criminal歌词

Hey,didyouguysknowthisyear'sthe40thanniversaryofHalloween?

Oh,nonn.

Halloweentraditions

datebacktotheCelticfestivalofSamhain.

AlthoughourcurrentHalloweencustoms

comefromtheeveningbeforeAllHallows'Day--

AllHallows'Eve--thus,Halloween.

ImeantthemovieHalloween.

Well,that'snotinterestingatall.

DidyouknowtheMichaelMyersmaskfromthefilm

wasactuallyaCaptainKirkmaskturnedinsideout?

Okay,nowit'sinteresting.

Areyouguysalldressingupforwork?

,

howoftendoyougettowearcostumestowork?

Saysthemanwithagiantbeltbuckleandadickey.

Hey,''sastyle.

It'satragedy.

Bernadette,whydon'twegettodressupatwork?

Weudto,butacoupleguysintheinfectiousdialab

wentaszombiesandittriggeredaquarantine.

TheCDCwassomad.

Hey,ifyoureallywanttodressup,wecouldthrowaparty.

Oh,thatwouldbefun.

Youknow,IudtothrowHalloweenpartiesallthetime

whenImovedintothebuilding.

Allthetime?Ionlyrememberbeinginvitedtoone.

Pleadon'tmakethisawkwardforme.

Okay,so,Fridaynight--

-Halloweenpartyhere.-Okay.

'twait.

Whatareyougoingas?

Idon'twanttoruinthesurpri.

You'arning:

it'sprettyscary.

-Isitabird?-No.

-Isitadog?No.-

Oh,IthinkI'llbefine,then.

Hello.

Hello.

IeyouaredresdasDocBrownfromBacktotheFuture.

MayIassumethatAmyisgoingashiswife,ClaraClayton,

fromBacktotheFuturePartIII?

Sheis.

Didyoudosomethingdifferenttoyourhair?

Yes.

Lookinggood.

Oh,InspectorGadget.

AndIwanttosay

SupremeCourtJusticeRuthBaderGinsburg.

Soclo.

KoothBaderGinsburg.

TheNotoriousKBG.

That'sveryclever.

Sustained.

Areyougonnadressindraginfrontofyourfiancee?

nocretsfromeachother.

Well,exceptforthefactthatI-Icrochetedthismylf.

Hey,Sheldon.

-Hello.-Hello.

Oh,myGod,

youlookamazing.

Ifindyouguiltyofmurder,

becauyouarekillingit.

Well,technically,

theSupremeCourtwouldn'tdetermineadefendant's

guiltorinnocenceinacriminalmatter.

Theycouldonlyreverorrevampajury'sconviction

badonaconstitutionalorstatutoryissue.

Whyareyoulaughing?

Hisstatementwasfactuallycorrect.

You'resittinginmyspot.

Youdon'thaveaspot.

-Whatiswrongwithyoutoday?-Maybehe'scranky

becauhe'soffhisbathroomschedule.

Well,Icanunderstandhowthatwouldmakesomeoneirritable.

Interestingfact:"Irritable"comesfromtheLatin,

"Susceptibletoanger."

JustbecauIudaword

doesn'tmeanIwantittymology.

Interestingfact:"Etymology"

comesfromtheGreekword...

.

Andwhyareyoutwolaughing?

Sheldon,he'sbeingyou.

He'sdresdasyouforHalloween.

Soyou'renotlaughingathim.

You'relaughingatme.

We'renotlaughingatyou.

We'relaughingwithyou.

ButI'mnotlaughing.

Thenthefirstone.

Readytogo?

Hey,whyaren'tyouinyourcostume?

Ijustdidn'tfeellikeit.

YougetthatI'mwearingacortbecauofyou,

notbecauI'mtiredofbreathing?

Amy,doyouthinkI'malwayscorrectingotherpeople?

No,,justlastweek,

Pennyendedantencewithapreposition.

-Youdidn'tevenmentionit.-True.

IjustwaiteduntilIgothomeandscreamedintoapillow.

Issomethingbotheringyou?

Howarddresdupasmeandimitatedme,

andeveryonelaughed.

,thatmusthavefeltterrible.

realized

myfriendsviewedmeasanobjectofridicule.

Oh,Idon'tthinkthat'strue.

Theylaughed,Amy.

heinstructiveway

Ilaughatthemwhenthey'rebeingstupid.

Hey,!

.

Sorry,you'renotwearingacostume.

Yeah,Iam.I'mapharmaceuticalsalesrep.

I'mgonnaneedmore.

Okay,failedactresswhotradedconstantrejection

foraChristmasbonusandadentalplan?

.

Iwill.

So,whatareyouwearingtotheparty?

Sexycat?Sexynur?Sexyzombie?

Whydogirls'costumeshavetobexy

butguys'costumesdon't?

Saythatagainwiththishelicopteronmyhead.

Verycute.

Hey,doyourememberwhathappened

atthatfirstHalloweenpartythatyouinvitedmeto?

WhenIthrewupinthepumpkin?

Morememorablethanthat.

Really?Thatwasprettyimpressive.

Wehadourfirstkiss.

Onthisverycouch.

No,no,ourfirstkisswasatyourbirthday.

Remember?Ithrewyouaparty,

youdidn'tmakeit,andIfeltbadforyou.

No,no,itwasonHalloween,

andyoufeltbadforme.

Ifwe'regonnagothrougheveryparty

whereIfeltbadforyou,we'regonnabehereawhile.

Nevermind.

What?You'renotmadatme,areyou?

not.

No,wejustrememberdifferentthingsfromthatparty.

Irememberfallinginlove,

andyouremembervomitinginapumpkin.

Iwas,like,fourfeetaway.

Peoplecheered.

-Hereyougo.-Thanks.

So,didyoueHoward'scostume?

Seeit?ilarious.

Well,Sheldondidn'tthinkso,andneitherdidI.

Oh,llingoodfun.

Well,I'msureitwas,butSheldon'sfeelingsgothurt.

M-MaybeHowardcouldapologize?

You'rekidding,right?

Sheldondidn'tapologize

whenhesaidmybabylookedlikeWinstonChurchill.

HelovesChurchill.

Yoursonshouldtakethatasacompliment.

Hesaiditaboutmydaughter.

Well,thisisn'taboutSheldon.

ThisisaboutHoward.

IthinkitisaboutSheldon.

HowmanytimeshashemadefunofHowardforbeinganengineer?

GoingtoMIT?Hismagic?

Sheldondoesn'tmakefunofhismagic.

Well,'sstupid.

Anyway,thepointis,

Sheldonshouldn'tdishitoutifhecan'ttakeit.

IthinkthepointisthatHowardoweshimanapology.

Yeah,well,Ithinkthepointis

ifSheldonhasaproblemwithHoward,

Sheldonshouldtakeitupwithhim.

Mama.

Now,ifyou'llexcume,

theprimeministerofEnglandneedsherdiaperchanged.

Oh,that'sgreat.

He'saSupremeCourtjustice,

andyou'tution.

rpretsme.

Andguesswhat'sunderneaththis?

TheBillofTights.

Smart,funny,gorgeous--areweamatchorwhat?

Hey,Bert,whatareyoudresdas?

饰演伯纳黛特的演员身高1米5

I'llgiveyouahint.

Myworkinismicrefractionmeasurementsand...

Hey,Stuart,whatareyoudresdas?

I'mabutterfly.

DidyoustealthofromHalley's"Let'spretend"box?

I'mgonnaputthemback.

Allright,I'lltellyou.

I'mMaurice"Doc"Ewing,winnerofthe1960VetlenPrize,

generallyregardedastheNobelPrizeofgeology.

Oh,eit.

AskmehowIdied.

Spoileralert:brainhemorrhage.

Well,Gorblimey.

Youlooklikeathousandtuppence.

Don'the,MaryPoppins?

她常唱的歌曲《喂小鸟》里有句歌词是"把便士装进袋子"

Areyougonnatalklikethatallnight?

Jiffwillikers,Iam.

Isn'thecute?

He'sgonnagetaspoonfulofsugarlater.

AndI's'chimney.

So,hereweare.

couch.

Doesitringanybells?

Really?We'restilldoingthis?

I'mjustsurpridyoudon'trememberourfirstkiss.

nHalloween.

Areyouagreeingjusttoshutmeup?

Yougotanotherway?I'mallears.

Really?Anarrangedmarriage?

owitsounds.

Itsoundsawesome.

IsthatjustanIndianthing,

orcanIgetapieceofthat?

Youknowthewomanhasachoice,right?

There'salwaysacatch.

HappyHalloween.

Whowantstoeamagictrick?

Oh,that'.

Ha!They'reyou.

Whatdoyouthinkyou'redoing?

Ithoughtitwasclear.

I'mbeingunnecessarilyhurtfulbutwithasweetvoice.

AndIdon'tunderstandwhat'sgoingon

becauIwenttoMIT.

Okay,guys,Ithinkthat'nough.

Holdon.I'mthejudgehere,

andI'mgoingtoallowit.

Raj,takeabreak.

Hey,freespeech.

Rightbacktheresomewhere.

Youknowwhat,guys?

don'tyougoback

toyourapartmentandputonyourothercostumes.

Oh,butit'ssofaraway,

andIhavesuchteeny,tinylegs.

Really?Ourbodies?Isthatwherewe'regoing,Amy?

What'swrongwithmybody?

Well,forstarters,youhaveaquarterinyourno.

Notnow,Sheldon.

Idon'tgetinvitedtoalotofparties.

Isthisagoodone?

Oh,yeah.

Didthatguacamoletasteweirdtoyou?

Tastedweirdtome.

Can'tbelieveAmydidthat.

Oh,ughtitwasfunny

whenIdresdupasSheldon.

Thatwastotallydifferent.

-How?-Thatdidn'thurtmyfeelings.

Well,forwhatit'sworth,

Ididn'tthinkitwasaverygoodimpressionofyou.

Really?Youdon'tthinkIhaveanannoyinghigh-pitchedvoice?

No,notatall.

Infact,Ifindyourvoicequitemelodious.

don'tthink

I'munnecessarilyhurtful?

What?I'msorry.

I-Icouldn'eardthemusic.

Well,peoplecame,theyate,

theyvowedtoneverspeaktoeachotheragain.

Ithinkitwasasuccessfulparty.

'msorryaboutearlier.

Iknowitdoesn'tmatter.

No,itdoesmatter.

Okay?Youwereright.

ItwasHalloween.

Iwasdresdasacat,youwereahobbit.

Itwasrightthereonthatcouch.

Whydidn'tyoujustsaythat?

BecauIalwayshatedthatwasourfirstkiss.

Iwasdrunk,andIwasstillwithKurt,

andIwasusingyoutomakemylffeelbetter.

I...justwantedourfirstkisstomeansomething.

That'swhyIsaiditwastheoneonyourbirthday.

Ilikethat.

We'llmakethatourofficialfirstkiss.

Thankyou.

Thatwasbeautiful.

Whatareyoustilldoinghere?

Iwasinthebathroom.

Guacamoledidn'tagreewithme.

Well,sinceyou'rehere,youcanhelpuscleanup.

-Willyoutakethisout,plea?-Sure.

Thankyou.

It'oumindifIcrashedheretonight?

Youarealwayswelcomehere.

Thankyou.

Wherewerewe?

IthinkHowardhurtingmyfeelingshasinsomeways

mademeabetterperson.

Lookatyou,improvingonperfection.

Howso?

AsyouwereeatingthatDanish,

IwantedtopointoutthattheDanishisn'tDanishatall.

ItwasimportedbyAustrianbakers

duringalabordisputeinthe1800s.

ButIchonotto,

becauIdidn'twanttobethekindoffella

whofoistsunwantedfactsaboutEuropeanpastries

ontheunwilling.

That'sactuallyinteresting.

'llneverknow.

Hey,guys,Ineedyourhelp.

Bernadette'sstillprettyuptaboutyourcostumes.

She'supt?

ThopantsIworetomakefunofyouweresotight,

Iriskedatesticularhernia.

Anyway,

ifyouguyscouldapologize,it'dbeabighelp.

Oh,we'dbehappytoapologizetoher

assoonassheapologizestome

fornotmakingyouapologizetoSheldon.

Ididn'tfollowthat,

but,then,betweenmywifeandthatguacamole,

Ididn'tgetalotofsleeplastnight.

Don'tyouthinkit'sunreasonable

forhertoaskustodosomethingsherefudtodo?

canyoustopby?

Idon''sunreasonable,

whyshouldwedoit?

Okay,howaboutthis?YouknowinStarWars

whenR2andChewbaccawereplayingholochess?

Really?StarWars?

Amy,letthemanspeak.

Well,Chewbaccawaslosingandgettingangryand...

sayingweshouldlettheWookieewin?

,that'smywifeyou'retalkingabout.

Butyes,lettheWookieewin.

Hello,Bernadette.

Wait,didyoujustwalkintomyhou?

No,Howardletmein.

Whereishe?

Oh,hegotinhiscaranddroveaway.

Isthatwatermelonforanybody?

-It'sforHalley.-Isshegonnaeatallofit?

God,nowondershelookslikeChurchill.

Whatdoyouwant,Sheldon?

Howardsaidyourfeelingswerehurt.

Well,Howard'swrong.

Idon'tcareifsomeonemakesfunofme.

Allright.

ApparentlyIcameallthiswayfornothing.

UnlessHalleywantstosharethatwatermelon?

YouthinkAmy'sthefirstpersontomakefunofme

forhavingasqueakyvoice?

Doyou?

Ifeellikemychanceatwatermelon

isdanglingbyathread.

She''sbeenhappeningmywholelife.

And-andshecalledmeoutforbeingmean?

Well,I'vehadtobemean.

It'shardtobetakenriously

whenyou'realwaysthesmallestpersonintheroom.

Iknowthat.

IwasinhighschoolwhenIwasnineyearsold.

Itriedtotelltheotherkids

thatalthoughmyphysicalstaturewassmall,

myintellectualstaturetoweredoverthem.

Thatonlyemedtomakethingswor.

ThekidscalledmeBernadettethemarionette.

Becauyou''sfunny.

No,it'snot.

Well,peopleudtocallmeegghead

'cautherewereeggsonmyhead.

'Cautheythrewthematme.

That'sterrible.

Onetimemybrothersmademebreathehelium.

Itriedtocallforhelp,

buttheonlyonewhocouldhearmewasthedog.

That'salsoterrible.

Mygoodness,youhadtoliveinahouwithadog.

Iguesswebothhadtoputupwithalotofcrapfrompeople.

Isuppowehave.

MaybeyouandIaremorealikethanwethought.

Maybeweare.

AlthoughI'mexceptionallytall,andyou'reexceptionally...

-Sheldon.-Youdidn'tevenletmefinish.

-.-Short.

Sheldon,yousureyou'rereadyforthis?

Thismovie'sprettyscary.

Plea.I'Icanhandleit.

That'swhatyousaidaboutthebutterflypavilionatthezoo.

petthatgoat,

Ifeltlikeagladiator.

Okay,lightson,orlightsoff?

'mgonnadothis,Iwanttodoitright.

Whatyouguysthinkyou'redoing?

We'reshowingSheldonTheHalloween.

Absolutlynot!

Sheldon,comehome.

ButIreallywannawatchit.

Iknowyoudo,butI'mforbiddingit.

uys.

-Whattookyousolong?-I'msorry,Ijustgotyourtext!