empathy

Version1HCACommunicationResourceOctober2010

BUILDINGBETTERRELATIONSHIPS–EMPATHICCOMMUNICATION

Empathyandsympathyareverydifferent,weoftensay“Iknowwhatyoumean”or“Iunderstand”to

demonstratewehaveexperiencedthesamefeelingsorsituation.

Inordertodemonstrateempathy,weneedtoshowweunderstandwhatthepersonisfeeling.

Thisreducestheneedforotherstorepeatthemlves,untiltheyfeelunderstood.

Empathiclisteningisabouthearingtheunspokenmessages:

Obrvations

Feelings

Needs

Requests

Becauempathyisfreefromjudgmentorbias,itcreatestrust,encourageshonestandopen

aluatewhatweheartohelpusmakedecisions;however,weshould

avoidallowinganypersonalviewsorbeliefstocreateacommunicationbarrier.

Listedbelowarebarriersthatpreventusreallyhearingothersmessageandmeaning

Ignoring-physicallyprentbutmentallyabnt–oftenoccurswhenoutmindwanders

Pretending-verbalnods(yes;Ie;uh-uh)butmentallyabnt–thinkingwhattosaynext

Selectivelistening-deletingorignoringinformation,accordingtowhatweviewasimportant

WordAttentive-payingattentiontowords,butignoringtheemotionsandfeelings

Autobiographicallistening-judgmentsbadonourexperiencesorbeliefs

Evaluating–decidingifweagreeordisagreewiththeviews,opinionsorbeliefxpresd

Probing-questionsbadonourpersonalbeliefs,valuesoropinions

Advising-givingcounlbadonourownexperience

Interpreting-tryingtofigureoutmotives,badonourmotives

Hearingtheunspokenmessagesandacknowledginghowsomeonefeelsisthehallmarkofagood

„EmpathyFormula‟belowacknowledgesothersfeelingsanddemonstratesyou

understandthesituationandhowitmakesthemfeel.

Youfeel…………………………statethelevelandtypeofemotion

Becau.....................................summarizethecontentandmeaning

Forexample:yousoundreallyangry,becauyouhavenotbeenkeptinformedaboutthe

recentchanges,let‟sewhatwecandotominimithestressthismustbecausingyou.