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Rai your hand if you've ever been asked the question"What do you want to be when yougrow up?"
Now if you had to guess,how old would you say you were when you were first asked thisquestion?You can just hold up fingers.Three.Five.Three.Five.Five.OK.Now,rai yourhand if the question"What do you want to be when you grow up?"has ever caud you anyanxiety.
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Any anxiety at all.
I'm someone who's never been able to answer the question"What do you want to be when yougrow up?"
See,the problem wasn't that I didn't have any interests--it's that I had too many.In high school,I liked English and math and art and I built websites and I played guitar in a punk band calledFrustrated Telephone Operator.Maybe you've heard of us.
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This continued after high school,and at a certain point,I began to notice this pattern inmylf where I would become interested in an area and I would dive in,become all-consumed,and I'd get to be pretty good at whatever it was,and then I would hit this point whereI'd start to get bored.And usually I would try and persist anyway,becau I had already devotedso much time and energy and sometimes money into this field.But eventually this n ofboredom,this feeling of,like,yeah,I got this,this isn't challenging anymore--it would get to betoo much.And I would have to let it go.
But then I would become interested in something el,something totally unrelated,and I woulddive into that,and become all-consumed,and I'd be like,"Yes!I found my thing,"and then Iwould hit this point again where I'd start to get bored.And eventually,I would let it go.But then Iwould discover something new and totally different,and I would dive into that.
This pattern caud me a lot of anxiety,for two reasons.The first was that I wasn't sure how Iwas going to turn any of this into a career.I thought that I would eventually have to pi
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ck onething,deny all of my other passions,and just resign mylf to being bored.The other reason itcaud me so much anxiety was a little bit more personal.I worried that there was somethingwrong with this,and something wrong with me for being unable to stick with anything.I worriedthat I was afraid of commitment,or that I was scattered,or that I was lf-sabotaging,afraid ofmy own success.
If you can relate to my story and to the feelings,I'd like you to ask yourlf a question that Iwish I had asked mylf back then.Ask yourlf where you learned to assign the meaning ofwrong or abnormal to doing many things.I'll tell you where you learned it:you learned it fromthe culture.给幸福一个机会
是的撒We are first asked the question"What do you want to be when you grow up?"when we're aboutfive years old.And the truth is that no one really cares what you say when you're that age.
amongIt's considered an innocuous question,pod to little kids to elicit cute replies,like,"I want to bean astronaut,"or"I want to be a ballerina,"or"I want to be a pirate."Inrt Halloween c
ostumehere.
But this question gets asked of us again and again as we get older in various forms--forinstance,high school students might get asked what major they're going to pick in college.Andat some point,"What do you want to be when you grow up?"goes from being the cute exerciit once was to the thing that keeps us up at night.Why?
See,while this question inspires kids to dream about what they could be,it does not inspirethem to dream about all that they could be.In fact,it does just the opposite,becau whensomeone asks you what you want to be,you can't reply with 20 different things,though well-meaning adults will likely chuckle and be like,"Oh,how cute,but you can't be a violin maker anda psychologist.You have to choo."
This is Dr.Bob Childs--
and he's a luthier and psychotherapist.And this is Amy Ng,a magazine editor turned illustrator,entrepreneur,teacher and creative director.But most kids don't hear about peopl
e like this.Allthey hear is that they're going to have to choo.But it's more than that.The notion of thenarrowly focud life is highly romanticized in our culture.It's this idea of destiny or the one truecalling,the idea that we each have one great thing we are meant to do during our time on thiarth,and you need to figure out what that thing is and devote your life to it.
juniorcollegeBut what if you're someone who isn't wired this way?What if there are a lot of different subjectsthat you're curious about,and many different things you want to do?Well,there is no room forsomeone like you in this framework.And so you might feel alone.You might feel like you don'thave a purpo.And you might feel like there's something wrong with you.There's nothingwrong with you.What you are is a multipotentialite.
A multipotentialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits.It's a mouthful to say.Itmight help if you break it up into three parts:multi,potential,and ite.You can also u one ofthe other terms that connote the same idea,such as polymath,the Renaissanceperson.Actually,during the Renaissance period,it was considered the ideal to
be well-verdin multiple disciplines.Barbara Sher refers to us as"scanners."U whichever term you like,orinvent your own.I have to say I find it sort of fitting that as a community,we cannot agree on asingle identity.
