四级阅读 some road
成考英语
In New York City one day, a businesswoman got into a taxi. Becau it was rush hour and she was hurrying for a train, she suggested a route. "I've been a cabby(车夫) for 15 years!" the driver yelled. "You think I don't know the best way to go?"
The woman tried to explain that she hadn't meant to offend him, but the driver kept yelling. She finally realized he was too upt to be reasonable. So she did the unexpected. "You know, you're right," she told him. "It must em dumb for me to assume you don't know the best way through the city. "
Taken aback, the driver flashed his rider a confud look in the rear-view mirror, turned down the street she wanted and got her to the train on time. "He didn't say another word the rest of the ride," she said, "until I got out and paid him. Then he thanked me. "
When you encounter people like this cab driver, there's an irresistible urge to dig in your heels. This can lead to prolonged arguments, soured friendships, lost career opportunities a
nd broken marriages. As a clinical psychiatrist, I've discovered one simple but extremely unlikely principle that can prevent virtually any conflict or other difficult situation from becoming a recipe for disaster.
实习医生格蕾第9季 The key is to put yourlf in the other person's shoes and look for the truth in what that person is saying. Find a way to agree. The result may surpri you.
Sulkers Steve's 14-year-old son, Adam, had been irritable for veral days. When Steve asked why, Adam snapped, "Nothing's wrong! Leave me alone!" and stalked off to his room.
We all know people like this. When there's problem, they may sulk(生闷气) or act angry and refu to talk.
polish So what's the solution? First, Steve needs to ask himlf why Adam won't talk. Maybe the boy is worried about something that happened at school. Or he might be angry at his dad but afraid to bring it up becau Steve gets defensive whenever he is criticized. Stev
e can pursue the possibilities the next time they talk by saying, "I noticed you're upt, and I think it would help to get the problem out in the open. It may be hard becau I haven't always listened very • 58 •
零基础学瑜伽 well. If so, I feel bad becau I love you and don't want to let you down. "
If Adam still refus to talk, Steve can take a different tack: "I'm concerned about what's going on with you, but we can talk things over later, when you're more in the mood. "
palmos This strategy allows both sides to win: Steve doesn't have to compromi on the principle that ultimately the problem needs to be talked out and resolved. Adam saves face by being allowed to withdraw for a while.
gwt>kay parker Noisy critics. Recently, I was counlling a businessman named Frank who lends to be overbearing(专横的) when he's upt. Frank told me that I was too abnt-minded with money and that he shouldn't have to pay at each of our ssions. He wanted to be billed monthly.
I felt annoyed becau it emed Frank always had to have things his way. I explained that I had tried monthly billing, but it hadn't worked becau some patients didn't pay. Frank argued that he had impeccable (无可挑剔的 ) credit and knew much more about credit and billing than I did.
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Suddenly I realized I was missing Frank's point. "You are right," I said. " I'm being defensive. We should focus on the problems in your life and not worry so much about money. "
Frank immediately softened and began talking about what was really bothering him, which were some personal problems. The next time we met, he handed me a check for 20 ssions in advance!fakelove中文意思
There are times, of cour, when people are unreasonably abusive and you may need to just walk away from the situation. But if the problem is one that you want solved, it's important to allow the other person to keep some lf-esteem. There's nearly always a grain of truth in the other person's point of view. If you acknowledge this, he or she will be
less defensive and more likely to listen to you.
Complainers. Brad is a 32-year-old Detroit chiropractor (按摩师) who recently described his frustration with a patient of his: "I ask Mr. Barry, 'How are you doing?' and he dumps out his whole life story-his family problems and his financial difficulties. I give him advice, but he ignores everything I tell him. "明天你是否依然爱我 童安格
Brad needs to recognize that habitual complainers usually don't want advice. They just want someone to listen and understand. So Brad might simply say : "sounds like a rough week, It's no fun to have unpaid bills, people nagging you, and this pain besides. " The complainer will usually run out of gas and stop complaining. The cret is not to give advice. Just agreeing and validating a person's point of view will make that person feel better.
