒精依赖者，⼀些患上精神分裂症。有的从社会底层⼀路爬升到上流社会。⽽⼀些⼈却沿着相反的⽅向⾛过这段⼈⽣旅程。
The founders of this study would never, in their wildest dreams, have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every 2 years, our patient and dedicated rearch staff calls up our men and asked them whether we could nd them yet one more t of questions about their lives. Many of the intercity Boston men ask us, “Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn’t that interesting”. The Harvard men never asked that question. (Laughter) To get the clearest picture of the lives, we don’t j一个月来两次
ust nd them questionnaires. We interviewed them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood. We scanned their brains. We talk to their children. We videotaped them talking with their 痛经吃什么药好
wives about their deepest concerns. And when about a decade ago we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of this study, many of the women said, “you know，it’s about time”. (Laughter)
这项研究的发起者⽆论如何也不可能想到，75年之后我能够站在这⾥，告诉你们这项研究仍然在继续。每两年，我们充满耐⼼和⾟勤的研究⼈员打电话给我们的研究对象，询问是否能够再寄给他们⼀套有关他们⽣活的问卷。波⼠顿城郊的许多研究对象问我们：“你们怎么总是不断地想要研究我？我的⽣活没什么意思啊。”⽽哈佛的毕业⽣从没问过这个问题。（笑）为了得到他们⼈⽣最清晰的画卷，我们不仅仅只是寄给他们问卷。我们在他们的客厅⾥对他们进⾏访谈。我们从他们的医⽣那⾥获取医疗记录。我们获取他们的⾎样，扫描他们的⼤脑。我们和他们的孩⼦们交谈。我们⽤摄像机记录他们和⾃⼰的妻⼦谈论最隐秘的担忧。⼤概⼗年前，我们终于询问他们的妻⼦们，是否愿意作为研究对象加⼊我们的研究。很多⼥⼠都说：“你知道，是时候了。”（笑）
So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from that tens of thousands of pages of information that we’ve generated on the lives. Well the lessons aren’t about wealth or fame or working 关于战争的书
harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier.Period!
那么我们学到了什么？我们从这些⼈⽣活中提取出来的长篇累牍的信息到底教会我们什么？其实，完全⽆关财富、名声或者拼命⼯作。我们从这项长达75年的研究中得到的最清晰的信息是：良好的关系让我们更快乐，更健康。就这样！
We’ve learned 3 big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections arereally good for us and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier. They are physically healthier and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of
They are physically healthier and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People, who are more isolated than they want to be from others, find that they’re less happy, their health declines earlier in mid-life, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is, that at any given time, more than 1 in 5 Americans will report, that they are lonely. And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd, and you can be lonely in a marriage.
对于关系，我们学到了三条。第⼀条是，社会连结真的对我们有益，⽽孤独却有害。事实证明，和家庭、朋友和周围⼈群连结更紧密的⼈更幸福。他们⾝体更健康，他们也⽐连结不甚紧密的⼈活得更长。⽽孤单的体验是有害的。和不孤独的⼈相⽐，那些⽐⾃⼰所希望的样⼦更孤单的⼈觉得⾃⼰更不幸福，他们到中年时健康状况退化地更快，他们的⼤脑功能衰退更早，⽽且他们的寿命更短。令⼈遗憾的是，任何⼀个时刻，每5个美国⼈中就有不只1个说⾃⼰孤独。我们知道，在⼈群中你也可能感到孤独，在婚姻中你也可能感到孤独。
So the 2nd big lesson that we learned is that it’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you are in a committed relationship, but it’s the quality of your clo relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflicts is really bad for our health. High conflicted marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health - perhaps wor than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships, is protective. Once we’ve followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at mid-life, and to e if we can predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn’t. And when we gather together, everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn’t their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people, who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50, were the healthiest at age 80. And good clo relationships em to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women, reported in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their moods stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotionalpain.所以我们学到的第⼆条信息是，起决定作⽤的不是你拥有的朋友的数量，不是你是否在⼀段稳定的亲密关系中，⽽是你的亲密关系的质量。事实证明，处于冲突之中真的对我们的健康有害。举个例⼦，充满冲突⽽没有感情的婚姻，对我们的健康⾮常不利，甚⾄有可能⽐离婚还糟。
⽽⽣活在良好、温暖的关系中是有保护作⽤的。当我们追踪我们的研究对象到他们的80岁之后，我们希望回顾他们的中年⽣活，来看看我们是否能在那时预测谁会享有幸福健康的晚年，谁不会。当我们把所有有关他们50岁的信息都整合起来之后，发现能够预测他们晚年⽣活的不是他们的中年胆固醇⽔平，⽽我们的明天吉他谱
是他们对所在亲密关系的满意程度。50岁时对⾃⼰的亲密关系最满意的⼈，80岁时最健康。⽽良好、亲密的关系似乎能缓冲我们在衰⽼过程中遇到的坎坷。我们⽣活的最幸福的伴侣，⽆论男⼥，在他们80岁之后都说，当他们感到更多躯体疼痛时，他们的⼼情依然快乐。⽽那些处于不幸关系中的⼈，当他们感受到更多躯体疼痛时，这些疼痛被增加的情感痛苦给放⼤了。
And the 3rd big lesson that we learned about relationships on our health is, that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out, that being in a curely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective. And the people who are in a relationship that they really feel that they can count on the other person in times of need, tho people’s memories stay shaper longer. And people in a relationship where they feel they really can’t count on the other one, tho are the people who would experience earlier memory decline. And tho good relationships, they don’t have to be smooth all the time. Some of the octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out. But as long as they felt that they can really count on the other one when they are going out tough, tho arguments didn’t take a toll on their memories. So, t
his message, that good, clo relationships are good for our health and well-being; this is the wisdom that’s as old as the hills. It’s your grandmother’s advice, and your pastor’s.
第三条我们学到的关于关系对我们健康的影响是，良好的关系不仅只是保护我们的⾝体，也能保护我们的⼤脑。研究表明，在80岁之后依然处在对另⼀个⼈安全依恋关系中是有保护性的。在关系中真的感到⾃⼰能在需要时可以依赖另⼀个⼈的⼈们，他们的保持清晰记忆⼒的时间更长。⽽感到⾃⼰在关系中真的⽆法依赖另⼀个⼈的⼈群，他们将更早出现记忆⼒衰退。⽽那些良好的关系，并不⼀定要⼀直保持平顺。⼀些 80-89 岁⽼年夫妇，他们可能⼀天到晚都在吵架。但只要他们感到⾃⼰真的能在困难时刻依赖另⼀个⼈时，他们根本就不会记得那些争吵了。所以我们学到的是，良好、亲密的关系有利于我们的健康和完好状态。这是⽼智慧，是祖母和牧师的忠告。
Why is this so hard to get? For example, with respectful wealth, we know that once your basic material needs are met, wealth doesn’t do anything. If you go from making 75,000 dollars a year to 75 million, we know that your health and your happiness will change very little, if at all. When it comes to fame, the constant media intrusion and a lack of privacy make most famous people significantly less healthy. It certainly doesn’t keep them happier. And as for working harder and harder, there is that truism that nobody on their death bed ever wished that they had spent more time in their office. (Laughter) Why is that so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we’re human.
What we really like is a quick fix - something we can get that will keep our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they are complicated and they are hard work of tending to family and friends, that’s not xy or glamorous. It’s also life-long. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study with the happiest retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men
worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults, really believed that fame and wealth and high achievements were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over the 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best are people who leaned into relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
为什么明⽩这个道理这么难？就拿巨⼤的财富来说，我们知道，⼀旦我们的基本物质需求被满⾜了，财富就帮不上什么忙了。如果你从每年挣75,000美元提⾼到7500万美元，我们知道你的健康和快乐基本不会发⽣变化。⽽⾄于声望，媒体不断地⼊侵和缺乏隐私使得多数名⼈显著地不健康。这显然不会让⼈更快乐。⾄于拼命⼯作，有⼀条真理说，没有⼈在临死前觉得⾃⼰要是花更多时间在办公室就好了。（笑）为什么这些这么难理解，这么容易就被忽视了？是啊，我们是⼈啊。我们真正喜欢的是快速解决⽅案，⼀种我们能得到的，⼜能让我们⽣活得好并且⼀直保持下去的东西。关系错综复杂，照
顾家⼈和朋友是繁重的⼯作，⼀点也不性感也不光芒万丈。⽽这也是终⽣的，绝⽆尽头。在我们的75年研究中拥有最幸福退休⽣活的⼈是那些主动寻找玩伴来替代⼯作伙伴的⼈。正如调查中的年轻⼈⼀样，我们的研究对象中很多⼈在⼀开始还是青年的时候，真的相信声望、财富以及⾼成就是他们想要⽣活得更好就必须追求的。但随着时间的流逝，在这75年间，我们的研究显⽰：发展得最好的⼈是那些把精⼒投⼊关系，尤其是家⼈含然的四字词语
、朋友和周围⼈群的⼈。
So what about you?Let’s say you are 25, or you are 40 or you are 60. What might leaning into relationships even look like? Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen-time with people-time, or lightening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven’t spoken to in years. Becau tho all too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
那么你们呢？假如你们今年25，或者你们40，或者你们60岁。投⼊关系对你们来说是什么样的？可能性可能是⽆限的。也许是简单到拿和屏幕打交道的时间来和⼈打交道，或者通过⼀起做点什么新鲜事，⽐如散步或者约会，或者联系那个多年来不曾说过话的⼈，来点亮⼀段死⽓沉沉的关系。因为对⼀个总把⼩憋扭放⼼⾥的⼈，这些看上去很平常的家庭敌对事件是会造成严重后果的。
I’d like to clo with another quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this,”there isn’t a time, so brief his life, for bickerings, apologies, heart-burnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving. ” But in instant, so to speak, for that, the good life is built with good relationships. And that’s an idea worth spreading. Thank you!
我想⽤马克吐温的另⼀条名⾔来结束。⼀百多年前，当他回顾⾃⼰的⼀⽣时，他写下了，“⽣命如此短暂，我们没有时间争吵、道歉、伤⼼。我们只有时间去爱。”所以说，好的⽣活是建⽴在好的关系上的。⽽这种理念是值得传播的。谢谢⼤家！
