ermodelingdaysinNew
York,Gabriellahaddevelopedatasteforrichfood,,whoworkedinmergers
andacquisitions,llawastouchedwhentearswelledupinhis
llaliked
rherrelationshipwithherhusbandwasconsiderablycooler.
IfyoutalktoALMASONatthisthing,IwantyoutocasuallymentionhowmuchIpaidfor
pinthereceipttomychest?Heletmeknowhowmuchhepaidforhis
wife’,snowayIcanjustworkthatin,
?AttheDonahueparty,ndawayto
mentionedyousleptwithhalftheYankeeoutfield.I’mtellingyou,itcameupinthecontextof
,keepyourvoicedown,plea?
Absolutely,wewouldn’twantthemtothinkwearenothappy.
BreeVanwholivesnextdoor,s
knownforhercooking,andformakingherownclothes,andfordoinghergardening,andfor
,Bree’smanytalentswereknownthroughoutthe
neonWisteriaLanethoughtofBreeastheperfectwifeandmother.
Everyone,thatis,exceptherownfamily.
Paul,,,youshouldn’o
basketwithredribbonisfilledwithdesrtsforyourguests,buttheone
’sgotrolls,muffins,breakfasttypethings.
,theleastthingIcoulddoismakesureyouboyshadadecentmealtolook
,,I
willneedbasketsbackonceyou’.
Susan,wholivedacrossthestreet,band,Karl,always
teadherabouthermacaroni,sayingitwastheonlythingsheknewhowtocookandsherarely
oowaterythe
nightshefoundlipstickonKarl’neditthenightKarltoldherhewasleavingherfor
adstartedtothinkhowniceitwould
ewhowouldmakefunofhercooking.
Mum,whywouldsomeonekillthemlves?Well,sometimespeoplearesounhappy,they
thinkthat’.
Sometimespeoplepretendtobeoneway,whenthey’,you
meanlikehowdad’sgirlfriendalwayssmilingandsaysnicethingsbutweknowshe’sabitch.I
don’tlikethatword,,yeah,that’sagreatexample.
Sorry,I’,whatdidKarlsaywhenyouconfrontedhim?You’lllovethis.
Hesaid…itdoesn’tmeananything,,yea,pageoneofthephilanderer’s
,andthenhegotthiszenlookonhisface,andhesaid,youknowSusan,most
,“really?Andwhat
domostwomenleadlivesofnoisyfulfillment?Hmm,,ofallpeople,didhe
havetobanghiscretary?’slikemygrandmotheralways
said,anerectpenisdoesn’elimponesaren’half
,whenRexstartedgoingtothomedicalconferences,Iwanted
itinthebackofhismindthathehadalovinglifeathome,withaloadedSmith&,
Tom’verworryhemight?Oh,plea,theman’sgottenme
,Susan,ishe
gonnastopeingthatwoman?Idon’tknow.I’msorry,youguys,Ijust…Ijustdon’tknowhow
I’tome,vefacethem
head-on,that’swhenwe’dfindouthowstrongwereallyare.
Susan,sustogotoMary
Alice’hecan’,that’s
OK?Yeah,I’Alicewashavingproblems,sheshouldhave
uld’oblemscouldshehavehad?Shewashealthy,
ewas…Alicewashavingacrisis,
we’es50feetaway,,thewomankilledherlf.
Somethingmust’vebeengoingon.
Iwouldn’?Imadeit,,hey,doyouhaveadeath
wish?No,,mygod.
Howdidyou…ittasteslikeit’,,
I’tartedrentingtheSim’ayer,Iliveacrossthe
oldmeaboutyou,saidyouillustratechildren’,I’mverybigwith
youdo?Plumber,soifyoueverhaveaclog…orsomething…now
thateverybody’senthatIbroughtsomething,Ishouldprobablyjustthrowthisout.
Eaup,e,awareof
whatyoursonsaredoing?Cannonball!Stop!Whatareyoudoing?d.
aveyourswimsuitson?
Yeah,weput’eeplannedthis?’.
?toswimandyoucan’t
won’tgetinthispoolandjustgrabyou?Getout!Getoverhere.
Allright,…that’sright,,go,go,go,,get
,ain,I’.
Lynetteshouldn’therthingsonhis
ningaftermyfuneral,myfriendsandneighborsquietly
wentbacktotheirbusy,omedidtheircooking,andsomedidtheircleaning,
andsomedidtheiryoga,others,didtheir‘homework’.
Hi,I’mJulie,,OK,well,let’sgoroundandgetit.
ediedayearago,hewantedtostayinLA,’s
rentingfortaxpurpos,’,
knowhe’ssingle,
,o,…Idon’tknowifI’mreadytostartdating
,howlonghasitbeensinceyou’vehadx?Areyou
madthatIaskedyouthat?No,I’’twanttotalktoyouaboutmylove
n’’sjust…dad’s
girlfriendaskifyou’nthey
,,Mike,d’vebrought
somethingbyearlier,but…actually,you’?
e.
alsoknewthatgoodnews…squickly.
questswerenumerous.
endary.
HiSusan,IhopeI’,I’mEdie,ver
etoWisteriaLane.
Susanhadmettheenemy,andshewasaslut.
’sthis?’,
thanks,’s,great.I’ssortofinthemiddleofsomething.I’m
antedtosayhi.
Andjustlikethat,ment,Susanwonderedif
herrivalrywithEdiewouldremainfriendly.
Oh,Mike,Iheardyou’reaplumber.
Butshewasremindedthatwhenitcametomen…
Doyouthinkyoucouldstopbylaterandtakealookatmypipes?
Womendon’tfightfare.
,’,no,I’mnot
’’maroundthatman,he
ver200,ntstograb
yourass,,hatbushthere?Youweresuppod
’’kecareofit.I
tethatIspent15,000onyourdiamondnecklace
whichyoucouldn’’tellTanakawe’llbethere
tomorrow?John,,,I’
I’mkeepingmybackpresdagainstthewalltheentiretime.
YouknowwhatIdon’tget?What?,hepromidtogiveme
everythingI’he?yyouaren’thappy?TurnsoutIwantedall
ulovehim?,then,whyarewehere,whyarewedoingthis.
becauIdon’,
canIhaveadrag?ldyoufeelabout
meusingyourchild-supportpaymentsforplasticsurgery?Stopbeingsonervous,you’rejust
atyourprojectforschool?Youknowwhen
Iwasinfifthgrade,Mike
eusingme
,that’,,busy?Not,notatall,what’sup?Well,
I…Ijust,uh,waswonderingiftherewasanychancethatyou,uh…Ijustwantedtoaskif…Edie.
Hey,there,eyou…detoomuchsoIthoughtI’d
’sgoingon?
me?Andyou’reaplumber,right?g’,that’susually
,I’,?youwanttocomeovernow?
’veme2minutes,I’uffthehairdown
’,s
,I’mtellingyou,it’,god,that’shim.
,here’ikesomebodystuffeda
bunchofpopsiclessticksdownhere.
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