procrastinator

WeNeedToStayAwareoftheInstantGratificationMonkey

TimUrban

Soincollege,Iwasagovernmentmajor,,whenanormalstudentwritesa

paper,,youknow--

yougetstartedmaybealittleslowly,butyougetenoughdoneinthefirstweekthat,withsomeheavierdayslateron,

everythinggetsdone,thingsstaycivil.

(Laughter)

haveitallreadytogo,butthen,actually,thepaper

wouldcomealong,andthenIwouldkindofdothis.

(Laughter)

Andthatwouldhappeneverysinglepaper.

Butthencamemy90-pageniorthesis,apaperyou'ewforapaperlikethat,my

nnedthingsout,andIdecidedIkindofhadtogo

'dstartofflight,andI'dbumpitupinthemiddlemonths,andthen

attheend,dcoulditbetowalkupthestairs?Nobigdeal,

right?

Butthen,irstfewmonths?Theycameandwent,andIcouldn'

hadanawesomenewrevidplan.

(Laughter)

Andthen--

(Laughter)

Butthenthomiddlemonthsactuallywentby,andIdidn'treallywritewords,ntwo

monthsturnedintoonemonth,dayIwokeupwiththreedaysuntilthedeadline,

stillnothavingwrittenaword,andsoIdidtheonlythingIcould:Iwrote90pagesover72hours,pullingnotonebuttwo

all-nighters--humansarenotsuppodtopulltwoall-nighters--sprintedacrosscampus,doveinslowmotion,andgotit

injustatthedeadline.

eklaterIgetacall,andit'ysay,"IsthisTimUrban?"

AndIsay,"Yeah."Andtheysay,"Weneedtotalkaboutyourthesis."AndIsay,"OK."Andtheysay,"It'sthebestonewe've

everen."

(Laughter)

(Applau)

Thatdidnothappen.

(Laughter)

Itwasavery,verybadthesis.

(Laughter)

Ijustwantedtoenjoythatonemomentwhenallofyouthought,"Thisguyisamazing!"

(Laughter)

No,no,itwasvery,,todayI'upleofyears

ago,viorhasalwaysperplexedthenon-procrastinatorsaroundme,andI

wantedtoexplaintothenon-procrastinatorsoftheworldwhatgoesonintheheadsofprocrastinators,andwhyweare

,Ihadahypothesisthatthebrainsofprocrastinatorswereactuallydifferentthanthebrainsofother

estthis,IfoundanMRIlabthatactuallyletmescanbothmybrainandthebrainofaproven

non-procrastinator,outotakealook

hatifyou'renotatrainedbrainexpert,it'snotthatobvious,butjust

takealook,OK?Sohere'sthebrainofanon-procrastinator.

(Laughter)

Now...here'smybrain.

(Laughter)

ainshaveaRationalDecision-Makerinthem,buttheprocrastinator'sbrainalsohasanInstant

,whatdoesthismeanfortheprocrastinator?Well,itmeanverything'sfineuntilthishappens.

[Thisisaperfecttimetogetsomeworkdone.][Nope!]

SotheRationalDecision-Makerwillmaketherationaldecisiontodosomethingproductive,buttheMonkeydoesn'tlike

thatplan,soheactuallytakesthewheel,andhesays,"Actually,let'sreadtheentireWikipediapageoftheNancyKerrigan/

TonyaHardingscandal,becauIjustrememberedthatthathappened.

(Laughter)

Then--

(Laughter)

Thenwe'regoingtogoovertothefridge,toeifthere'hat,we're

goingtogoonaYouTubespiralthatstartswithvideosofRichardFeynmantalkingaboutmagnetsandendsmuch,much

laterwithuswatchinginterviewswithJustinBieber'smom.

(Laughter)

"Allofthat'sgoingtotakeawhile,sowe'!"

(Sigh)

Now,whatisgoingonhere?TheIns

omemoryofthepast,noknowledgeofthefuture,andheonlycaresabout

twothings:easyandfun.

Now,intheanimalworld,'readogandyouspendyourwholelifedoingnothingotherthaneasyand

funthings,you'reahugesuccess!

(Laughter)

AndtotheMonkey,etokeepwell-slept,well-fedandpropagatingintothe

nextgeneration,,ifyouhaven'tnoticed,nowwe'renotintribaltimes.

We'reinanadvancedcivilization,swhywehaveanotherguyinour

brain,theRationalDecision-Maker,isualizethe

,sometimesitmakesntobedoingthings

thatareeasyandfun,likewhenyou''swhy

there'ertimes,itmakesmuchmorentobedoingthingsthatareharder

andlesspleasant,t'theprocrastinator,that

conflicttendstoendacertainwayeverytime,leavinghimspendingalotoftimeinthisorangezone,aneasyandfunplace

that'ttheDarkPlayground.

(Laughter)

Now,theDarkPl'swhereleisureactivities

youhaveintheDarkPlaygroundisn't

actuallyfun,becauit'scompletelyunearned,andtheairisfilledwithguilt,dread,anxiety,lf-hatred--allofthogood

questionis,inthissituation,withtheMonkeybehindthewheel,howdoesthe

procrastinatorevergethimlfoverheretothisbluezone,alesspleasantplace,butwherereallyimportantthings

happen?

Well,turnsouttheprocrastinatorhasaguardianangel,someonewho'salwayslookingdownonhimandwatchingover

himinhisdarkestmoments--someonecalledthePanicMonster.

(Laughter)

Now,thePanicMonsterisdormantmostofthetime,buthesuddenlywakesupanytimeadeadlinegetstoocloor

there'sdangerofpublicembarrassment,ortantly,he'sthe

,hebecameveryrelevantinmylifeprettyrecently,becauthepeopleofTED

reachedouttomeaboutsixmonthsagoandinvitedmetodoaTEDTalk.

(Laughter)

Now,ofcour,'salwaysbeenadreamofminetohavedoneaTEDTalkinthepast.

(Laughter)

(Applau)Butinthemiddleofallthixcitement,theRationalDecision-Makeremedtohavesomethingelonhis

aying,"Areweclearonwhatwejustaccepted?Dowegetwhat'sgoingtobenowhappeningonedayinthe

future?Weneedtositdownandworkonthisrightnow."AndtheMonkeysaid,"Totallyagree,butlet'sjustopenGoogle

EarthandzoomintothebottomofIndia,like200feetabovetheground,andscrollupfortwoandahalfhourstilweget

tothetopofthecountry,sowecangetabetterfeelforIndia."

(Laughter)

Sothat'swhatwedidthatday.

(Laughter)

Assixmonthsturnedintofourandthentwoandthenone,

openedupthewebsite,sswhowokeup?

(Laughter)

SothePanicMonsterstartslosinghismind,andafewcondslater,thewholesystem'sinmayhem.

(Laughter)

AndtheMonkey--remember,he'sterrifiedofthePanicMonster--boom,he'supthetree!Andfinally,finally,theRational

Decision-MakercantakethewheelandIcanstartworkingonthetalk.

Now,thePanicMonsterexplainsallkindsofprettyinsaneprocrastinatorbehavior,likehowsomeonelikemecouldspend

twoweeksunabletostarttheopeningntenceofapaper,andthenmiraculouslyfindtheunbelievableworkethictostay

ntiresituation,withthethreecharacters--thisistheprocrastinator'ssystem.

It'snotpretty,butintheend,whatIdecidedtowriteaboutontheblogacoupleofyearsago.

WhenIdid,llythousandsofemailscamein,fromalldifferentkindsofpeoplefromall

overtheworld,repeoplewhowerenurs,bankers,painters,engineersandlots

andlotsofPhDstudents.

(Laughter)

Andtheywereallwriting,sayingthesamething:"Ihavethisproblemtoo."Butwhatstruckmewasthecontrastbetween

eoplewerewritingwithintenfrustrationabout

whatprocrastinationhaddonetotheirlives,oughtaboutthis,andI

said,well,iftheprocrastinator'ssystemworks,thenwhat'sgoingon?Whyareallofthepeopleinsuchadarkplace?

Well,itturnsoutthatthere'hingI'vetalkedabouttoday,theexamplesI'vegiven,they

nthere'sdeadlines,theeffectsofprocrastinationarecontainedtotheshorttermbecauthe

re'sacondkindofprocrastinationthathappensinsituationswhenthereisno

uwantedacareerwhereyou'realf-starter--somethinginthearts,somethingentrepreneurial--

there'snodeadlinesonthothingsatfirst,becaunothing'shappening,notuntilyou'vegoneoutanddonethehard

worktogetmomentum,'salsoallkindsofimportantthingsoutsideofyourcareerthatdon't

involveanydeadlines,likeeingyourfamilyorexercisingandtakingcareofyourhealth,workingonyourrelationshipor

gettingoutofarelationshipthatisn'tworking.

Nowiftheprocrastinator'sonlymechanismofdoingthehardthingsisthePanicMonster,that'saproblem,becauin

allofthenon-deadlinesituations,thePanicMonsterdoesn'othingtowakeupfor,sotheeffectsof

procrastination,they'renotcontained;'sthislong-termkindofprocrastination

that'smuchlessvisibleandmuchlesstalkedaboutthanthefunnier,'susuallysuffered

anbethesourceofahugeamountoflong-termunhappiness,ought,

that'swhythopeopleareemailing,andthat'swhythey''snotthatthey'recrammingforsome

'sthatlong-termprocrastinationhasmadethemfeellikeaspectator,attimes,stration

isnotthattheycouldn'tachievetheirdreams;it'sthattheyweren'tevenabletostartchasingthem.

SoIreadtheemailsandIhadalittlebitofanepiphany--thatIdon''sright--I

,youmightnotallbeamess,likesomeofus,

(Laughter)

andsomeofyoumayhaveahealthyrelationshipwithdeadlines,butremember:theMonkey'ssneakiesttrickiswhenthe

deadlinesaren'tthere.

Now,''snot

thatmanyboxes,especiallysincewe'nkweneedtoalltakealong,hardlookat

tothinkaboutwhatwe'rereallyprocrastinatingon,becaueveryoneisprocrastinatingon

'authere's

notthatmanyboxesonthere,it'sajobthatshouldprobablystarttoday.

Well,maybenottoday,but...

(Laughter)

13:48

mesoon.

拖延症是指自我调节失败，在能够预料后果有害的情况下，仍然把计划要做的事情往后推迟的一种行为。拖延是一

种普遍存在的现象，一项调查显示大约75%的大学生认为自己有时拖延，50%认为自己一直拖延。严重的拖延症会

对个体的身心健康带来消极影响，如出现强烈的自责情绪、负罪感，不断的自我否定、贬低，并伴有焦虑症、抑郁

症等心理疾病，一旦出现这种状态，需要引起重视。

用幽默的方式阐述了一个深度拖延症患者的独白。