nalini

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英语演讲稿：用肢体语言来塑造自己

SoIwanttostartbyofferingyouafreeno-techlifehack,

andallitrequiresofyouisthis:thatyouchangeyourposture

oreIgiveitaway,Iwanttoaskyouto

rightnowdoalittleauditofyourbodyandwhatyou'redoingwith

anyofyouaresortofmakingyourlvessmaller?

Maybeyou'rehunching,crossingyourlegs,maybewrappingyour

meswe

spreadout.(Laughter)Ieyou.(Laughter)SoIwantyoutopay

attentiontowhatyou''regoingtocomeback

tothatinafewminutes,andI'mhopingthatifyoulearntotweak

thisalittlebit,itcouldsignificantlychangethewayyourlife

unfolds.

So,we'rereallyfascinatedwithbodylanguage,andwe're

particularlyinterestedinotherpeople'w,

we'reinterestedin,like,youknow—(Laughter)—anawkward

interaction,orasmile,oracontemptuousglance,ormaybeavery

awkwardwink,ormaybeevensomethinglikeahandshake.

Narrator:HeretheyarearrivingatNumber10,andlookatthis

luckypolicemangetstoshakehandswiththePresidentoftheUnited

,andherecomesthePrimeMinisterofthe—?No.

(Laughter)(Applau)(Laughter)(Applau)

AmyCuddy:Soahandshake,orthelackofahandshake,canhave

eBBCandTheNew

ouslywhenwethinkaboutnonverbalbehavior,

orbodylanguage--butwecallitnonverbalsassocialscientists

--it'slanguage,think

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aboutcommunication,isyour

bodylanguagecommunicatingtome?What'sminecommunicatingtoyou?

Andthere'salotofreasontobelievethatthisisavalidway

alscientistshavespentalotoftimelooking

attheeffectsofourbodylanguage,orotherpeople'sbodylanguage,

akesweepingjudgmentsandinferencesfrom

judgmentscanpredictreallymeaningful

lifeoutcomeslikewhowehireorpromote,whoweaskoutonadate.

Forexample,NaliniAmbady,arearcheratTuftsUniversity,shows

thatwhenpeoplewatch30-condsoundlessclipsofreal

physician-patientinteractions,theirjudgmentsofthephysician's

doesn'thavetodosomuchwithwhetherornotthatphysicianwas

incompetent,butdowelikethatpersonandhowtheyinteracted?

Evenmoredramatic,AlexTodorovatPrincetonhasshownusthat

judgmentsofpoliticalcandidates'facesinjustonecondpredict

andgubernatorialraceoutcomes,andeven,

let'sgodigital,emoticonsudwellinonlinenegotiationscan

them

poorly,?Sowhenwethinkofnonverbals,wethink

ofhowwejudgeothers,howtheyjudgeusandwhattheoutcomes

toforget,though,theotheraudiencethat's

influencedbyournonverbals,andthat'sourlves.

Wearealsoinfluencedbyournonverbals,ourthoughtsandour

nonverbalsamItalkingabout?

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I'prejudice,andIteachata

competitivebusinessschool,soitwasinevitablethatIwould

eespeciallyinterested

innonverbalexpressionsofpoweranddominance.

Andwhatarenonverbalexpressionsofpoweranddominance?Well,

eanimalkingdom,theyareabout

akeyourlfbig,youstretchout,youtakeup

space,you''s

'snotjustlimitedtoprimates.

Andhumansdothesamething.(Laughter)Sotheydothisbothwhen

theyhavepowersortofchronically,andalsowhenthey'refeeling

soneispeciallyinteresting

becauitreallyshowsushowuniversalandoldtheexpressions

pression,whichisknownaspride,JessicaTracy

wsthatpeoplewhoarebornwithsightand

peoplewhoarecongenitallyblinddothiswhentheywinata

theycrossthefinishlineand

they'vewon,itdoesn'tmatterifthey'veneverenanyonedoit.

rmsupintheV,thechinisslightlylifted.

Whatdowedowhenwefeelpowerless?Wedoexactlytheopposite.

't

n,bothanimals

siswhathappenswhenyou

wetendtodowhenitcomes

topoweristhatwecomplementtheother'meone

isbeingreallypowerfulwithus,wetendtomakeourlvessmaller.

Wedon'eoppositeofthem.

SoI'mwatchingthisbehaviorintheclassroom,andwhatdo

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Inotice?InoticethatMBAstudentsreallyexhibitthefullrange

avepeoplewhoarelikecaricatures

ofalphas,reallycomingintotheroom,theygetrightintothe

middleoftheroombeforeclasvenstarts,liketheyreallywant

eysitdown,they'resortofspreadout.

eotherpeoplewhoare

theycomein,you

itontheirfacesandtheirbodies,andtheysit

intheirchairandtheymakethemlvestiny,andtheygolikethis

eacoupleofthingsaboutthis.

One,you'stoberelatedto

naremuchmorelikelytodothiskindofthingthan

eelchronicallylesspowerfulthanmen,sothisisnot

otherthingInoticedisthatitalsoemed

toberelatedtotheextenttowhichthestudentswereparticipating,

sisreallyimportant

intheMBAclassroom,becauparticipationcountsforhalfthe

grade.

Sobusinessschoolshavebeenstrugglingwiththisgendergrade

theequallyqualifiedwomenandmencominginand

thenyougetthedifferencesingrades,anditemstobepartly

rtedtowonder,youknow,

okay,soyouhavethepeoplecominginlikethis,andthey're

ssiblethatwecouldgetpeopletofakeit

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andwoulditleadthemtoparticipatemore?

SomymaincollaboratorDanaCarney,who'satBerkeley,andI

reallywantedtoknow,canyoufakeittillyoumakeit?Like,can

youdothisjustforalittlewhileandactuallyexperiencea

behavioraloutcomethatmakesyouemmorepowerful?Soweknow

thatournonverbalsgovernhowotherpeoplethinkandfeelabout

'questionreallywas,doour

nonverbalsgovernhowwethinkandfeelaboutourlves?

There',forexample,wesmile

whenwefeelhappy,butalso,whenwe'reforcedtosmilebyholding

apeninourteethlikethis,es

comestopower,

youfeelpowerful,you'remorelikelytodothis,butit'salso

possiblethatwhenyoupretendtobepowerful,youaremorelikely

toactuallyfeelpowerful.

Sothecondquestionreallywas,youknow,soweknowthat

ourmindschangeourbodies,butisitalsotruethatourbodies

changeourminds?AndwhenIsayminds,inthecaofthepowerful,

whatamItalkingabout?SoI'mtalkingaboutthoughtsandfeelings

andthesortofphysiologicalthingsthatmakeupourthoughtsand

feelings,andinmyca,that'

whatdothemindsofthepowerfulversusthepowerlesslooklike?

Sopowerfulpeopletendtobe,notsurprisingly,moreasrtive

andmoreconfident,tuallyfeelthat

they'sotendto

earealotofdifferences.

realotofdifferencesbetween

logically,therealsoare

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differencesontwokeyhormones:testosterone,whichisthe

dominancehormone,andcortisol,

whatwefindisthathigh-poweralphamalesinprimatehierarchies

havehightestosteroneandlowcortisol,andpowerfulandeffective

does

thatmean?Whenyouthinkaboutpower,peopletendedtothinkonly

abouttestosterone,lly,

uwantthe

high-powerleaderthat'sdominant,highontestosterone,butreally

stressreactive?Probablynot,right?Youwantthepersonwho's

powerfulandasrtiveanddominant,butnotverystressreactive,

thepersonwho'slaidback.

Soweknowthatinprimatehierarchies,ifanalphaneedsto

takeover,ifanindividualneedstotakeoveranalpharolesort

ofsuddenly,withinafewdays,thatindividual'stestosteronehas

goneupsignificantlyandhiscortisolhasdroppedsignificantly.

Sowehavethividence,boththatthebodycanshapethemind,

atleastatthefaciallevel,andalsothatrolechangescanshape

happens,okay,youtakearolechange,what

happensifyoudothatatareallyminimallevel,likethistiny

manipulation,thistinyintervention?"Fortwominutes,"yousay,

"Iwantyoutostandlikethis,andit'sgoingtomakeyoufeel

morepowerful."

dedtobringpeopleintothe

labandrunalittleexperiment,andthepeopleadopted,fortwo

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minutes,eitherhigh-powerposorlow-powerpos,andI'mjust

goingtoshowyoufiveofthepos,althoughtheytookononlytwo.

Sohere'ehasbeendubbedthe"Wonder

Woman"anbestanding

're

foldingup,you'eisverylow-power.

Whenyou'retouchingyourneck,you'rereallyprotectingyourlf.

mein,theyspitintoavial,we

fortwominutessay,"Youneedtodothisorthis."Theydon'tlook

'twanttoprimethemwithaconcept

themtobefeelingpower,right?Sotwominutes

askthem,"Howpowerfuldoyoufeel?"ona

riesofitems,andthenwegivethemanopportunitytogamble,

''sthewhole

experiment.

lerance,whichisthegambling,

whatwefindisthatwhenyou'reinthehigh-powerpocondition,

u'reinthelow-powerpo

condition,only60percent,andthat'saprettywhopping

'

theirbalinewhentheycomein,high-powerpeopleexperience

abouta20-percentincrea,andlow-powerpeopleexperienceabout

n,twominutes,andyougetthe

'-powerpeople

experienceabouta25-percentdecrea,andthelow-powerpeople

inutesleadto

thehormonalchangesthatconfigureyourbraintobasicallybe

eitherasrtive,confidentandcomfortable,orreally

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stress-reactive,and,youknow,'ve

allhadthefeeling,right?Soitemsthatournonverbalsdogovern

howwethinkandfeelaboutourlves,soit'snotjustothers,but

it',ourbodieschangeourminds.

Butthenextquestion,ofcour,iscanpowerposingforafew

minutesreallychangeyourlifeinmeaningfulways?Sothisisin

'sthislittletask,youknow,it'sjustacoupleof

anyouactuallyapplythis?Whichwecaredabout,

ethinkit'sreally,whatmatters,Imean,where

youwanttouthisivaluativesituationslikesocialthreat

reyoubeingevaluated,eitherbyyourfriends?

Likeforteenagersit'dbe,you

know,forsomepeopleit'

mightbegivingapitchorgivingatalklikethisordoingajob

dedthattheonethatmostpeoplecouldrelate

tobecaumostpeoplehadbeenthroughwasthejobinterview.

Sowepublishedthefindings,andthemediaarealloverit,

andtheysay,Okay,sothisiswhatyoudowhenyougoinforthe

jobinterview,right?(Laughter)Youknow,sowewereofcour

horrified,andsaid,OhmyGod,no,no,no,that'snotwhatwemeant

erousreasons,no,no,no,don',

'syoutalking

youdobeforeyougointoajobinterview?

?You''relookingatyour

iPhone--oryourAndroid,,

youknow,you'relookingatyournotes,you'rehunchingup,making

yourlfsmall,whenreallywhatyoushouldbedoingmaybeisthis,

like,inthebathroom,right?'s

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?Sowebringpeopleintoalab,andthey

doeitherhigh-orlow-powerposagain,theygothroughavery

'ebeing

'rebeingjudgedalso,andthejudgesaretrainedto

givenononverbalfeedback,,imagine

iveminutes,nothing,

'swhat

MarianneLaFrancecalls"standinginsocialquicksand."Sothis

isthejobinterviewweput

themthrough,

havethecoderslookatthetapes,'reblind

'veno

ideawho'sbeenposinginwhatpo,andtheyenduplookingatthe

tsoftapes,andtheysay,"Oh,wewanttohirethepeople,"

--allthehigh-powerpors--"wedon'twanttohirethepeople.

Wealsoevaluatethepeoplemuchmorepositivelyoverall."But

what'sdrivingit?It''s

abouttheprencethatthey',

becauweratethemonallthevariablesrelatedtocompetence,

like,howwell-structuredisthespeech?Howgoodisit?Whatare

theirqualifications?what's

arebringingtheirtrue

lves,'ingtheir

ideas,butasthemlves,withno,youknow,residueoverthem.

Sothisiswhat'sdrivingtheeffect,ormediatingtheeffect.

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SowhenItellpeopleaboutthis,thatourbodieschangeour

mindsandourmindscanchangeourbehavior,andourbehaviorcan

changeouroutcomes,theysaytome,"Idon't--Itfeelsfake."

Right?SoIsaid,'t--It'snotme.

Idon''t

'twanttogetthereonlyto

feellikeI'treallyresonated

withme,becauIwanttotellyoualittlestoryaboutbeingan

impostorandfeelinglikeI'mnotsuppodtobehere.

WhenIwas19,rown

outofacar,

Iwokeupinaheadinjuryrehabward,andIhadbeenwithdrawnfrom

college,ppedbytwostandard

deviations,eIhad

identifiedwithbeingsmart,andIhadbeencalledgiftedasachild.

SoI'mtakenoutofcollege,y,

"You',youknow,thereareother

thingsforyoutodo,butthat'snotgoingtoworkoutforyou."

SoIreallystruggledwiththis,andIhavetosay,havingyour

identitytakenfromyou,yourcoreidentity,andformeitwasbeing

smart,havingthattakenfromyou,there'snothingthatleavesyou

tentirelypowerless.

Iworkedandworkedandworked,andIgotlucky,andworked,and

gotlucky,andworked.

mefouryears

longerthanmypeers,andIconvincedsomeone,myangeladvisor,

SusanFiske,totakemeon,andsoIendedupatPrinceton,and

Iwaslike,

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thenightbeforemyfirst-yeartalk,andthefirst-yeartalkat

'afraid

ofbeingfoundoutthenextdaythatIcalledherandsaid,"I'm

quitting."Shewaslike,"Youarenotquitting,becauItooka

gambleonyou,andyou''regoingtostay,andthis

iswhatyou''regoing

'rejustgoing

todoitanddoitanddoit,evenifyou'reterrifiedandjust

paralyzedandhavinganout-of-bodyexperience,untilyouhavethis

momentwhereyousay,'Ohmygosh,I',Ihavebecome

uallydoingthis.'"Sothat'ars

ingradschool,afewyears,youknow,I'matNorthwestern,Imoved

toHarvard,I'matHarvard,I'mnotreallythinkingaboutitanymore,

butforalongtimeIhadbeenthinking,"Notsuppodtobehere.

Notsuppodtobehere."

SoattheendofmyfirstyearatHarvard,astudentwhohad

nottalkedinclasstheentiremester,whoIhadsaid,"Look,

you'vegottaparticipateorelyou'regoingtofail,"cameinto

ydidn'said,shecame

intotallydefeated,andshesaid,"I'mnotsuppodtobehere."

wasthatIrealized,ohmygosh,Idon'tfeellikethatanymore.

'tfeelthatanymore,butshedoes,andIgetthat

condwas,sheissuppodtobehere!Like,she

canfakeit,like,"Yes,youare!You

aresuppodtobehere!Andtomorrowyou'regoingtofakeit,

you'regoingtomakeyourlfpowerful,and,youknow,you'regonna

—"(Applau)(Applau)"Andyou'regoingtogointothe

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classroom,andyouaregoingtogivethebestcommentever."You

know?Andshegavethebestcommentever,andpeopleturnedaround

andtheywerelike,ohmyGod,Ididn'tevennoticehersittingthere,

youknow?(Laughter)

Shecomesbacktomemonthslater,andIrealizedthatshehad

notjustfakedittillshemadeit,shehadactuallyfakedittill

wanttosaytoyou,don't

w?It's

not—Doitenoughuntilyouactuallybecomeitandinternalize.

ThelastthingI'eaks

utes,two

minutes,yougointothenextstressful

evaluativesituation,fortwominutes,trydoingthis,inthe

elevator,inabathroomstall,atyourdeskbehindcloddoors.

That'ureyourbraintocopethebest

rcortisoldown.

Don'tleavethatsituationfeelinglike,oh,Ididn'tshowthem

hatsituationfeelinglike,oh,Ireallyfeellike

IgottosaywhoIamandshowwhoIam.

SoIwanttoaskyoufirst,youknow,bothtotrypowerposing,

andalsoIwanttoaskyoutosharethescience,becauthisis

'thaveegoinvolvedinthis.(Laughter)Giveitaway.

Shareitwithpeople,becauthepeoplewhocanuitthemost

aretheoneswithnoresourcesandnotechnologyandnostatusand

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needtheirbodies,privacyandtwominutes,anditcansignificantly

ou.(Applau)(Applau