生活大爆炸第十季

It'nkwegottime

torunsomemoresimulationsonthecoolingsystem?

Sure,I'mstillfiguringoutthethermoacousticexpander.

Oh,whileyoudothatIamgoingto

pumpcerebralspinalfluidthroughmybraincells

toremovethemetabolicby-productsoftheday'sthoughts.

What?

It'scalledsleepandit'smybedtime.

Nighty-night,y'all.

Hey,hey,hey,you'renotgoinganywhere.

WeonlyhavetwomonthstodeliverthistotheAirForce

becauofyou.

Iknow,Iwasthere.

Well,wakeup!

We'regonnaputinalotoflatenights.

Howlate?

Well,Idon'tknow,midnight,1:00.

Oneo'clock?

I'mnotaraccoon.

Ifyou'retired,havesomecoffee.

What?Youhavesomecoffee.

Iamhavingcoffee!

-Andlookhowirritableit'smakingyou!-Guys!

We'renotgonnagetanythingdoneifwestartfighting.

Now,canyoupleatrytosoldierthrough?

Fine.

Idon'tthinkIcangomuchlonger.

It'sbeenthreeandahalfminutes,wakeup!

Ihadabaddreamthatmybestfriendbecameatyrant

andforcedmetostayupallnighttowork.

Oh,IhadagooddreamthatwhenIcarriedyoutobed,

IletyourheadhitthewallandIlaughed.

Goodmorning.

Whatisthis?

Well,wedidn'teyoulastnight,

we'renotgonnaeyoutoday,

sowethoughtwecouldhavebreakfasttogether.

Oh,thatissonice.

Ow,itdoeshurt!

So,whatareyouguysgonnadotoday?

Well,Sheldonwassuppodtogotothispartywithmethisafternoon,

butIdon'tthinkthat'shappening.

Oh,thatwasneverhappening.

Oh,I'llgo.

Ilikeaparty.

Well,tobehonest,it'snotlikea"party"party,

it'smorelikeagathering

wherescientistsofdifferentdisciplinesgettogether

tosharetheirwork

andkeepcurrentonwhat'sgoingoninotherfields.

Idon'tknowwhyIcalleditaparty,sorry.

It'sokay,I'llstillgo.

Youdon'tthinkyou'llbebored?

Oh,I'llhavesomewine

andlistentopeoplegoonaboutcrapIdon'tunderstand.

Imean,howisitanydifferentthaneverysingledayofmylife?

Iwon'tbethere.

Lookatthat,itisaparty.

SorryIhavetoworkallweekend.

It'sokay.

Thanksagainforbreakfast.

Well,Ididn'tgettoeyoulastnight.

ItwastheleastIcoulddo.

Youshouldn'thavemadethealarmcodehisbirthday.

So,whatshouldwedotoday?

Oh,Iappreciateit,

butyoudon'thavetospendyourdayoffwithme.

Well,Idon'tmind.

Oh,youwantgotothemallandlookatbabystuff?

Notreally.

Oh,comeon,wecouldshareapretzel

andgetsidewaysglancesfromracistoldladies.

IgetenoughofthatwhenItakeHoward

tomygrandmother'sforChristmas.

Oh,Iknow,

whydon'twegetstartedonclearingoutthebaby'sroom?

Isn'titalittleearlyforthat?

Youhavetogettoiteventually.

Oh,there'ssomuchjunkinthere,it'mbarrassing.

Howcanyoubeembarrasdaroundme?

I'mgonnabeintheroomwithyouwhenyougivebirth.

Idon'tthinkyouare.

Youdidn'tthinkIwasgonnabeinyourkitchenthismorning,

yethereIam.

Hey,kid.

Huh,what?

Youlooktired.

Whydon'tyouhaveanenergydrink?

Everyone'sdoingit.

Oh,no,thankyou,thohavecaffeineinthem.

Oh,sorry,Ithoughtyouwerecool.

Iamcool.

ThisisYoo-hoo,

chocolatemilk'sdeliciouswaterycousin.

Allright.

Butifyoueverwanttofeellikeyouhavesuperpowers,

tryoneofthe.

Superheroestakeperformance-enhancingchemicals?

Youbet.

YouknowwhyHulkissostrong?

Steroids.

YouknowwhyBatmanwandersaroundatnight

gettingintofights?

Scotch.

Iamfacingagreatdealofwork.

AndIdolikethingsbetterwhenfamouspeoplealsolikethem.

Here.

It'sonthehou.

Thefirstone'sfree?

Flash,howdoyoustayinbusiness?

Youwanttoknowmycret?

IboughtstockinMarvel.

IboughtstockinMarvel.

Hi,Bert.

Thisismyfriend,Penny.

-Hi.-Hey,comeonin.

I'llgonnagoturnonsomerockmusic.

That'sageologyjoke.

Bert'sageologist.

Andajoker.

Howearlyarewe?

Oh,actually,we'reanhourlate.

IsuddenlywishSheldonwashere.

Idon'tevenknowwheretobegin.

Well,inTheSoundofMusic,JulieAndrewssays,

Well,inTheSoundofMusic,JulieAndrewssays,

"Let'sstartattheverybeginning.

Averygoodplacetostart."

Oh,Iwasgonnastartattheend.

ThankGodyou'rehere.

Well,Ithinkthefirstthingweshouldgetridofis

thattone.

Sorry.

Ishouldprobablykeepthisincawehaveagirl.

Oh,that'saniceone.

Wasityourswhenyouwerelittle?

Mydadbuiltitforme.

Wow,it'ssocute.

Thiswasthehusbandandthiswasthewife.

They'dgooutonadventurestogether.

Cruis,skiing,horbackriding.

Thatwasreallymejustducttapingthemtoourdog.

Oh,anddidtheyhavekids?

Theydid,

butthemommyanddaddydidn'tlikethem,

sotheyshippedthemofftoanorphanage

Imadeoutofashoebox.

Yeah,that'snotworrisomeatall.

Noteverygirldreamsaboutbeingamom.

Sometimesyouthinkyou'renevergonnahavekids

andonedayyouwakeupandyou'repregnant.

Anditdoesn'tmatterthatyourcareer'sgoinggreatrightnow

andthatyouandyourhusbandneverevengottogoanywhere

tapedtoadog!

Iskippedspinclassforthis.

Whyisittakinghimsolong

togetadrinkoutofavendingmachine?

Oh,it'scomplicated.

Hefindspushingthatlittledoor

andreachingupintothemachineuncomfortablyintimate.

Gentlemen,Iamreadytowork.

ToquoteTheMartian,"Let'ssciencethefecesoutofthis!"

That'sTheMartianthebookandTheMartianthemovie,

notMarvintheMartian.

AlthoughtoquoteMarvintheMartian,

"IclaimthisplanetinthenameofMars."

Areyouokay?

Oh,I'mfantastic,neverbeenbetter.

IhadmyfirstenergydrinkandIfeelgreat.

Hey,youguyswanttowrestle?

Wecandoarm,thumb,mud,sumo.

Nah,we'renotfatenough,orwearingdiapers.

Youwantedhimawake.

Soshouldwetalktoeachotherormingle?

Idon'tknowwhereeveryoneis.

Yeah,Imean,

Icouldehimeatingoneortwoguests,

butnotawholeparty.

Well,Iguessthisiskindofabust.

Youdon'thavetostay.

I'mgonnastartcleaningup.

Okay.

Ifeelsobadaboutleavinghimhere.

Oh,it'sfunny,Iwasjustthinkingthesamethingaboutyou.

Hey,listen,

couldyounotsayanythingaboutthis

tothepeopleattheuniversity?

Youknow,'cau...

you'reyouandI'mme,andit'skindofembarrassing.

Wait,whatdoyoumean"she'sher"?

Well,youknowhowAmy'sthecoolestgirloncampus,right?

-No.-No.

Ohyeah,everybodythinksso.

What?

Youtellmeaboutyourfootfungus,butthisisacret?

I'msureit'sjust'cauI'mdatingSheldon.

Mm,actually,IthinkSheldon'spopular

becauhe'sdatingyou.

NowSheldon'spopular?

Whatishappening?

Maybeweshouldbreakforlunch.

Whattimeisit?

Accordingtotheworld'sworstcuckooclock,it's2:00.

Myheadhurts

andI'mmoretiredthanever.

Whydon'tyoujustgohome?

No,Icandothis.

Ijust,Ijustneedanotherenergydrink.

Oh,no.

What?

Iwantanotherone.

So?

That'sacraving.

That'sasignofchemicaldependency.

Youonlyhadone.

No,Iknow,

butplentyofthingsareaddictiveafterasingleexposure.

Imean,crackcocaine,nicotine,Pringles.

Youknowonceonepopsonejustcan'tstop.

Youcan'tdevelopaproblemthatfast.

Youwanttobet?Oh,great,

nowI'maddictedtogambling.

Wecan'taffordtoloanymoretime.

Well,thisprobablywon'twork,buthasanyoneevertried

tojusthauloffandwhoopthecrazyoutofhim?

That'snothelpful.

It'sfuntothinkabout,butit'snothelpful.

Hey,Sheldon,weareonarioustimecrunch.

Wecan'tdothiswithoutyou.

Canyoupleapullittogether?

I',ofcour.

Thankyou.

Just,plea,bearwithme

ifIdisplaysymptomsofcaffeinewithdrawal.

Noworries.

Youguysstink.

Youguysstink.

SorryIflippedoutonyou.

Ithinkit'sjusthormones.

Ithinkyouweremeanbeforeyouwerepregnant,

butit'sfine.

So,uh,insteadofcleaningouttheroom,

whydon'twejustdecideonathemeforthenurry?

Doesitreallyneedone?

Ofcouritdoes.

Didn'tyourbabyroomhaveatheme?

Well,itdoubledasmydad'soffice,

andhewasacop,

soIguessthethemewasbloodyhomicidephotos.

sWinniethePooh.

Butanyway...

whydon'twejusttakeastepback

andstartwithacolor?

Right?Therearesomanyamazingones.

Red,blue,green,purple...

Areyoujustgonnanameallthecolors?

Well,notnow.

Idon'tcarewhatcolortheroomis.

Okay,well,I'mjusttryingtohelpyou.

Well,you'renot,sojustdropit!

I'n'tyoufollowingme?

Sorry!Sorry!

AndwhenAmystartedusingasolutionofchromicacid

andwhitevinegartocleanallherlabequipment,

allofasudden,everybodywasdoingit.

Youtrendtter!

Justtherightideaattherighttime.

Okay,okay,soAmy'scool,Sheldon'scool.

-TellmeaboutLeonard.-Who?

LeonardHofstadter.

Oh,he'sallright.

Apparentlyhetrickedsomehotgirlintomarryinghim.

That'sme,I'mher.

Youknow,hedidn'ttrickme.

Hejustworemedown.

Itmakesnyoutwoarefriends.

Imean,hotgirlsalwayssticktogether.

Andyouthoughtthiswasn'tgonnabeagreatparty.

Youknow,Ihadnoidea

Caltechixactlylikemyhighschool.

Well,it'snotexactlylikeit.

We'reallextremelysmart.

Wow...youpopulargirlsaremean.

I'tsome?

Uh,you'rereallygoingtohavecaffeineinfrontofme

whenI'mtryingtogetmylifebackontrack?

Uh,okay,let'spretendyoudohaveaproblem.

-Ido.-Youdon't.

-Yeah,butIdo.-No,youdon't!

Butlet'ssayyoudo.

Anddon'tsayyoudo,becauyoudon't!

Now,wouldn'tyouthinkthatthrowingyourlf

intoyourworkwouldbethebestwaytodealwithit?

-Withwhat?-Yourproblem.

IthoughtIdidn'thaveaproblem.

Thatwaspainfultowatch.

Sowherearewegoing?

Idon'tknow.

Okay.

HowThelmaandLouiofus.

HowThelmaandLouiofus.

Raj,whydon'tIcareaboutanything?

I'msorry?

It'smybaby.

I-Ishouldcareaboutnurriesandcolors,

andIdon't--what'swrongwithme?

Well,crime-scenephotosnearyourcribspringtomind.

Ikeepwaitingtofeelexcited,

butit'snothappening.

Whatifitneverhappens?

Bernadette,comeon,look,

you'reoverthinkingthis,okay?

You'regonnabeanamazingmom.

Evenifyoudon'tbelieveit,

Iknowyouhavematernalinstincts.

Once,Iwassuppodtobabysitmybrothers.

Ourneighborfoundthemnakedinthebackyardeatingcrickets.

Happyandwell-fed.

Youe,that'swhatI'mtakingfromthatstory.

Leonard,canIaskyouaquestion?

Isitabouttherotationalsymmetriesyoushouldbefiguringout

oryourfakecaffeineproblem?

Howard,canIaskyouaquestion?

No.

Allright,I'lljusttossthisouttotheroom.

Um,Iwasthinkingthatthebestway

tofightmyaddictionisbyweaningmylfoffinsteps.

Now,Icouldn'tfindacaffeinepatch,

butIdidfindwhatclaimstobe

amind-boostingcaffeinesuppository.

Yeah.

Youknow,theinterestingfactabouttherectum...

Sheldon!

Wearedealingwithanimpossibledeadline

fromtheAirForcebecauofyou.

Sohaveanenergydrink,don'thaveanenergydrink.

Ordersuppositoriesandshove'emwhereveryouwant,

Idon'tcare!

Youdon'tshovethem.

Theycomewithaneasy-glideapplicator.

tome.

Wecan'tdoanythinguntilyoudoyourpart.

Sogetupinfrontofthiswhiteboardanddoit!

-Ican't.-Yes,youcan.

No...

Ican'tfigureoutthemath.

I'vebeenrackingmybrainfordays,

andI'vegotnothing.

Seriously?

Ican'tdoit.

I'mnotassmartasIthinkIam.

I'allmyfault.

It'sokay,we'llfiguresomethingout.

Butwhatifwecan't?

It'llbefine.

You'lle.

Sheldon?

Buddy?

Whenthebabygetshere,

yougottateachmethat.

Thankyousomuch,sgreat.

Mypleasure.

Yougirlswanttotakehome

atwo-gallontubofpotatosalad?

Ithinkwe'regood.

Okay,well,thanksforcomingby.

You'renicepeople.

Well,,youknowwhat?

Wewillnevertakeyouforgranite.

Didyougetthat?Granite?

Alittlegeologyjoke.

Youneedtoleave.

I'minlovewithbothofyounow.

-Okay.-Bye.

Uh,pullover.

What?Why?Whoareyoucalling?

You'regonnaratmeouttoHoward,aren'tyou?

You'resuchasnitch,nowonderIdon'tlikeyou.

Whoa,I'mcallingmydad,okay?

He'sgotexperiencedealingwithpregnantladies

becauhe'sanOBGYN.

Andexperiencewithcrazyladies

becauofmymom.

Hello,Rajesh.

Areyoucallingtoaskformoney?

What?No.

Areyoucallingtoaskforthingsthatcostmoney?

No.

'sup?

Thisismyfriend,Bernadette.

She'spregnant,andshe'sabitworried,

soIthoughtmaybeyoucouldtalktoher.

emstobethetrouble?

Something'swrong.

Idon'tcareaboutanyofthebabystuff

everyothermomissointo.

Honestly,I'mnotevensureIlikebabies.

Look,somepeoplearebabypeople,

andsomepeoplearenotbabypeople.

Itdoesn'tmeanyouwon'tloveyourownbaby.

ButIthoughtI'dbemoreexcited.

Oh,beingexcitedisn'taguaranteeofanything.

Rajesh'smotherwasthrilledwhenshewaspregnantwithhim.

Afterhewasborn,shedotedonhiverymove.

Andyouknowwhathappened?

Hebrokeherheart,movedhalfwayaroundtheworld,

anddatesonlypoorwhitewomen.

Soyouneverknow.

etternow.

-Idon't!-Good.

Bernadette,Ihopeyouhaveadaughter.

Uh...Idon'tknowhowtosaythis.

Well,youcouldtrystartingwith"sir".

,sir.

Hesaidstartwithit,notendwithit.

Sir...

We'vehitabitofasnag.

We'realreadybehindschedule.

Thecomputationsrequiredto

overcomethedeployabilityissues

aremoresignificantthanwethought.

Iunderstandthatwe'reundercontract,

andIdon'tknowwhattheconquencesofviolatingthatare,

but,uh...we'renotgonnabeabletodeliver

inthetimewepromid.

Howlongdoyouneed?

We-We'rethinking...twoyears.

Allright.

That'sit?

You'reokaywiththat?

Youthinkyou'rethefirstgovernmentcontractor

whoisn'tgonnadeliverontime?

We'restillwaitingforabigspacelar

Reaganorderedtobeatthecommies.

Thanksforunderstanding,sir.

Yes,thankyousomuch.

We-Wereallyappreciateit.

Allright,pressure'soff

Wannaeamovie?

Popcorn'sonme.