英汉互译软件

CommentariesontheVersionof“一个女人是这样衰老的”

一个女人是这样衰老的

SV：HowaWomanAges/AWoman’sAging/AWomanFades

Thus/WhatcausaWomantoGrowOld/TheWayinWhicha

womanisAging/HowaWomanGetsOld

RV:TheWayWomanWithers

点评：RhetoricalDevice:distillationandaesthetichightlightsof

language,eitherChineorEnglish/Thesuccessfulemploymentof

alliteration(头韵)

1．二十岁的时候，我穿着一条背心式牛仔裙在校园里走来走去，

一说话就脸红。三十岁的我穿着名牌套装，坐在办公桌前，满脸

冷酷地对下属说：“这么愚蠢的问题你也敢问？也不先打个草稿。”

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwalkedaboutonthecampus,wearinga

have

turnedthirty,Iamatedinfrontofabureau,inasuitoffamousbrand,

reproachingasubordinatecoldly“Howdareyouasksuchastupid

question?Whydidn’tyoumakeadraftfirst?”

RV:Attheageoftwenty,wearingajeansjumper,Imovedaboutonthe

campus,myfaceblushingthemomentIhadtheinclinationtomakean

geofthirty,I,wearingafamous-brandsuitandacold

look,reproachmysubordinatebluntly,“Howcanyougosofarastorai

suchasilly,mindlessquestion?”

点评：Zeugma(轭式修饰法)：afigureofspeechinwhichasingleword,

usuallyaverboradjective,issyntacticallyrelatedtotwoormorewords,

amples:

Thenatorpickeduphishatandhiscourage/Shepossdtwofal

teethandasympatheticheart/Helostthegameandhistemper.

2．二十岁的时候，从图书馆借的是《莎士比亚全集》、《一个青年

艺术家的自画像》和《尤里西斯》。三十岁之后，床头摆的是《跟

庄密笈》、《ELLE》和《经理人的个人魅力》.

SV:Attheageoftwenty,TheCollectedWorksofShakespeare,The

PortraitofanArtistasaYoungMan,andUlysswereborrowedfrom

hirty,StrategyofSpeculationonStocks,ELLEand

Manager’sPersonalCharmwereputonthebedside.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,Iborrowedbooksfromthelibrarylike

Shakespeare’sCompleteWorks,APortraitoftheArtistasaYoungMan,

hirty,onmybedside,liesuchbooksandmagazinesasThe

RecipeonStocks,ElleandManager’sCharm.

点评：Syntactically（依照句法地）,aestheticvaluegoesto

Eng-WeightnessinEnglish,

example:

swhenIwasyoungare

gone.

Wordcamethatbribery行贿at

briberyhasnthimtoprisoncame.

3．二十岁的暑假，在家乡的大街上偶遇自己的暗恋对象，听说他

考上了研究生，被他的进步所打击，心如刀绞，想到这辈子终于

不能出色得让他看我一眼，不禁怅然泪下。三十岁之后，到处打

听那里可以花钱买个MBA.

SV:At20,duringasummerholidayIencounteredmybelovedoneonthe

n’thelpsheddingtearsinmyextremegrief.

IthoughtthatforthislifeIcouldneverachievemuchtolethimemein

30,IinquireeverywherewheretopurchaanMBA

certificate.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,IranintotheyoungmanwhomIlovedin

aringthathehadbeen

enrolledasagraduate,Iwasvirtuallydealtaheavyblowbelieving

reluctantlysopainfulafactthatIcouldneverdowellenoughtowinhis

favor,hirty,Ibusymylf

hereandthere,inquiringwhereIcouldbyanMBAdiploma.

点评：Aesthetically（审美地）speaking,Englishappreciatesntence

posssingashortmainclau,withmanywords,phrasandclaus

attachedtoit,somethinglikeaclusterofgrapes,whileChinefavors

ntencestructureremblingbamboo,ongmentafteranother.

4．二十岁的时候，随时随地向人透露我的年龄，答得比问的还快。

三十岁之后，最恨别人问年龄，你要是非问不可，你猜啊。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwasalwaysreadytodisclomyageonall

occasionsandcouldnotwaittospeakouttheansweruntiltheinquirer

haveturnedthirty,Ihateanyinquiryaboutmy

nsist,haveaguess.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwassoreadytorevealmyage,tellingpeople

hirty,agebecame

bodyissonosy,Irespond,“Guess.”

点评：Englishisalanguageofmetaphor,leavingnostoneunturnedin

exploitingthemetaphoricalmeaning,orrathertheconnotative(转义的)

meaning,ofverysingleword,whileChinelanguageisheavily

denotation（本义）-dependent.

5．二十岁的时候，一心想和体育系、美术系的男生约会。三十岁

后，我简直认为自己当年是白痴。

SV:Wheninmytwenties,Iwasonlywillingtodateboysfromsportsor

hirty,IeventhoughtIhadbeenanidiotbefore.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,Ididlongtodatewiththeboysfromeither

physicaleducation,hirty,itemsso

unbelievablethatIonceidioticallypossdthatthought.

点评：Lexically（词汇地）speaking,partoftheaestheticvaluegoesto

flexiblewordformationinEnglishwhichdwarfsChine

6．二十岁的时候，有书店必须逛，有书必买。三十岁之后，对书

店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Ifrequentedthebookstoresandbought

hirty,Iignoredthemandwentaheadintothe

nearbybeautyparlor（店营业室）.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,thebookstorewasamustforme,andIwasa

fterthirty,payingnoattentiontothebookstore,I

breezeintothebeautyparlornextdoor.

点评：Itisuniversallyacknowledgedthatobscurityandabstract,

occasionallycreatesmoreaestheticvalue,whichcanaccomplishmore

accuracyandgracefulness.

7．二十岁的时候，老妈打电话，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了电话。

三十岁之后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭出声来：“妈呀，您老的

所有担心现在都应验了„„”

SV:Attheageoftwenty,whenmotherphonesme,Iamanxioustohang

heageofthirty,onhearingmother’svoiceonthe

phone,Icannothelpcryingout,“Mom,allthatyouworryabouthave

cometrue.”

RV:Attheageoftwenty,whiletalkingwithmymotheroverthephone,I

thirty,thevoiceofMominvariablytriggersmycrying,“Mom,your

worriesaboutmymarriagehaveallcometrue.”

点评：Chineexpressionsinvolvemoreobscurity,asignoflavishly

artistically-conceived（持有艺术的）language,whileEnglishpins（紧

扣）moreaestheticvalueonclarityandlegibility（易辨认,易理解）,a

manifestationofalanguagelargelygovernedbylogic.

傅雷：东方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧，我人重综合、重归纳

重暗示、重含蓄；西方人则重分析，细微曲折、挖掘惟恐不尽，描写

惟恐不周。

王力：西洋语法是硬的，没有弹性；中国语法是软的，富有弹性。中

国语法以达意为主。

杨振宁：中国的文化是模糊、朦胧及总体的方向走，而西方的文化是

向准确而具体的方向走。汉语，写诗却是一个优点。

8．二十岁的时候，我真想往前冲，谁也别挡我。三十岁之后，我

真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,

mythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:anotherNewYearis

looming.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthe

irties,Istrivetohangontoevery

moment:Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.

点评：TheChinetextemstobevagueandimplicit;theliteralversion

donebymystudentgoeslikethis:Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforward

irties,Istrivetohangontothe

moment:ouunderstandthisliteral

version?//Answer:uldmakeafew

changes:“Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernfor

irties,Istrivetohangontoevery

moment:Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.”

9．二十岁的时候，我想出名要趁早，一个人到了三十岁还籍籍无

名那还活个什么劲呀？三十岁之后，名是不指望了，只希望在四

十岁的时候能象我老板一样有钱。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Isaid,togainfame,

dullitshouldbeoneisstillinfamousinherthirties!Inmythirties,

aveawishtobeasrichasmy

bossinmyforties.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,it’sbettertobefamousbeforeit’stoolate,I

uldbethespiceoflifeforapersonderted(放弃)by

famewhenapproachingthirty?Afterthirty,fameemsstillbeyond

reach,yetbeingasrichasmybossatfortybecomesmynewdream.

点评：OneoftheimportantcriteriainaestheticjudgementforEnglishis

hypotaxis(形合),whileChineisalanguageofparataxis(意合);the

omparison:

燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，

有再开的时候。但是，聪明的，你告诉我，我们的日子为什么一去不

复返呢？

Swallowsmayhavegone,butthereisatimeofreturn;willowtrees

mayhavediedback,butthereisatimeofregreening;peachblossoms

mayhavefallen,,youthewi,tellme,

whyshouldourdaysleaveus,nevertoreturn?

10．二十岁的时候，拥挤在人头攒动的公共大巴上，吃着甜筒，挺开

心。三十岁之后，看见破旧肮脏的的士都心烦，拜托！油价一跌，

就去买车吧，一路开往小康。

10．SV:Attheageoftwenty,Ifelthappysqueezedinacrammedbus

haveturnedthirty,Ihatetolookatthe

dirty,oddess!Oncetheoilpricedeclines,I’’ll

buyacartomylfanddriveallthewaytoacomfortablelife.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,Ifeltsocontentedsandwichedinajammedbus,

hirty,eventhesightofashabbyandsordid(肮

脏的)!Whentheoilpricegoesdown,Iwillbuy

acar,drivealongtheroadofWell-To-Do(小康的).

点评：ImpersonalSubjectSentenceistheprideofEnglishlanguage,

invitingmuchaestheticvalue,whileChine,syntacticallyneglectingthe

employmentofsubject,employfewimpersonalsubjects.

11．二十岁的时候，打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地方，生

活在别处嘛。三十岁之后，我为了在这座城市买个满意又便宜的

房子跑断了双腿。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,IbettherewasfatchancethatIshould

rusticallylivemylifetimeinoneplace,asthesayinggoes,abeautifullife

irties,Isparenostrengthrunningforadecent

andinexpensivehouinthelocalcity.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,IbetthatIwouldneverresideinonecitythe

restofmylife.I’hirty,Iranmy

feetoffarchingforanapartment,satisfyingandcheap.

点评：Awaytoachieveend-weight:after-positionadjectives

Forexample:Hecomesintothelightofevery-daylikeagreat

leviathan(《圣经》中象征邪恶的)海中怪兽,巨物)ofthedeep,breaking

thesmoothsurfaceofacceptedthings,gay,rious,andsportive.

12．二十岁的时候，看小说专挑和爱情有关的情节看。三十岁之后，

我在聊天室里的代号叫“不谈爱情”。

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Ionlyreadparagraphsaboutliveinreading

geof30,mynamewas“nospeakinglove”inchat-room

ontheInternet.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,whilereadinganovel,Iabandonedmylfto

hirty,Idubbedmylf

as“NoMentionofLove.”intheInternetchat-room

点评：Carefulhandlingofregisterrecruitinvitesmoreaesthetic

appreciation.

13．二十岁的时候，一听到名人就激动不已，就欢呼雀跃，就奋不顾

身往前冲。三十岁之后，一听到名人就若有所失，就心烦意乱，

就怒火中烧，就„„不知道什么滋味，特别是年轻的，漂亮的，

女的名人。

SV:WhenIwastwenty,hearingthenameofthefamousman,Iwouldbe

soexitedthatIcouldalmostjumpupwithcheeranddashedahead

hirty,Iwasindifferent,annoyed,flewinto

atemperandIhadnofeelingtohearthenameofthefamousman,

particularlyofthofamous,youngandprettyfemaleswhowereyoung

andpretty.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,uponhearingacelebrity,Iwouldrushforward,

hot-blooded,hirty,uponhearingthenamesof

celebrities,Ifeellost,vexed(恼怒)andburningwithanger,especially

thenamesofthofamousfemales,whoareyoungandpretty.

点评：汉语：暗示/含蓄/以达意为主/文化：模糊朦胧—》以神驭形—》

衔生出写意、意境、联想、意合和文采。而英语：分析/语法是硬的/

准确而具体—》以形摄神，衔生出写实、逻辑、形合、推理和归纳

14．二十岁的时候，和某个人晚上一起去看了场电影，不经意中拉了

一次手，结果幸福了整整一个夏天。三十岁之后，坐在香格里拉

酒店的旋转餐厅陪客户吃自主助餐，在缓缓的转动之中，莫名其

妙地一阵空虚，突然间对一切感到索然无味„„

SV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwenttoeafilmonanightwithsomeone

whocasuallytookmyhandinhispalm,andthissweethappinesslingered

haveturnedthirty,Ifeelanachingvoidin

theslowmovementoftherotatingrestaurant,whereIdinewithmy

clientsuponabuffetmeal,inShangri-LaHotelandallofasuddenIlost

interestineverything.

RV:Attheageoftwenty,oneevening,

darkness,anincidentaltouchofhandsfilledmewithjoyallthatsummer.

Iamthirty,sittingtherotatingrestaurantofShangri-LaHotel,

lowrotating,an

indescribableemptiness,allofasudden,izesme,andIfindeverything

dullanddry.

点评：Aestheticjudgement,aestheticappreciationalonecontributeslittle

totheelegance,gracefulnessandreadability(可读性)oftheversions,

aesthetics-badapplication,withthemacrolinguisticdifferentiation

consciousness,canaccomplishmuch.