alex trebek

RememberwhenIhadamonkey?

WhatwasIthinking?

Hey,so,what'swiththe20percenttip?DidIdosomethingwrong?

20percentisaprettygeneroustip.

Youknowwhat'smoregenerous?50percent!

-Youknowwhat'venmoregenerous?-Iewhereyou'regoing.

What'supwiththegreed?

I'msorry.

Ihavetogetnewheadshotsmade,andthey'rereallyexpensive.

I'mdownto,like,three.

Actually,two,becauoneofthemIblackenedsometeeth.

Why'dIdothat?

Isn'ttheresomethingyoucandotoearnextramoney?

Can'tyoupickupanextrashifthere?

Or,youknow,Iudtobegformoney.

Ithelpsifyou'vegotalittleofthisgoingon.

Wow!Istillhaveit.

Don'tyouhaveanauditiontoday?Maybeyou'llgetthatjob.

Waitaminute.

Iudtogetmedicalexperimentsdoneonme.

Finally,anexplanation.

Iudtogetpaidforallkindsofmedicalstuff.

Let'se...Well,Idon'twanttodonatespermagain.

Ireallypreferdoingthatatthehomeoffice.

Maybetheywantsomeofmybloodorspitorsomething,huh?

-Joey?-Yeah.

WhatdidItellyouabouttalkingwhileworking?

Doit?

Thatguy''scomplainedaboutyouthreetimes.

Now,wherewasl?

TheOneWithUnagi

33

Wewenttoalf-defenclasstoday.

Kickingaguyinthecrotchallmorningreallytakesitoutofyou.

Takesitoutofyou?

Nowwecankickanybody'sass.

Afteroneclass?Idon'tthinkso.

Youwanttoemelf-defendmylf?

Pretendyou'reapredator.

Goon,Idareyou!

Ofcouryoucandefendyourlffromanattackyouknowiscoming.

That'snotenough.

Look,Istudiedkarateforalongtime.

Andthere'saconceptyoushouldbefamiliarwith.

It'swhattheJapanecallunagi.

Isn'tthatakindofsushi?

No,it'saconcept.

Yeah,'sfreshwatereel.

Maybeitmeansthattoo.

Iwouldkillforasalmon-skinrollrightnow.

Fine,'tevencare.

Comeon,Ross,we'telluswhatitis.

Unagiisastateoftotalawareness.

Onlybyachievingtrueunagi...

canyoubepreparedforanydangerthatmaybefallyou.

Incasomeone'stryingtostealyourbamboosleepingmat...

oryourkettleoffish?

It'sonethingbeingpreparedforanattackagainsteachother.

'tknow..Surpri!

Youknewthatwascoming...

butthatdoesn'tmeanyouhaveunagi.

Ifwemaderervations,wecouldhaveunagiinahalf-hour.

-IsMonicahere?-No.

'tknowwhattogetforValentine'sDay.

Valentine'sDaywastwoweeksago,soIwouldn'tgetheracalendar.

Shewasworking,sowe'recelebratingtonight.

Whydon'tyoubookadayforbothofyouatthoromanticspas?

That'sactuallyagoodidea.

And,ofcour,crotchlesspanties.

Asappealingasthatsoundstoherboyfriend...

andherbrother...

Wepromidtomakeeachothergiftsthisyear.

-Ilovethat.-Youguys!

Youcan'tmakecrotchlesspanties?

Youtakescissorsandcut..

Okay,okay,okay.

Makingthingssoundssomuchfun.

Ithoughtsotoo,untilIpapier-machedoneofmyeyesshut.

Ilovepapier-mache!Whatdidyoumake?

Imadeaflar-lar-lar.

-Whatisthat?-Nothing!

So,whatareyougonnado?

HaveyoumadeanythingIcantakecreditfor?

Ihave,Ihave!Istartedmakinglittlesockbunnies!

Oh,forcryingoutloud!

mysock!

Nowit'syourlittlebunnyfriend.

Okay...

Thisactuallyisaflar-lar-lar.

CanIaskabouttheValentine'sDaygifts?

-Yeah.-Dowehavetomaketheentirething?

forgettomakeyours?

Ofcournot.

IjusthavetogototheplacewhereImadeitandpickitup.

Ican''llbethebestValentine'sDayever!

Ican'tbelieveit!Maketheprents!

-What?-Justsoexcitedtomaketheprents!

真是的

Hi,I'mJoeyTribbiani.

Withallduerespect,I'dliketodonatesomefluids.

We'reattheendofarearchcycleandnotlookingforapplicantsnow.

That'stoobad.I'vebeensavingup.

Yousurethere'snostudiesIcanparticipatein?

-Here'saschedule.-Thanks.

Thisonestartsnow.

'satwinstudy.

Butit's$2000!

Sorry.

Andthis?

"TestingtheEffectsofJoeyTribbianionAttractiveNurReceptionist."

'renotgood.

-Thatwasgood.-Yeah.

Danger!Danger!

Whatthehellwasthat?

Alessonintheimportanceofunagi.

You'reafreak!

Perhaps.

NowI'mcurious.

Atwhatpointduringthogirlishscreamswouldyouhavekickedmyass?

Allright,soweweren'tprepared!

I'msorryIhadtotakesuchdrasticmeasurestomakemypoint.

Ijustwantyoutobesafe.

Danger!

Ah-ha!

Unagi!

“选角经纪公司”

2000bucksisalotofmoney.

IwishIhadatwin.

WherecouldIfindsomeone...

wholookxactlylikeme?

Chandler.

Inditwasyou.

What?

Unagi.

I'malwaysaware.

Areyouawarethatunagiisaneel?

-What'sup?-Ican'tfigureoutwhattomakeMonica.

Whydon'tyoumakeheroneofyourlittlejokes?

I'aveanythinghomemade?

Youknowwhat?She'dlovethis.

It'tinthesixthgrade.

say,"Yourlovendsmetothemoon."

ExceptApollo8didn'tactuallylandonthemoon.

Youcansay,"Yourloveletsmeorbitthemoontwiceandreturnsafely."

Ican'tgivethistoher.

-Whynot?-Itsays"CaptainRoss"ontheside.

Anditsays"IhateMonica"onthebottom.

Danger!

Salmon-skinroll.

好…

Yes,honey,Imadeitmylf.

Ican''tdoit.

Amixedtape!Amixedtape!

Hi!Readytoexchangegifts?

-irst.-Okay,comehere.

Okay,it'snotwrappedbecauIjustfinishedit.

ButImadeyouatapeofwhatIthinkareallromanticsongs.

Whatagreatgift!

Is"TheWayYouLookTonight"onit?

We'llhavetolistenande.

Oh,Iloveit!Thankyousomuch.

Youreadytoopenyours?

It'sasockbunny.

RememberhowIcallyoubunny?

Notreally.

nttostartdoingitmore.

-That'swhatthisisabout.-Ie.

Phoebemakessockbunnies.

No,shedoesn'emakes,they'resockrabbits.

They',okay.

Ididn'tmakeit!

Iforgotabouttonightandthatwe'resuppodtomaketheprents.

It'sokay.

No,it'snotokay.

You'resoincredible.

Youwentthroughallthistimeandefforttomakethistape.

I'.

Iamgoingtocookyouanythingyouwantinhere.

AndI'mgoingtodoanythingyouwantinthere.

Well,Ididputalotofthoughtintothetape.

Youarewaytooyoungtohaveenthat.

Yourbirthday'sinamonthandahalf.

WhatifIforgettogetyouaprentforthattoo?

Youaretotallyandcompletely100percentforgiven.

We'vegottowashthat.

Rememberthatjacketyoulovedthatwastooexpensive?

Youhavedoneenough.

I'llwakeupearlyandgetit.

No,youdon't..Getitinblack,notbrown.

Yourcakeisready.

It'slikethatoldsaying,"Havex,eatsomecake."

Hey,,ttingasoda.

Whothehellareyou?

I'mJoey.

Howareyoudoing?

No!No!No!No!No!

Howyoudoing?

Howyoudoing?Damnit,Carl!Gowaitinthehall.

I'vegottoapologizeonbehalfofCarl.

WhothehellisCarl?

DidInotmention?

CarlisaguyIhiredtobemytwinforamedicalrearchproject.

Sometimesthegoodideasarerightinfrontofyou.

Itsoundscrazy,yproblemisCarl'sacting...

Theonlyproblem?

He'sthereasonIdidn'tgetthatbigcommercialacoupleofyearsago.

Weweresuppodtobebrothers,buthemesdup.

CanIgetapieceofthatcake?

Pizza!Welikepizza!Getout!

-PatSajak?-Yep.

-AlexTrebek?-Ofcour.

-ChuckWoolery?-Definitely.

Youwillnotfindasinglegame-showhostwhoassIcannotkick.

-Sayit!-Sayweareunagi!

It'snotsomethingyouare,it'ssomethingyouhave.

Sayit!

Icouldeasilygetoutofthis...

butthere'sachanceyoucouldgetvery,veryhurt!

Carl,we'ember,whatisthisnotgonnabe?

-AnotherMinuteMaidfiasco.-That'sright.

Andwhatareyounotgonnado?

-I'mnotgonnatalkbecau..-Damnit,Carl!

惦惦

CanIhavethenextone,plea?

Thankyou.

JoeyandTonyTribbiani.

That'sus.

Butthisisastudyforidenticaltwins.

That'sright.$2000.

Butyou'renotidenticaltwins.

Damnit,Carl!

Oh,mygoodGod.

Continuingthecountdownofyourfavoritemeals.

Tonight,numberthree:

Macaroniandcheewithcut-uphotdogs.

Look,etostopthisnow.

Iwill,butnottonight.

Fordinnermusic,Ithoughtwecouldlistentothattapethatyoumademe.

Oh,themixedtape.

"TheWayYouLookTonight"isonhere.

Dancewithme.

Youarejustthesweetest.

Ilovethewayyoulookeverynight,Chandler.

That'swhyImadeyouthistape.

Happybirthday!Love,Janice!

No,you'rethesweetest.

Okay,ladies,thatendstoday'sclass.

Remember,besafeoutthere.

-Greatclass.-Thanks.

Iwaswatching.

Acoupleofquestions:

Youknowthatlastmove...

wherethatwomantrippedyouandpinnedyoutothefloor?

Whatwouldyoudonext?

She'dtakethekeysandjamtheminyour..

No,uldyoudonext?

-Who,me,theattacker?-Yes,that'sright.

Why?

work.

What?

No,it''remyfriends.

Infact,Iwasmarriedtooneofthem.

Youattackedyourex-wife?

Oh,,no.

Itried.

ButIcouldn''swhyI'mhere.

Maybewecouldattackthemtogether!

That'sano.

Iamso,so,so,sosorry.

AndIwillcookanythingyouwantinhere...

anddoanythingyouwantinthere.

Yeah,youwill!Andareyoukiddingme?

Comeon,Monica,it'sourValentine'sDay.

Plea,plea,plea,plea?

Okay.

我有趣的情人甜蜜逗趣的情人

-Soarewegoinginthere?-Iam!

你的表情如此有趣

Nowheretorun.

Idon'tlikesittinguphere.I'mgonnagoover..

No,theygotherefirst.

-WhyisRossdoingthat?-Danger!

Oh,myGod!Whyishejumpingonthowomen?

Weshouldhelpthem.

Idon'tthinktheyneedanyhelp.

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