invisibleman

Chapter1

Itgoesalongwayback,ifeIhadbeenlookingfor

something,ted

theiranswerstoo,thoughtheywereoftenincontradictionandeven

ïokingormylfandaskingeveryoneexcept

mylfquestionswhichI,andonlyI,mealongtimeandmuch

painfulboomerangingofmyexpectationstoachievearealizationeveryoneel

appearstohavebeenbornwith:stIhadto

discoverthatIamaninvisibleman!

AndyetIamnofreakofnature,thecards,otherthings

havingbeenequal(orunequal)ashamedofmy

yashamedofmylfforhavingatone

ighty-fiveyearsagotheyweretoldthattheywerefree,

unitedwithothersofourcountryineverythingpertainingtothecommongood,and,

ineverythingsocial,

ayedintheirplace,workedhard,andbroughtupmyfathertodo

noddoldguy,mygrandfather,and

eathbedhe

calledmyfathertohimandsaid,"Son,afterI'mgoneIwantyoutokeepupthegood

toldyou,butourlifeisawarandIhavebeenatraitorallmyborndays,

aspyintheenemy'scountryeversinceIgiveupmygunbackintheReconstruction.

Livewithyourheadinthelion'outoovercome'emwithyes,

undermine'emwithgrins,agree'emtodeathanddestruction,let'emswolleryou

tilltheyvomitorbustwideopen."Theythoughttheoldmanhadgoneoutofhis

ngerchildrenwererushedfromthe

room,theshadesdrawnandtheflameofthelampturnedsolowthatitsputteredon

thewickliketheoldman'sbreathing."Learnittotheyounguns,"hewhispered

fiercely;thenhedied.

asthoughhehadnotdiedatall,rned

emphaticallytoforgetwhathehadsaidand,indeed,thisisthefirsttimeithasbeen

tremendouffectuponme,however.I

atherhadbeenaquietoldmanwho

nevermadeanytrouble,yetonhisdeathbedhehadcalledhimlfatraitorandaspy,

meaconstant

neverthingswentwell

s

akeitwor,

co

as

praidformyconductIfeltaguiltthatinsomewayIwasdoingsomethingthatwas

reallyagainstthewishesofthewhitefolks,thatiftheyhadunderstoodtheywould

havedesiredmetoactjusttheopposite,thatIshouldhavebeensulkyandmean,

andthatthatreallywouldhavebeenwhattheywanted,eventhoughtheywere

meafraidthatsomeday

wasmoreafraidto

actanyotherwaybecautheydidn'man'swordswerelikea

aduationdayIdeliveredanorationinwhichIshowedthathumility

wasthecret,indeed,theveryesnceofprogress.(NotthatIbelievedthis--how

couldI,rememberingmygrandfather?--Ionlybelievedthatitworked.)Itwasa

nepraidmeandIwasinvitedtogivethespeechata

gatheringofthetown'triumphforourwhole

community.

otthereIdiscovered

thatitwasontheoccasionofasmoker,andIwastoldthatsinceIwastobethere

anywayImightaswelltakepartinthebattleroyaltobefoughtbysomeofmy

tleroyalcamefirst.

Allofthetown'sbigshotswerethereintheirtuxedoes,wolfingdownthebuffet

foods,largeroomwitha

werearrangedinneatrowsaroundthreesidesofaportable

rthsidewasclear,revealingagleamingspaceofpolishedfloor.I

hadsomemisgivingsoverthebattleroyal,madistasteforfighting,

butbecauIdidn'

weretoughguyswhoemedtohavenograndfather'scurworryingtheirminds.

ides,Isuspectedthatfightingabattle

epre-invisibledaysI

otherfellowsdidn't

caretoomuchformeeither,uperiortothemin

myway,andIdidn'tlikethemannerinwhichwewereallcrowdedtogetherintothe

rvants',asthewarmlylighted

floorsflashedpasttheelevatorwehadwordsoverthefactthatI,bytakingpartin

thefight,hadknockedoneoftheirfriendsoutofanight'swork.

Wewereledoutoftheelevatorthrougharococohallintoananteroomandtold

uswasissuedapairofboxingglovesand

usheredoutintothebigmirroredhall,whichweenteredlookingcautiouslyaboutus

andwhispering,

ocked

reallthere

--bankers,lawyers,judges,doctors,firechiefs,teachers,eofthe

ingwecouldnotewasgoingonupfront.A

clarinetwasvibratingnsuouslyandthemenwerestandingupandmovingeagerly

asmalltightgroup,clusteredtogether,ourbareupperbodies

touchingandshiningwithanticipatorysweat;whileupfrontthebigshotswere

lyI

heardtheschoolsuperintendent,whohadtoldmetocome,yell,"Bringupthe

shines,gentlemen!Bringupthelittleshines!"

Wewererusheduptothefrontoftheballroom,whereitsmelledevenmore

twetmy

faces,somehostile,someamud,ringedaroundus,andinthe

center,facingus,asdeadsilence.I

tobackaway,buttheywerebehindmeand

theboysstoodwithloweredheads,waveof

hchattered,myskinturnedtogooflesh,myknees

priceof

lookingbeenblindness,rwasyellowlikethatofacircus

kewpiedoll,thefaceheavilypowderedandrouged,asthoughtoformanabstract

mask,theeyeshollowandsmearedacoolblue,thecolorofababoon'

astswere

firmandroundasthedomesofEastIndiantemples,andIstoodsocloastoe

thefineskintextureandbeadsofpearlyperspirationglisteninglikedewaroundthe

datoneandthesametimetorunfrom

theroom,tosinkthroughthefloor,orgotoherandcoverherfrommyeyesandthe

eyesoftheotherswithmybody;tofeelthesoftthighs,tocaressheranddestroyher,

toloveherandmurderher,tohidefromher,andyettostrokewherebelowthe

notionthatofallintheroomshesawonlymewithherimpersonaleyes.

Andthenshebegantodance,aslownsuousmovement;thesmokeofa

medlikeafairbird-girl

girdledinveilscallingtomefromtheangrysurfaceofsomegrayandthreateninga.

ecameawareoftheclarinetplayingandthebigshots

ghtI

amangrabbedasilverpitcherfromatableandstepped

cloashedashedicewateruponhimandstoodhimupandforcedtwoofusto

r

helargestofthegroup,wearingdarkred

fightingtrunksmuchtoosmalltoconcealtheerectionwhichprojectedfromhimas

td

tohidehimlfwithhisboxinggloves.

Andallthewhiletheblondecontinueddancing,smilingfaintlyatthebigshots

whowatchedherwithfascination,edacertain

merchantwhofollowedherhungrily,largeman

whoworediamondstudsinashirtfrontwhichswelledwiththeamplepaunch

underneath,andeachtimetheblondeswayedherundulatinghipsheranhishand

throughthethinhairofhisbaldheadand,withhisarmsupheld,hispostureclumsy

likethatofanintoxicatedpanda,

ancerflung

herlfaboutwithadetachedexpressiononherface,themenbeganreachingoutto

theothers

triedtostopthemandshebegantomovearoundtheflooringracefulcircles,asthey

gavecha,went

crashing,drinkswerespilt,ught

herjustasshereachedadoor,raidherfromthefloor,andtosdherascollege

boysaretosdatahazing,andaboveherred,fixed-smilinglipsIsawtheterrorand

disgustinhereyes,almostlikemyownterrorandthatwhichIsawinsomeofthe

ched,theytosdhertwiceandhersoftbreastsemedto

themoresober

artedoffthefloor,headingfortheanteroomwith

therestoftheboys.

etriedtoleavewewerestopped

tenofusclimbedundertheropesandallowedourlvestobeblindfoldedwith

hemenemedtofeelabitsympatheticand

ustriedto

grin."Seethatboyoverthere?"oneofthemensaid."Iwantyoutorunacrossatthe

on'tgethim,I'mgoingtogetyou.I

don'tlikehislooks."

ndeachwordwasasbrightas

heclothpresdintoplace,andfrownedsothatitwouldbelooned

whenIrelaxed.

s

thoughIhadsuddenlyfoundmylfinadarkroomfilledwithpoisonous

heartheblearyvoicesyellinginsistentlyforthebattleroyalto

begin.

"Getgoinginthere!"

"Letmeatthatbignigger!"

Istrainedtopickuptheschoolsuperintendent'svoice,asthoughtosqueeze

somecurityoutofthatslightlymorefamiliarsound.

"Letmeatthoblacksonsabitches!"someoneyelled.

"No,Jackson,no!"anothervoiceyelled."Here,somebody,helpmeholdJack."

"mlimbfromlimb,"thefirst

voiceyelled.

hodaysIwaswhattheycalled

gingercolored,andhesoundedasthoughhemightcrunchmebetweenhisteethlike

acrispgingercookie.

werebeingkickedaboutandIcouldhear

dtoe,toemoredesperatelythan

blindfoldwasastightasathickskin-puckeringscabandwhenI

raidmyglovedhandstopushthelayersofwhiteasideavoiceyelled,"Oh,noyou

don't,blackbastard!Leavethatalone!"

"RingthebellbeforeJacksonkillshimacoon!"someoneboomedinthesudden

ardthebellclangandthesoundofthefeetscufflingforward.

ed,strikingoutstifflyassomeonewent

past,

ounded

blowslandeduponme

thatIwonderedifIwerenottheonlyblindfoldedfighterinthering,oriftheman

calledJacksonhadn'tsucceededingettingmeafterall.

Blindfolded,led

kehadbecomethickerandwitheach

vabecamelikehot

connectedwithmyhead,

nottellifthemoistureIfeltuponmybodywassweator

ylfgoingover,my

sofbluelightfilledtheblackworldbehindtheblindfold.

Ilayprone,pretendingthatIwasknockedout,butfeltmylfizedbyhandsand

yankedtomyfeet."Getgoing,blackboy!Mixitup!"Myarmswerelikelead,my

edtofeelmywaytotheropesandheldon,trying

landedinmymid-ctionandIwentoveragain,feeling

thiswayand

thatbythelegsmillingaroundme,IfinallypullederectanddiscoveredthatIcould

etheblack,sweat-washedformsweavinginthesmoky-blueatmospherelike

drunkendancersweavingtotherapiddrum-likethudsofblows.

odyfought

,three,four,foughtone,then

turnedtofighteachother,andedbelowthebelt

andinthekidney,withtheglovesopenaswellasclod,andwithmyeyepartly

carefully,avoidingblows,

althoughnottoomanytoattractattention,s

gropedaboutlikeblind,cautiouscrabscrouchingtoprotecttheirmid-ctions,their

headspulledinshortagainsttheirshoulders,theirarmsstretchednervouslybefore

them,withtheirfiststestingthesmoke-filledairliketheknobbedfeelersof

ornerIglimpdaboyviolentlypunchingtheairand

condI

sawhimbentoverholdinghishand,thengoingdownasablowcaughthis

donegroupagainsttheother,slippinginandthrowinga

punchthensteppingoutofrangewhilepushingtheothersintothemeleetotakethe

kewasagonizingandtherewerenorounds,no

mspunroundme,a

swirloflights,smoke,rom

bothnoandmouth,thebloodspatteringuponmychest.

Themenkeptyelling,"Slughim,blackboy!Knockhisgutsout!"

"Uppercuthim!Killhim!Killthatbigboy!"

Takingafakefall,Isawaboygoingdownheavilybesidemeasthoughwewere

felledbyasingleblow,sawasneaker-cladfootshootintohisgroinasthetwowho

doutofrange,feelingatwingeof

,Ihad

lditgo?Wouldtheyrecognizemy

ability?Whatwouldtheygiveme?

IwasfightingautomaticallywhensuddenlyInoticedthatoneafteranotherof

rprid,filledwithpanic,asthoughIhadbeen

shadarrangedit

hecustomforthetwomenleftintheringtoslugitout

forthewinner'ebellsoundedtwomenin

mylffacing

Tatlock,hadthebellstopped

ringinginmyearsthanitclangedagainandIsawhimmovingswiftlytowardme.

coming,bringing

ewasablackblankofaface,onlyhis

eyesalive--withhateofmeandaglowwithafeverishterrorfromwhathad

dtodelivermyspeechandhecameat

edhimagainandagain,taking

asuddenimpulIstruckhimlightlyandaswe

clinched,Iwhispered,"FakelikeIknockedyouout,youcanhavetheprize."

"I'llbreakyourbehind,"hewhisperedhoarly.

"Forthem?"

"Forme,sonofabitch!"

TheywereyellingforustobreakitupandTatlockspunmehalfaroundwitha

blow,andasajoggledcamerasweepsinareelingscene,Isawthehowlingredfaces

menttheworld

wavered,unraveled,flowed,thenmyheadclearedandTatlockbouncedbeforeme.

llingforward,

myheadagainsthisdampshoulder,Iwhispered,"I'llmakeitfivedollarsmore."

"Gotohell!"

ButhismusclesrelaxedatriflebeneathmypressureandIbreathed,

"Seven?"

"Giveittoyourma,"hesaid,rippingmebeneaththeheart.

ylfbombarded

dtodelivermy

speechmorethananythingelintheworld,feltthatonlythemencouldjudge

trulymyability,fighting

carefullynow,

blowtohischinandIhadhimgoingtoo--untilIheardaloudvoiceyell,"Igotmy

moneyonthebigboy."

27Hearingthis,nfud:ShouldItrytowin

againstthevoiceoutthere?Wouldnotthisgoagainstmyspeech,andwasnotthisa

momentforhumility,fornonresistance?AblowtomyheadasIdancedaboutnt

mwent

dreamfall,mybodylanguidandfastidiousastowheretoland,

tlaterI

ythere,hazilywatchinga

darkredspotofmyownbloodshapingitlfintoabutterfly,glisteningandsoaking

intothesoiledgrayworldofthecanvas.

zed.

MyeyepainedandswelledwitheachthrobofmypoundingheartandIwonderedif

ingingwet,

erboysignoredmeastheycongratulated

whimpered

gupfront,Isawattendantsinwhitejacketsrollingthe

portableringawayandplacingasmallsquareruginthevacantspacesurroundedby

s,Ithought,Iwillstandontherugtodelivermyspeech.

tous,"Comeonuphereboysandgetyourmoney."

Weranforwardtowherethemenlaughedandtalkedintheirchairs,waiting.

Everyoneemedfriendlynow.

"Thereitisontherug,"erugcoveredwithcoinsofall

texcitedme,scatteredhereandthere,

werethegoldpieces.

"Boys,it'sallyours,"themansaid."Yougetallyougrab."

"That'sright,Sambo,"ablondmansaid,winkingatmeconfidentially.

Itrembledwithexcitement,getthegoldandthebills,

throwmybodyagainsttheboysnearest

metoblockthemfromthegold.

"Getdownaroundtherugnow,"themancommanded,"anddon'tanyonetouch

ituntilIgivethesignal."

"Thisoughttobegood,"Iheard.

Astold,themanraidhis

freckledhandaswefolloweditupwardwithoureyes.

Iheard,"Theniggerslooklikethey'reabouttopray!"

Then,"Ready,"themansaid."Go!"

Ilungedforayellowcoinlyingonthebluedesignofthecarpet,touchingitand

franticallytoremove

,violentforcetorethroughmybody,shakingme

rbristleduponmyheadasIshook

lesjumped,mynervesjangled,wthatthiswas

nginfearandembarrassment,somewere

holdingbackandscoopingupthecoinsknockedoffbythepainfulcontortionsofthe

roaredaboveusaswestruggled.

"Pickitup,goddamnit,pickitup!"someonecalledlikeabass-voicedparrot."Go

on,getit!"

Icrawledrapidlyaroundthefloor,pickingupthecoins,tryingtoavoidthe

ngtheshockbylaughing,asI

brushedthecoinsoffquickly,IdiscoveredthatIcouldcontaintheelectricity--a

contradiction,ng

embarrasdly,all

lyIsawaboyliftedintotheair,glistening

withsweatlikeacircusal,anddropped,hiswetbacklandingflushuponthe

chargedrug,heardhimyellandsawhimliterallydanceuponhisback,elbows

beatingafrenziedtattoouponthefloor,hismusclestwitchinglikethefleshofa

finallyrolledoff,hisfacewasgrayandnoone

stoppedhimwhenheranfromtheflooramidboominglaughter.

"Getthemoney,"."That'sgoodhardAmericancash!"

Andwesnatchedandgrabbed,refulnottocome

tooclototherugnow,andwhenIfeltthehotwhiskeybreathdescenduponme

ccupied

andIheldondesperately.

"Leggo,nigger!Leggo!"

ody

d,whoownedachainofmovie

housand"entertainmentpalaces."EachtimehegrabbedmeIslippedoutofhis

dtherugmorethanIdidthedrunk,soIheld

on,uch

nottobe

obvious,yetwhenIgrabbedhisleg,tryingtotumblehimoutofthechair,heraid

uproaringwithlaughter,and,lookingatmewithsobernessdeadintheeye,kicked

irlegflewoutofmyhandandIfeltmylfgoing

eda

wholecenturywouldpassbeforeIwouldrollfree,acenturyinwhichIwasared

throughthedeepestlevelsofmybodytothefearfulbreathwithinmeandthebreath

'llallbeoverinaflash,IthoughtasI

'llallbeoverinaflash.

45Butnotyet,themenontheothersidewerewaiting,redfacesswollenas

theirfingers

comingtowardmeIrolledawayasafumbledfootballrollsoffthereceiver's

fingertips,meIluckilynttherugslidingoutofplaceand

heardthecoinsringingagainstthefloorandtheboysscufflingtopickthemupand

g,"Allright,boys,that'resdandgetyourmoney."

feltasthoughithadbeenbeatenwithwires.

andgaveuachfivedollars,except

Tatlock,tto

getachancetodelivermyspeech,ingoutintothedimalleyin

nedtotheballroom,where

themenwerepushingbacktheirchairsandgatheringingroupstotalk.

donatableforquiet."Gentlemen,"hesaid,"wealmost

eriouspart,y

wasbroughtheretodeliveraspeechwhichhemadeathisgraduationyesterday..."

"Bravo!"

"I'mtoldthatheisthesmartestboywe'vegotoutthereinGreenwood.I'mtold

thatheknowsmorebigwordsthanapocket-sizeddictionary."

Muchapplauandlaughter.

"Sonow,gentlemen,Iwantyoutogivehimyourattention."

TherewasstilllaughterasIfacedthem,mymouthdry,

slowly,butevidentlymythroatwasten,becautheybeganshouting,"Louder!

Louder!"

54"Weoftheyoungergenerationextolthewisdomofthatgreatleaderand

educator,"Ishouted,"whofirstspoketheflamingwordsofwisdom:'Ashiplostat

emastofthe

unfortunateveslwasenasignal:"Water,water;wedieofthirst!"Theanswer

fromthefriendlyveslcameback:"Castdownyourbucketwhereyouare."The

captainofthedistresdvesl,atlastheedingtheinjunction,castdownhisbucket,

anditcameupfulloffreshsparklingwaterfromthemouthoftheAmazonRiver.'

AndlikehimIsay,andinhiswords,'Tothoofmyracewhodependuponbettering

theirconditioninaforeignland,orwhounderestimatetheimportanceofcultivating

friendlyrelationswiththeSouthernwhiteman,whoishisnext-doorneighbor,I

wouldsay:"Castdownyourbucketwhereyouare"--castitdowninmakingfriends

ineverymanlywayofthepeopleofallracesbywhomwearesurrounded...'"

55IspokeautomaticallyandwithsuchfervorthatIdidnotrealizethatthemen

werestilltalkingandlaughinguntilmydrymouth,fillingupwithbloodfromthecut,

ed,wantingtostopandgotooneofthetallbrass,

sand-filledspittoonstorelievemylf,butafewofthemen,especiallythe

superintendent,peditdown,blood,salivaand

all,andcontinued.(WhatpowersofenduranceIhadduringthodays!What

enthusiasm!Whatabeliefintherightnessofthings!)Ispokeevenlouderinspiteof

lltheytalkedandstilltheylaughed,asthoughdeafwithcottonin

dmyearsand

echemedahundredtimesaslong

asbefore,tobesaid,eachmemorized

nuanceconsidered,erIutteredawordofthree

hephra

"socialresponsibility"andtheyyelled:

"What'sthatwordyousay,boy?"

"Socialresponsibility,"Isaid.

"What?"

"Social..."

"Louder."

"...responsibility."

"More!"

"Respon--"

"Repeat!"

"--sibility."

Theroomfilledwiththeuproaroflaughteruntil,nodoubt,distractedbyhaving

togulpdownmyblood,ImadeamistakeandyelledaphraIhadoftenen

denouncedinnewspapereditorials,hearddebatedinprivate.

"Social..."

"What?"theyyelled.

"...equality--"

dmyeyes,puzzled.

outedhostile

dnotunderstand.

Asmalldrymustachedmaninthefrontrowblaredout,"Saythatslowly,son!"

"Whatsir?"

"Whatyoujustsaid!"

"Socialresponsibility,sir,"Isaid.

"Youweren'tbeingsmart,wereyou,boy?"hesaid,notunkindly.

"No,sir!"

"Yousurethatabout'equality'wasamistake?"

"Oh,yes,sir,"Isaid."Iwasswallowingblood."

"Well,todo

rightbyyou,butyou'ht,now,goonwith

yourspeech."

dtoleavebutIwantedalsotospeakandIwasafraidthey'd

snatchmedown.

"Thankyou,sir,"Isaid,beginningwhereIhadleftoff,andhavingthemignoreme

asbefore.

rpridtoethe

superintendentcomeforthwithapackagewrappedinwhitetissuepaper,and,

gesturingforquiet,addressthemen.

"Gentlemen,sagoodspeech

andsomedayhe'n'thavetotellyou

agood,smartboy,andsoto

encouragehimintherightdirection,inthenameoftheBoardofEducationIwishto

prenthimaprizeintheformofthis..."

Hepaud,removingthetissuepaperandrevealingagleamingcalfskinbrief

ca.

"...intheformofthisfirst-classarticlefromShadWhitmore'sshop."

"Boy,"hesaid,addressingme,"erita

velopingasyouareandsomedayitwillbefilled

withimportantpapersthatwillhelpshapethedestinyofyourpeople."

fbloodysaliva

formingashapelikeanundiscoveredcontinentdrooledupontheleatherandIwiped

nimportancethatIhadneverdreamed.

"Openitandewhat'sinside,"Iwastold.

Myfingersa-tremble,Icomplied,smellingthefreshleatherandfindingan

scholarshiptothestatecollegeforNegroes.

MyeyesfilledwithtearsandIranawkwardlyoffthefloor.

90Iwasoverjoyed;IdidnotevenmindwhenIdiscoveredthatthegoldpiecesI

hadscrambledforwerebrasspockettokensadvertisingacertainmakeof

automobile.

ytheneighborscameto

eltsafefromgrandfather,whodeathbedcurusually

beneathhisphotographwithmybriefcainhandand

smiledtriumphantlyintohisstolidblackpeasant'facethatfascinated

semedtofolloweverywhereIwent.

ThatnightIdreamedIwasatacircuswithhimandthatherefudtolaughat

terhetoldmetoopenmybriefcaand

readwhatwasinsideandIdid,findinganofficialenvelopestampedwiththestate

al;andinsidetheenvelopeIfoundanotherandanother,endlessly,andIthoughtI

wouldfallofweariness."Them'syears,"hesaid."Nowopenthatone."AndIdidand

initIfoundanengraveddocumentcontainingashortmessageinlettersofgold.

"Readit,"mygrandfathersaid."Outloud."

"ToWhomItMayConcern,"Iintoned."KeepThisNigger-BoyRunning."

Iawokewiththeoldman'slaughterringinginmyears.

(hat

hadtoattendcollege.)