all you need is love

【恋爱心理学】爱情守则（Lovepsychology）

Lovepsychology

Humanbeingsareeagertobeintimate,needlove,needtobe

r,peoplehavealotofproblemsintheprocess

oflove

FrommanylettersI'vereceived,it'sclearthatmostpeople

don'thaveanyideaabouthealthyrelationships,oreventhe

eIamveryconcernedaboutthe

things,butalsoconcernedabouttheenvironmentforchildren

togrowup,soItakethisopportunitytomakecorrectionsto

thiskindofproblem.

Ihavestudiedmanyliteratureresourcesandexperts,andput

byno

'

principlesout,

nottestyouontheprinciples,butlifewilltestmeforyou.

Chooaspouwhoisintelligentandfriendlytoothers.

Becauofallsortsofreasons,weattractandattractothers.

veusgifts,

sswhether

apartnercanbeyourpotentialmate,lookathispersonality,

personality,values,generosity,consistencyofhiswordsand

actions,andhisrelationshipwithothers.

Knowyourspou'entpeoplehave

't

wanttofallinlovewithapersonwhoalwayxpectsalotof

dishonestrelationships;ifhedoesn'thavelotsoflovearound

him,he'sgoingtomakeitoffcour.

Don'allyatthebeginningofa

loveaffair,xualattractionandpleasureareoftenmistaken

forlove.

ffairisnota

people,menandwomen,areashamedor

evenafraidtosaywhattheywant,andasaresult,theyhide

,theyweredisappointedattheend

becautheydidn'tgetwhattheywanted,andtheywereangry

becautheirspoudidn'er,it

didn'w,your

partnerwillnotmindreading.

Respect!Respect!Respect!Trytomakeyourpartnerrespectyou

respectisveryimportantfor

maintainingagoodrelationship.

Takethetwoofyouasagroup,whichmeansthatbothofyou

havedifferentideasandstrengthsasauniqueindividual.

That'sthevalueofthegroup-you'redifferent.

Thekeytomaintaininggoodrelationshipsisknowinghowtodeal

eementdoesn'tmakeyourrelationship

wor,plemustknowhowtodealwith

negativeemotionswhentheygetalongwitheachother.

Ifyoudon'tunderstandwhatyourpartnerisdoing,askhim/

icateandsharewithhimorher,instead

ofguessingbyyourlf.

Whenproblemsari,solvethem,don'tletrentment

gpeopleinloveisthemain

rtopreventharm,

peoplewilluisolatedlf-protectionmechanismtomakethe

relationshipstrangeandevenbecomeenemies.

relationsarenolongersubjectto

screatetheirownroles,

andinfact,manysmalldetailsoflifeneedtobenegotiated.

Ifnegotiationisgood,itwillbenefitalot!Becaupeople's

needsareflowing,theyarechangingallthetime,andtheneeds

ntenanceofDuanMeiman's

relationshiprequiresconstantconsultationand

renegotiation.

Listenandlistentoyourpartner'striviaandcomplaints

thetime,wejustneedalistener

tosolveourworries-ofcour,thisaudienceiswhatwe

athyiscrucial,thatmeansfromyour

partner'spointofviewandperspective,he/sheiskeenly

awareoftheproblemncountered.

Ittakefforttomaintainaclorelationship!Intimacyis

titssolidfoundation,people

relationshipisnotanendgoal;it'saprocessthatneeds

lifelongattentiontomaintain.

Inthelongrun,amarriageisacontractthatwillcometogether

tyourdreamswitheachothersothatthe

urdreamstogether.

Don'tunderestimatetheeffectofagooddress.

Thexisgood,'asyto

havex,butit'shardtodosomethingthatmakesyoumore

intimate.

Itdependsonyoursincerity,openness,lfdisclosure,fear

oftrust,fear,sadness,and,ofcour,hopeanddreams.

Neversleepwithanger,trytobemoretender.

Apology,apology,'s

criticaltotrytomendrelationships-that'sagoodindication

ndof

youtryto

ridiculeher-butit'sacommonelementineveryhappymarriage

toactivelymendtherelationshipaftereveryargument.

Therearesomegoodthingstorelyon,buteverythingdepends

entirelyononeperson,whichisanunpleasantrelationshipfor

encedependsontheclonessofthe

relationshipbetweentwopeople,includingfriends,advisors,

equallyeffectiveformenand

women.

willbemore

likelytolikeyouandapproachyou,ifyoulikeyourlf.

Studieshaveshownthatapersonplaysmorerolesinhislife,

gfulwork

-whetherit'spaidorobligatory-isanimportantwaytogain

experienceandconfidence.

Therelationshipbetweentwopeopleinrichedthrough

externalrelationships,andifyouhavemorepassioninyour

lifetosharewithothers,thenyourrelationshipwillbemore

athatapersoncanmeetalltheneedsin

yourlifeisunrealistic.

Cooperation!Shareresponsibility.

Goodrelationshipscanbebuiltonlyonthebasisoftwo-way

communication,acceptanceandgiving.

Keepyourinitiative.

Keepyourenergyandhealth.

Let'srealizethatallrelationshipshaveupsanddowns,and

theycan'peritywillmakethe

relationshipmorestable.

Whenyouencounterafailedrelationship,reflectonyourown

'tendthisrelationshipimmediately,oryou'll

fitasamirrortoeyourlf,and

thinkaboutwhatyou'

yourlfbeforeyouchangeyourrelationships.

Youneedtounderstandthatloveisnotunconditional,it'snot

somethingyouownordon'ingandflowoflove

earnnewwaysof

communication,lovewillcomeback,evenstrongerthanbefore.