just a friend

Whatisitthatgoodfrienddo

BeforeItalkaboutthethingsthatgoodfriendsdo,Iwant

et

older,justifiedinyour

decisiontoreviewyourfriendshipsandyouwilloutgrowa

’snothingwrongwiththisanditcertainlyisn’t

anonce

said‘peopleareinourliveitherforareason,aasonor

alifetime’.Foreveryfailedfriendshipwehavehad,weare

abletolearnthingsaboutourlvesandourcharactertraits.

Everyonedervesthebestfromtheirfriendshipsandthere

aresomequalitiesthatyoujustshouldn’tnegotiateon:

Agoodfriendwantstoeyoudowell

Youwouldbeamazedathowmanypeoplecan’tstandtoe

amplifiednowwithsocial

aprocess:wechange,

havea10yearfriendshipforexample,youwon’tbeinthesame

positionthatyouwerewhenthefriendshipfirst

lly,you’llevolve,andafriendthatcan’taccept

thisisn’tedasyou

maybetodevelopa‘I’llshowthem’attitude,thiskindof

aveany‘Negative

Nellie’s’inyourlife,letthemgo!

Agoodfriendwillsupportyou

Goodfriendsshouldspeaklifeintoanythingthatyouare

tryingtoachieve.I’mnotsayingthatyourfriendshouldbe

alifecoach,butwhatIamsayingiswhileyouaredoing

everythinginyourpowertoachieveacertaingoal(whether

personalorprofessional),yourfriendsshouldbeinyourcorner

consistentsupport

isn’toffered,takingthetimetocheckinonanyprogressmade

onceinawhileletsthemknowthatyoucare,andthisisreally

’snothingworthangoingthroughamajor

shiftortransformationinyourlifeandnothavingthepeople

youloveandcareaboutrootingforyou.

Agoodfriendwillshowupforyou

AccordingtoasurveybyYouGov,aquarterofmillennials

elinespidemic

appearstohavehitmillennial’isolationisa

riousissueanditisharmingthequalityofour

ewheresocialmediaandthelikesof

NetflixandAmazonPrimeappeartobetakingoverthe

world,spendingallourfreedaysandnightsindoorshasnever

’tletthelatestphenomenongetin

lyisn’

llshowupforyouand

theywon’sawholeheapofeffort

tokeepafriendshipgoingbutjustlikeromantic

relationships,bothpeoplehavegottoputtheworkin.

I’vegottoputsomeemphasisonALLtimesbecaualot

ofpeopleknowexactlywhotheirfriendsarewhentheyare

feelingdown,forexample,buttheminutethingsstartto

improve,

comestodeterminingthequalityofyourfriendships,pay

attentiontothevibesyougetbecautheywillneverfail

nwhoyoumaythinkisafriendmayjusteyouas

keandstartmatchingtheenergyyou

get!.Ifyouarethefriendthat’sactivelymakinganeffort

toarrangecatchup’sbutyougetnorespon,allyoucando

iskeepitmovingandacceptthatyoutriedyourbesttoreach

out.

Agoodfriendwillbehonest

Honestyisthebestpolicyandthisdefinitelyappliesto

behardtohearwhattheyhavetosayatfirstbutbelievethat

’salsoimportantto

rememberthateveryoneisdifferentsothedeliverymaynot

entfriendsrvedifferent

purpos:youmayhaveafriendwhoisalwaysabletokeepit

100whenitcomestopersonaldilemmasbutmaynotknowwhat

tosayifyouhaveaworkissue,friendships

progress,you’llknowwhoyoucanturntoforwhat,oryoumay

evenbeblesdenoughtohaveaclofriendthatyoucantalk

aboutanythingwith.

Agoodfriendisloyal

Inpreviousposts,I’vespokenabouttheimportanceof

riestthetoneforyour

thingIknowaboutmylfisthatIexpectloyaltybecau

that’arsago,aformerfriendofminedid

somethingthatwasverydisloyal,andalthoughsheapologid

profuly,ave

ourthresholdsandI’mnotsayingthatyouneedtocreatea

listofboundariesandhandittoeveryfriendyoumake,butyou

enddoessomethingthat

doesn’tsitwellwithyou,tellthem!Iftheyareaccountable

fortheiractions,they’llbemorethanhappytotalkthings

through,andifyourrelationshipismeanttobe,yourfriendship

willbeevenbetterthanitwasbefore.

Agoodfriendisn’tjudgmental

Ashumans,wecan’mple,whenyou

readthepaperinthemorning,oneortwostoriesintherewill

definitelyhaveyouthinking‘Whatthehell…?’.I’msureyou

canthinkofmanymoreexamplesbutbeingjudgmentalis

eifafriendhas

toldyouaboutsomethingthey’vedonethattheyaren’t

particularlyproudof,you’vegottotakeoffthe‘critic’hat

ll,nobodyisperfect

andwe’re

a‘judgmental’friend,thinkaboutwhyyoumayfeeltheneedto

judgeothers:maybeyouwerejudgedinyourchildhoodormaybe

youareverycriticalofyourlf?Onceyou’veaddresd

certaintraits,you’llbeabletoworkonthemsothatyoucan

beabetterfriend.

Agoodfriendcheersyouup

Now,talkingisoneofthemosteffectivewaystocheer

someoneup,andagoodfriendwillnoticethatsomethingmaybe

ddoesn’tletyou

lldifferent,soperhaps,youwon’t

atively,youmayoffertotakeyour

friendtothecinema,takehertooneofherappointments,plan

IgotthejobIhavenow(IworkasaProjectsCoordinator),I

wenttosomanyinterviewsandthewholeprocesswasgetting

medownandI’dspentalmostamonthharboringthe

,Ijustpickedupthephoneandcalleda

friend,as

needed

eedthiskind

endfindsjoyinyourmiry,then

s

liftyouup,theydon’ttearyoudown.