老友记第七季

-I'mready.-Yousure?

Letmejuststraightenoutyourhelmetthere.

-Thanks,Daddy.-No,dy,twomommies.

-Allright,it'sallyours.-Okay,okay.

Thereyougo,thereyougo.

Wow,Ben'sfirstbigkid'soexciting!

Oh,yeah,Iremembermine.

othepark...

-andIgotonitanditbent.-Yeah.

-Ineverhadabikeofmyown.-What?

Wedidn'thavealotofmoney.

Butthegirlacrossthestreethadthebestbike.

Itwaspinkandithadrainbow-coloredtaslshangingoffthehandles...

andabellandthisbig,whitewickerbasket...

withthoplasticdaisiesstuckon.

Thatsoundslikemyfirstbike.

Mydadgavemehisoldone.

-Didthegirleverletyourideit?-No.

Butshegavemetheboxthatitcamein.

Ithadapictureofthebikeonthefront.

SoIwouldsitonitandmystepdadwoulddragmearoundthebackyard.

Thatissounfair.

Notreally,Igottodraghimaroundtoo.

TheOneWithAlltheCandy

25

Makingcandyfortheneighbors.

I'msorry,who?

I'mgonnahangabasketonthedoor.

Whentheneighborswalkby,theycantakeapiece.

-Butwedon'tknowtheneighbors.-Ido.

There's,let'se,theguywiththemustache...

smokes-a-lotlady,somekidsI'veen...

andthered-hairedguywhodoesnotliketobecalledRusty.

See,thisixactlywhyI'mmakingthiscandy.

Wecangettoknowourneighbors.

Wouldn'titbeeasierifwejustmoved?

Goodmorning!

-Somebody'sinagoodmood.-Well,whyshouldn'tIbe?

wonderfuljob..

Whereyoucanmakeoutwithyourassistant.

It'snotabigdeal.

Westayedupcreatingaplansothatusdatingwon'tbeaproblem.

Oh,yeah?What'stheplan?

We..Wearenot...

goingtoletit...

beaproblem.

Ittookyouallnighttocomeupwiththatplan?

Well,youknow,wedidotherstufftoo.

Didyoutwo...?

Oh,Idon'tsleepwithguysonthefirstdate.

-MattWire,MarkLynn,BenWi..-Anymore!

Hi,Tag,Ihaveaconferencecalltoday,isthatcorrect?

-Yes,at4.-Okay,thankyou,that'llbeall.

Wait,wait.

Didyouethat?

Hehadnoideatherewassomethinggoingonbetweenus.

-I'dbettergetbacktomydesk.-Okay,hardworker.

I'llputthatinyourevaluation.

-Mywhat?-You'vebeenherefortwomonthsnow.

Andyourbossisrequiredtohandinaperformanceevaluation.

Butyouknow,thereisonethingthatIhaveyettoevaluate.

-Areyourious?-No,butI'vealwayswantedtodothat.

Canyouhelpmecleanthisup?

Thebasketistotallyempty!Theneighborsateitall!

Well,eitherthator...

Joey!

Yeah?

-Didyoueatalltheneighborcandy?-Thatwastheplan.

WhenIgottoit,therewasonlyafewpiecesleft.

They'veit.

Theylovemycandy?

-Oh,man,Igottagomakemore.-Hey,Mon.

ingmighthavehappenedtoachunkofit.

Ross,theneighborsateallmycandy.

Minestolemynewspaper.

It'slikeacrimewave.

Phoebe,yougotacond?

Sure.

Eversinceyoutoldmeaboutthatbike...

Icouldn'tstopthinkingaboutit.

Imean,everyoneshouldhaveafirstbike,youknow?So...

Oh,myGod,Ross!

-Youlikeit?-Iloveit!

-Yeah?-Oh,oh,God..

AndIloveyou.

Notthatway.

Butthebikegotyoualotclor.

Well,takeitdownstairs.

Youknow,giveitatestdrive.

,myGod.

Myfirstbike!

ThankyouforthebestprentI'veevergotten.

You'rewelcome.

Oh,andChandler'sabouttocry.

Amnot.

Whoisthat?

Don'tworry,I'mbrave.

I..Iambrave.

No,no,no,no!

Canyoutellmewhoisthere,plea?

Myname'pstairs.

-Hi.-Hi.

-Doyouknowwhattimeitis?-It'scandytime.

Myroommatesaystheytastelikelittledropsofheaven.

Oh,plea.

Didyouhearthat?"Littledropsofheaven."

Foura.m.

SocanIgetsomecandy?

Iamsorry,butsomeofushavetogetupearlyandgotowork.

HedoesnotknowthatIamnot"someofus."

I'msorry,butI'llputsomeoutinthemorning.

Okay,I'llswingbylater.

Youliveinthisbuilding?

SeemslikeI'drememberyou.

Night,Gar.

Sodidyoureadyourevaluationyet?

No,itwasmarked"confidential."

Ijustntittohumanresources.

Plea,you'rekidding,right?Iwrotethatoneasajokeforyou.

Ajoketheywouldappreciate?

I'mthinking,no.

-Whatdidyousay?-Isaidyouwereagoodkisr...

andthatIlikedyourteeny,tinytushy.

No,notmytushy.

Itgetswor.

Aboutyourinitiative,Iwrote:

"Hewasabletounhookmybrawithminimalsupervision."

Underproblemswithperformance,Iwrote,"DearGod,Ihopenot."

Andthen..AndthenIdrewalittlesmileyface.

Andthenasmallpornographicsketch.

ThatissosweetofyoutogetPhoebethatbike.

WhenIheardthestory,Ialmostcried.

Almostcried,huh?

Hearthat,Chandler?"Almost"cried.

Hey,youcryeverytimesomebodytalksaboutTitanic.

Thotwohadonlyeachother.

Shereallylikesit,huh?

Oh,rwalkingitdownthestreet.

ocute.

Isawherthismorning,walkingitbythepark.

Wait,shewaswalkingthebike?

Bothtimes?

-Hey,Phoebe.-Oh,hi!

-Hey,soyouenjoyingthebike?-Oh,uh-huh,somuch.

Phoebe,youdoknowhowtorideabike,don'tyou?

Ofcour.

Canweeyourideit?

Okay.

See?

Itoldyounottogetinvolvedwithyourassistant.

There'snosuchthingasacretwhenitcomestoaffairs.

Didyouhearthat,Chandler?

Nosuchthing.

Whathappened?I'mjusteatingcandy.

Maybeit'ghtnottakeitthewayImeantit.

Absolutely,youknow?Becau"tushy"canmeanbothass...

andgoodworker.

Ijustgottagetthethingback.

Rach?Thatsketchyoumentioned?

Mightithavelookedalittlelikethis?

Oh,myGod,Joey!

-Whatisthematterwithyou?-God!

ThislittletalentcameinhandybeforeIcouldaffordporn.

Hi,I't'safterhours,butIreallyneedcandy.

I'msorry,Ican'?Rulesarerules.

Plea,Ihavepeoplecomingfromoutoftowntoday.

-Itoldthemallaboutyourcandy.-You'rekidding.

Out-of-towners,huh?Whatdidyoutellthem?

Itoldthemyourcandywasabsolutelyindescribable.

Somepeoplehavesaidit's"littledropsofheaven."Butwhatever.

-Plea,can'tyouhelpmeout?-Hey,Chandler,doweknowthatlady?

Isn'tshethewomanwholivesbelowyouandhasxreallyloud?

Allright,I'lldoitjustthisonce.

-Butyoucan'ttellanyone.-Plea,justgiveittome.

Yeah,that'sher.

-Thankyou.-Unbelievable!

Ican'tbelievethatsigndidn'twork.

Youknowwhatwouldwork?Stopmakingcandy.

Buttheylikeit.

Youmeantheylikeyou.

Maybe.

Isthatwhyyoubecameachef,sopeoplewouldlikeyou?

Youwanttotalkaboutgettingpeopletolikeyou,huh,funnyman?

JustremembereverythingItaughtyouandyou'llbefine.

Okay?Herewego.

Ready,t..

Wait,thisatisreallyuncomfortable.

Maybebeforewestartweshouldjustgetanotherone.

Perhapslikeanairplaneat,orabeanbagchair!

Youcan'etolearnhowtorideabike.

Why?WhydoIhavetolearn?

-Well,incaofanemergency.-Whatkindofemergency?

Well,whatifamancomesalongandputsaguntoyourheadandsays:

"YouridethisbikeorI'll..

I'llshootyou."

Iwouldringthebelltodistracthim.

ThenIwouldknockthegunawaywithaChinethrowingstar.

Okay,Phoebe,justgetonthebike...

and,hey,I'?

Youwon'tletgo?

-No.-Youswear?

Iswear.

-Okay.-Comeon.

ht?

Allright?

Feelgood?Allright,trypedaling.

That'sit,you',takecontrol.

Yes,yes,yes!

Oh,no!

Youswore!

-Ijustthoughtyouweredoingsowell.-d!

It'salegitimatelearningtechnique.

Wow.

Hey,there'ssomepeopleoutsideaskingaboutcandy.

They'lljusthavetowait,okay?Ionlygottwohands!

-Needsomehelp?-No,youdon'tknowthesystem.

Idon'tneednobodymessingwiththesystem!

Bytheway,theweekbeforeyourwedding,youmaynotealotofme.

Oh,hello,liar.

Look,I'mreallysorryIletgoofthebike.

Icould'vebeenkilled,youknow.

Iknow,Iknow.

Butcanwepleatryitagain?

Imean,youweresoclo,Phoebe.

Well,Iwouldloveto...

butthebikegotstolenandthepolicehavenosuspects.

-Phoebe.-What?

Whatthehell?

Youknowwhat?

Ifyouwon'tlearnhowtoride,thenI'msorry...

-Ihavetotakeitback.-Butwhy?

Becauit's...

It'dbelikeyouhavingthisguitar...

andneverplayingit.

Okay,thisguitarwantstobeplayed.

Andthisbikewantstoberidden.

Andifyoudon'trideit...

you'rekillingitsspirit.

Thebike...

isdying.

areenoughtomakeupthatloadofcrap,okay.

Great.

You'remakingthebikeveryhappy.

Okay,Ross.

Pleadon'tdie!

Togettheevaluationbeforetheyeit...

wegottagetintoZelner'n'tgetinuntil10.

Buthisassistant,Betty,comesinearlytoeatbreakfastatherdesk.

-That'skindofsad.-Yeah,well,Betty'skindofsad.

WhichiswhyIbelieveIcanlureherawaywiththechocolates.

WhileIdistracther,yougoin.

-Gotit.-Let'sroll.

Hello,aminute?

Yeah,sure,?.

Okay,great.

Aborttheplan.

Actually,I'dliketospeaktobothofyou.

Okay.

Well,canwegetyouanything,?Maybesomechocolates.

No,thanks,butI'llgivethetoBetty.

So,IreadyourevaluationofTag.

Or,touhisfullname,Tag"SweetCheeks"Jones?

Issomethinggoingonwithyoutwo?

Oh,myGod,canyouimagineiftherewas?

Imean,whatwouldhappenexactly?

Well,I'dbeforcedtofileareport.

I'dhavetoconsultwiththelegaldepartment.

Andyourfutureatthecompanywouldbeinjeopardy.

-Well..-...

Ifilledinthatevaluation.

-Oh,no..-Yeah,yeah.

Ithoughtitwouldbefunny.

Youwrotethatyouhaveacutetushy?

Yes.

Ihaveaweirdnofhumor.

AndI'mkindofstrangelyproudofmybutt.

It'skindofariskyjoke,Tag.

Whatisthisdrawing?Ican'tfigureitout.

It'supsidedown,yougotta..Itdoesn'tmatter.

It'snotlikeIdon'thaveanofhumor.

Hell,Ievenenjoyanaughtylimerickeverynowandthen.

There'satimeandaplace.

Unlessyouhavealimerickrightnow.

No?,you'vegotmyfaxnumber.

Ican'ssweet.

-Don'tworryaboutit.-Youcould'velostyourjob.

Areyoukiddingme?Withthiscutebutt,I'dfindwork.

Thankyou,you'regreat.

-Youknowwhat?-What?

Ifeelgreat.

Infact...

What?

It'sjust..Ittookmesolongtogetthatdeskorganized.

I'msorry.

Thereitis.

Whatisgoingon?

We'utthecandy!

Yeah,lady,giveuscandy.

Joey!

-What'sup,buddy?-Whatareyoudoing?

Waitingtogetcandy.

Getinhere.

Hey,andyoucannotsmokeinhere.

MerryChristmas.

Thecandyiscoming!Ineedanother15minutesforittocool.

Allright,everybody,t!Bequiet!Pipedown!

Whatisthematterwithyoupeople?

Thiswomanwastryingtodoanicethingforyou.

Shewasmakingcandysoshecouldgettoknowallofyou...

andI'llbetthatnotoneofyoucantellmehername.

AmIright?

CandyLady?

No,not"CandyLady."

Ifweknowit,canwehavecandy?

Allright,youknowwhat?

Forgetit,you'veruinedit.

'veruinedit.

That'sallwrong!nedit!

-Thankyou.-You'rewelcome.

Didyousmoke?

No,smokes-a-lotladyblewsmokedirectlyintomymouth.

Areyouokay?

Fine,butitwasreallyscaryforawhile.

Someoneslippedathreateningnoteunderthedoor!

Oh,talityorwhatever.

Ican'bike!

IneverthoughtI'ou.

Oh,hey,don'ourlf.

You'retheonewhofacedyourfearsandultimatelyovercamethem.

Don'tbesocorny,'snotanAfterSchoolSpecial.