英文剧本

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了

服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！

A:Watchout!Yourthumbsinmysoup!

B:Don'tworrySirit'snotthathot!

一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”

“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”

Awaiterbringsthecustomerthesteakheorderedwithhisthumboverthe

meat.

A:Areyoucrazy?(yelledthecustomer),withyourhandonmysteak?

(Whatanswersthewaiter)Youwantittofallontheflooragain?

服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。

第一个顾客：我要茶

第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！

服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？

B:(Waiter:)Teaorcoffeegentlemen?

A:I'llhavetea.

C:(2ndcustomer:)Metoo-andbesuretheglassisclean!

(Waiterexitsreturns)

B:(Waiter:)neaskedforthecleanglass?

创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。

服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？

看起来象是在仰泳，

A:Waiterwhat'sthisflydoinginmysoup?

Umlookstometobebackstrokesir...

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。

A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!

B:Don'tworrysirthespideronthebreadrollwillget'em.

服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。

A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!

C:Nosirthat'sacockroachtheflyisonyoursteak.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。

A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!

B:Keepitdownsirorthey'llallbewantingone.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。

A:Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!

C:ItsOKSirthere'snoextracharge!

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。

A:Waiterthereisaflyinmysoup!

B:SorrysirmaybeI'veforgottenitwhenIremovedtheotherthree.

服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！

是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。

A:Waiterthere'sadeadflyinmysoup!

C:Yessirit'sthehotwaterthatkillsthem.

话剧前半部分是荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本

（Introduction）：Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountry

thereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazy

kewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwasnttokillking

ofQing,“Yingzheng”.anttoknowwhat

happenedatthattime?Okay,I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：

Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(画

外音：It’syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高兴状)Thankumirror!（面对观众）

I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanin

gZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirror

canIdo?(向幕里大叫)Where

ismyminister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬):Honey,Iamcoming.

太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymost

beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrince

Dan”!

阿三：Sure,honey!indaherotokill

YingZheng~~~

（作杀状）太子：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthis

century?Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，

最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Goodidea!Butwhoisthe

rightcandidate?

阿三：iss

LiMoChou,owtheywillPKfortheNO1killer

oftheworld.

太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?

阿三：II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are

youLimochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK.I’mJingke,youknow,Iwillletyou

knowIamthekingofthekillers’world.李莫愁Areyouchallengingme?

荆轲Offcour!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Comeon!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在

江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地

荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：Whathappened?Whyaren’tyouhurt?荆轲:Wedon't

'twe?Dowe?（赢一个人需要理由

么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Mommaalwayssaid:"Lifeislikeabox

ofchocolates,erknowwhatyou'regonnaget."Igotit,

Mommaisright.

荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?

荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemean

innovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?

荆柯：Sure!太子丹：Howareyou?

羊肉串和纳税人（英文小品）

Characters:

,Xiaofu,Dabao

:sanevident

changeabouttherelationshipbetweenthetaxcollectorandtaxpayerin

,thetaxcollector,Xiaofu,andthetaxpayerDabao,

st

Acthappenedin1980s.

ActI

(inBazaarofBeijing,sanlihe,1980s)

Dabao:Yangrouchuan,yangrouchuan,eatenone,wantnine,eatenone,want

nine.

Hi,Takemyyangrouchuan.(slipped,takeitup,)

Xiaofu:Tax!Paythetax!

Dabao:(changefaces)

Taxi?Whereisthetaxi?Here’snotaxi.

Xiaofu:Tax!T---A---X!

Dabao:What’sthetax?Ijustknowtaxi!Doyouwantmetocallataxi

foryou?

Taxi----!Taxi----!

Xiaofu:Enough!Areyouthevendor?

Dabao:No,No,No,no!I'dorhasgonetothe

toilet.

Xiaofu:Notthevendor?Impossible!you'vebeenherefor2hours.

Dabao:Really?(Xiaofu:Yes,ofcour.)

Howdoyouknowit?

Xiaofu:ThewindowofmyofficeisopentohereandI'vebeenlooking

atyoufortwohours.

Dabao:It’sabigbug!

Xiaofu:’twastemytime!Pleapaythetax----10Yuan!

Dabao:10yuan?!stearned20Yuanoneday!5Yuan,ok?

Xiaofu:Don'tcheatme,you'vesoldmorethan2hundredones.

Dabao:6yuan,mydearsisiter.

7Yuan,mylovelybeauty.

Dabao:Notforyou,notforme,let'ssplitthedifference.8yuan,ok?

Xiaofu:(lookingaround)Allright,eceipt.

(Dabaopayed8yuanandXiaofuleft)

Dabao:Whatasmartwoman!Badluck!I’ochangemy

place.

HopeIwouldnotmeetheranymore!Let’sgo!

ActII

:adbeenmarching

inthewayofthemarketeconomyfortwentyyearsmore,inthenewera

ofbuildingthewell-offsocietyinanall-roundway,howdothevendor

regardtaxasandhowisthetaxcollected?Thescenewilltellyou.

Let’njoyit!

(Inthemarket;Dabaoinwhiteclothes,aboardwith"NOSARS")

Dabao::Yangrouchuan,ne,ne,want

nine.

Xiaofu:Hi,

Dabao:Hi.

Two:Whatafamiliarface.

Two:It’syou!

Dabao:10yearspast,youareastillataxcollector.

Xiaofu:10yearspast,youstillllYangrouchuan.

Howisyourbusiness?

Dabao:EverythingisOK!

10yearspast,youarestillbeautifulladyinSanliheofBeijing.

Xiaofu:10yearspast,youandyourYangrouchuanlookmorecleanthan20

yearsbefore.

Dabao:,nodirtiness;Servepeople,rveme.

Xiaofu:Great!Haveyou……

Dabao:Married?I‘mnotmarried;I’mstillsingle.

Xiaofu:Haveyouclaimedyourtaxthismonth?

Dabao:What?Taxi?Oh,tax!dpaythetaxof50Yuan

thismonthandIhaveclaimedatthebeginofthismonth.

Xioafu:Yourreceipt,plea.

Dabao:(showsthereceipt)

Hereyouare,Ihavepaidmytaxinthetaxrvicecenterbycomputer.

Xiaofu:Great!Whatagoodtaxpayeryouare.

Dabao:duty.I’mproudofmylftopaythetaxfor

ourcountry.

Xiaofu:Yeah!Thetaxyoupaidisashareofourcountry’conomy,and

youdoalotforOlympicsofBeijing!

Dabao:Let’sdoittogether!.It’ssaidthat,Don'taskwhatyour

ke

me,llYangrouchuan,andpaytheTaxfortenyearsmore.

Xiaofu:You'retheloveliestpeopleinnewcentury!

Dabao:Thankyou!Andyou'retheloveliesttaxcollectorinnewera!

X:Excume,-bye.

D:Amoment,areyoufreetomorrowevening?CouldIhaveadinnerwith

you?

Xiaofu:Well,mayIhavethecompanyofmyhusband?

Dabao:No,no,noproblem.6o’clockintheevening,Beichuanyuan,ok?

Xiaofu:ogohomenow.(leaves)

Dabao,Seeyoutomorrow.

Dabao:Hopetoeyoueveryday.

TheEnd

情景剧

第一幕：Mary，Jane，andLily在放学路上讨论下周是Linda的生日，讨论送什

么礼物给她。A是Mary，B是Jane，C是Lily，D是Linda。

A:Hey,Linda’’sthinkaboutthegifts.

B:Whataboutahat?

A:oesn’thaveahat.

C:Emm...Howaboutgloves?It’ssocold（寒冷）now.

B:ButLindahasgloves（手套）.

C:’reright.

A:uyahatforher.

C:Let’sgotoclothesshoptomorrow（明天）.

第二幕：Mary和Jane相约第二天去商店给Linda买礼物，发生在衣服店的情景。

W:CanIhelpyou?

A:Yes,hatforschool.

W:lordoyouwant?

A:Yelloworred?

W:Whataboutthisone?

B:hisit?

W:It’stwentyyuan.

A,B:We’lltakeit.

B:Howmuchistheredskirt?

A:’ssobeautiful.(漂亮的）

W:It’s10dollars.

B:I’lltakeit.

W:Hereyouare.

A,B:Thankyou.

W:You’rewelcome.

第三幕：Linda准备她的生日聚会上用水果沙拉招待她的朋友们，她去水果店里

买了一些水果。

W:CanIhelpyou?

D:Yes,omefruit.

W:,bananas,pears,strawberriesandsoon（等等）.How

manydoyouwant?

D:Iwanteightapples,tenbananasandsomestrawberries.

W:（明白了）.

D:Howmucharethey?

W:uare.

D:Thankyou.

W:You’rewelcome.

第四幕：Linda的生日聚会上，朋友们一起来给她庆祝。

A：Linda，u（给你）.

D:Thankyou.(拆开礼物）.tverymuch.

B:Linda,happybirthdaytoyou.

D:heredskirt.

ABC一起为Linda唱生日歌。

Linda许愿：

Thefirstwish（愿望）:Ihope（希望）myfamiliesarehealthy.

Thecondwish:Wearegoodfriendsforever（永远）.

Thethirdwish:Goodgoodstudy,daydayup.

改编自《两小儿辩日》

(J:JackP:PetterS:stranger)

独白：endsmeeteachother.

J:Hi,nicetoeyou,Petter.

P:Nicetoeyou,`sagoodday,isn`tit?

J:Yeah,Ilikesunnydays.

P:Look,what`sthis?

J:Oh,it``s100dollar.

P:Yes,shouldwedotothemoney?Giveittounclepolice?

J:Idon`tisinmy

hand,so…

P:No,Idon`Ifinditfirst,Iamthepersonthatwho

shouldhavethemoney.

J:`tweaskhimtojudgeitforus.

P:Iagree.

J:Hello,couldyoupleadousafavour?

S:`tup?

J:Hereisthething,……

S:`…OK,Igetan

`llgiveyouonequestionandtheonewhocangivethecorrect

youthink?

P:Whynot.

J:Letdoit.

S:thesun,it`sbeautiful

isn`tit?Andit`estioniswhenisthesun

fartherawayfromus,inthemorningoratnoon?Youfirst.

P:It`ne,inthemorningthesunisverybigandat

,theanswerisatnoon

J:nfeel,in

themorningit`scoolandatnoonit`becauthesun

isfartherawayfromusatmorning.

争吵

S：teroffact,eachofyouranswerisincorrect.I

thinktherangeisthesame.

P:Areyoucrazy?Letmetellyousomething?(到一边，拿出50美元)If

youmakemewin,it`syours.

S:(thinkforawhile).It`sadeal.(回到原地)Iamsorry,Imadeamistake

justnow.I`werisatnoon.

J:What?Weneedtotalk.(拉路人到一边)Ididnotcatchyourmean

ousayitagain?

S:rewrong.

J:(打过路人)Didyouchangeyourmind?

S:No…sly,hewaswrong.

(一起回去)

P：What`swrongwithyourface?

J:清嗓子

S:Ijustfalloverbyaccident,`sgobacktothe

question,

werewrong.

J:(Jack从petter手中抢过钱)Thenit`smine.(kissit)It`snicetomeet

you,e.

P:What?Don`tgo.(jack下)What`swrongwithyou?

S:I`msorry,Ijust…..

J:Givememymoney,now.

(路人拿出钱，jack一把抢过来，生气地走了)

S：（jack走后，路人掏掏口袋发现）

memymoney.(追jack)

完

Onthewaytoschool路上

A&B:Goodmorning,CandD.晚上好。

C&D:you?晚上好,你们怎么样？

A&B:ou我们很好。谢谢。

A：B,whatdoyoulike?你喜欢什么？

B：Ilikedancinganddrawing.我喜欢跳舞和画画。

Whataboutyou？你呢？

A：Ilikeswimminganddancing.我喜欢游泳和跳舞

D：Ilikeswimmingtoo！我也喜欢游泳

C：Oh，Dear！Iforgettotakemypencil！（焦虑）

天哪!我忘了拿我的铅笔了

Iwanttogohome！我想回家！

All：It’ighto’’stoolate!（提醒）

八点钟了。太迟了！

D：Don’veyouone.别担心。我

有7支铅笔。我能给你一只。

A：veyouonetoo.

别担心。我有6支铅笔。我也能给你一只。

B：veyouonetoo.

别担心。我有5支铅笔。我也能给你一只。

C：ve3pencils.

谢谢大家。现在我有3支铅笔了。

Iwillreturnthemtoyouafterschool.

我将会放学后归还。