2022年12月26日发(作者：六级考试报名)生活大爆炸 英文剧本台词系列
[《星球大战V》主题曲]
"The Imperial March"
您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗
Would you plea turn your shirt off?
那怎么行
What?
我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐
I'm giving mylf dramatic entrance music.
这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我
People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.
确实
Right.
世上最惊悚的事莫过于
There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man
有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出
who's got music blasting from between his nipples.
斯图亚特 忙啥呢
Hey,Stuart,what's going on?
你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了
Well,you might want to mark your Google calendars.
斯坦?李周四来这里开签名会
Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.
他的自传出续集了吗
Did he finally write a quel to his autobiography?
我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮
I'm sure ages 79 through 87 were just action-packed.
没 就是普通的漫画签名罢了
No,just a regular comic signing.
我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生
My uncle is his dermatologist
斯坦?李因此卖个面子给他
and Stan's doing him a favor.
你告诉我这些干嘛啊你
Oh,I don't want to know that!
这下好了 我怎么可能一边和斯坦?李讨论
How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee
用银质冲浪板
the scientific foundations for interstellar flight
来星际飞行的科学依据
on a silver surfboard
一边逐行扫描他的脸
when part of my brain will be scanning his face
以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹
for signs of contagious skin dia?
斯坦?李没有皮肤传染病
Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin dia.
一边去 你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔
Well,look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.
难以置信 我们要见到斯坦?李了
Can't believe it. We're going to meet Stan Lee!
[《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲]
"I'm So Excited"
我错了 我不该教他跳这舞的
I'm sad to say I taught him tho moves.
我实在无法取舍
I can't decicide
究竟让斯坦?李把名字签在
whether I want Stan Lee to autograph
托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上
my Journey into Mystery 83,first appearance of Thor
还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上
or my Fantastic Four number five,
死亡博士的处女秀
first appearance of Dr. Doom.
[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目 思考时的音乐 节目的主题曲]
(Jeopardy theme song playing)
阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持) 我选的答案是
Alex,I'm going to go with what is...
你是个傻帽
you're a dumbass?
我决定让斯坦?李把名签在
I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy
这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上
of this month's Batman.
有病吧你
That's crazy.
蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦?李的作品[竞争对手]
Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.
对啊 所以其他人不会让他签这个
Yes,which is why no o
ne el will ask him to sign one,
于是我就会拥有一件
and I will be the posssor of
虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝
a unique,albeit confusing,artifact,
我从此就和那群芸芸
which will t me apart
漫画迷不再是一个级别的了
from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.
这点子不错
That's a great idea.
我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去
I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.
你对独一无二这个词很难理解么
What is it about the word "unique" you don't understand?
靠 手被纸片划破了
Damn,paper cut.
被纸割伤最痛苦了
Nothing wor than a paper cut.
你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式]
Well,obviously you don't remember your circumcision.
上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴
There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.
这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗
Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
卫生间里有 还有厨房里
He does. And in the kitchen.
还有车里 再加上他口袋里
And in the car. And in his pocket.
没错 但我口袋里的可不给别人用
Yeah,but the ones in my pocket are mine.
-嗨 -嘿
- Hi! - Hey.
猜猜看
Guess who's going to be
周四谁会去漫画店
at the comic bookstore on Thursday?
呃 给点提示吧
Um... can you give me a hint?
斯坦?李
Stan Lee.
噢 斯坦利
Um... Stanley...
斯坦利?图奇?[著名演员]
Stanley... Stanley Tucci?
不是
No.
是斯坦?李
No,Stan... Lee.
哦 斯坦?李嘛
Oh,oh,Stan Lee!
不错嘛
Cool!
你根本不知道他是谁吧
You have no idea who he is,do you?
谁说的 我当然知道
Of cour I do.
你是我生命中的重要的一部分
You're an important part of my life
我自然会爱屋及乌啦
and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.
是嘛 好啊
Oh,good.
好极了
Good.
那你说说 斯坦?李是谁
So,who's Stan Lee?
星际迷航里的
Um... he was on Star Trek.
猜错了
Nope.
-那就星球大战 -又错
- Star Wars? - No.
呃 斯坦?李
Um... uh,Stan Lee.
我知道了
Ooh,he was in tho
是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的
goofy kung fu movies you love so much?
那是李小龙
That's Bruce Lee.
啊哦
Oh.
那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?
So,is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother,Stan?
谢尔顿 你抽屉怎么有那么多
Sheldon,why do you have all the unopened
没拆封的薪水支票
paychecks in your desk?
因为我想买的东西
Becau most of the things I'm planning to buy
市面上基本上都没有
haven't been invented yet.
这儿得有好几千块了吧
There-there must be thousands of dollars here.
你干嘛不存银行里
Why don't you put it in the bank?
鬼才相信银行
I don't trust banks.
我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了
I believe that when the robots ri up,
自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖
ATMs will lead the charge.
这儿还有一封
You've also got something
帕萨迪
纳市法院寄来的东西
from the Pasadena Municipal Court.
肯定又是回信来鄙视我
Undoubtedly another snide respon
之前寄去的几封信里
to my repeated letters complaining
投诉了法院门口的旗子
that the flags in front of the courthou
次序是错误的
are flying in the wrong order.
按照从左到右的顺序
From left to right,it's suppod to be
应该先是联邦旗 州旗
federal,state,
最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗
and then city of Pasadena.
打断一下 你为此寄了好几封信过去
I'm sorry. You nt more than one letter about that?
它们看着太碍眼了
It bothers me.
谢尔顿 这是封传票
Sheldon,this is a summons.
什么的传票
A summons for what?
信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯
Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue
时间是11月16号晚上9点半
at 9:30 p.m. on November 16.
你被路边的摄像头拍下来了
They got you on a traffic camera.
挺上镜嘛
Nice picture.
11月16号
November 16?
佩妮 那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒
Penny,that's the evening you fell in your bathtub
然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗
and I had to drive you to the emergency room.
不是
No,it isn't.
就是
Yes,it is.
就不是
No,it isn't.
佩妮 我记得很清楚
Penny,I have an eidetic memory.
而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上
Also,that's a picture of you in the pasnger at
托着你那脱臼的肩膀
holding your dislocated shoulder.
才不是呢
Mmm,no,it isn't.
好吧 那为啥传票上违反交规的
Okay,then why is a summons for a traffic violation
是你的车 而且挂着你的车牌
committed in your car,bearing your licen plates,
却寄来我这儿了
coming to me?
好吧 他们给我发了传票
Okay,look,they nt me the ticket.
我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车
I told them I wasn't driving
然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"
and they were all,"If it wasn't you,who was it?"
于是你就把我出卖了
So you betrayed me?
才没有
No!
这哪是出卖
It wasn't a betrayal.
我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"
It was more of a "I can't afford any more points on my licen."
我已经不得不
I already have to buy my insurance
去开曼群岛上买车险了
from this place in the Cayman Islands.
但我之所以开你的车还不是因为
But the only reason I was driving your car
你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手
was becau you were in distress and I was rescuing you.
是啊是啊 你看现在 你有张照片记录英勇的一天
Yea yea. Look at have a photo to remember that heroic day.
没什么大不了的
It's not that big a deal.
你只要周四去法院
You just go down to the court on Thursday
交罚金就行
and you pay the fine.
我才不去交罚金
I'm not going to pay a fine.
那就说明我有罪
That would imply I'm guilty.
你确实有罪
You are guilty.
[《法律与秩序
》的主题曲]
这个我喜欢
That one I liked.
我是无罪的
I am not guilty.
我只有实习驾照
I only have a learner's permit.
佩妮教我的
Penny was the teacher.
转黄灯时 她就说"快快快"
When the light turned yellow she said "Go,go,go."
于是我就"开开开"
So I went,went,went.
谢尔顿 对不起
Sheldon,I'm sorry.
我会还你罚金的钱
I'll be happy to reimbur you for the fine.
只要我能参演一部电影
You know,as soon as I get a part in a movie
或者自己拍个电视剧
or my own TV ries.
不用你还 因为我不会交的
You don't need to reimbur me becau I'm not paying.
周四那天 我会去法院
On Thursday,I will have my day in court
正义会得到伸张
and justice will be done.
我现在就着手准备辩护
In fact,I'm going to begin preparing my defen right now.
他坐定牢了
Okay,he's going to jail.
对哦
Oh,that's right.
周四是斯坦?李签名日
Thursday is Stan Lee Day.
看到你做的好事了吧
Now you e what you've done?
就因为你 我们都见不到斯坦?李了
Becau of you,we're all going to miss Stan Lee.
你说"都"是什么意思
What do you mean "all?"
你们是我朋友啊
Well,you're my friends.
你们要站在我旁边 支持我
You'll be standing by my side,supporting me,
为我提供案例
feeding me legal precedents,
你们上身要是够壮
and if you had the upper body strength,
我胜诉时 可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去
carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.
这个嘛 不行
Yeah,okay. No.
你是说我为自己辩护时
Are you saying that you will not stand beside me
你不会来站在我身边吗
as I plead my ca?
是这个意思
That's what I'm saying.
霍华德
Howard?
斯坦?李 法庭上的你
Uh,Stan Lee,or you in court.
要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单
Uh,if this was Sophie's Choice
电影就不会那么长了 不行
it would've been a much shorter movie. No.
拉杰
Raj?
你会来吧
You'll be there,won't you?
那好吧
All right,then.
我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我
My so-called friends have forsaken me.
看来只剩我和目击证人了
So,I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.
晕死
Oh,balls.
请着装得体一点
Plea try to wear something appropriate.
要是法官只顾着想
It won't help my ca
你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思
if the judge is busy trying to read the word "Juicy"
对我的案子没好处
scrawled across your buttocks.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
节奏不对
That's just wrong.
好了 走吧
All right,let's go.
等一下
Wait,hold on.
去法院之前
Before we get to the courthou,
我想看一下你的演技
I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.
这是什么
What is this?
我冒昧地
I've taken the liberty
为你起草了出庭作证的剧本
of scripting your appearance on the witness stand
面对现实 你有点我行我素
beca
u,let's face it,you're somewhat of a loo cannon.
别担心 都是用你的方言写的
{c it's written in your vernacular.
我们排练一下如何
So shall we rehear?
我有得选吗
Do I have a choice?
你当然有选择权
Well,of cour you have a choice.
虽然我们生活在宿命里
Although we live in a deterministic univer,
但每个人都有自由选择的权力
each individual has free will.
给我坐下
Now,sit down.
请你回忆下
I call your attention
11月16日发生的事
to the events of November 16.
你记得那天吗
Do you remember that date?
废话 我记得
"Darn tootinI will demonstrate
我在驾驶过程中 受到一个女人的误导
that I was improperly instructed in driving
这个女人缺乏社会上
by a woman who lack of respect for society
对反社会界定的基本认识
borders on the sociopathic.
我要争辩的是
I will argue
紧急情况下的法律原理
that the emergency met the legal doctrine
是需要即合法[拉丁文]
of quod est necessarium est licitum--
也就是需要即合法
that which is necessary is legal.
但首先
But first,
我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案]
I will rai a Sixth Amendment issue.
我无法与控方对峙
I'm unable to confront my accur,
因为控方是一台非人类机器
a non-human entity,to wit,
也就是摄像机
a camera.
所以 综上所述
So,to sum up:
错误指导
{c
加上"需要即合法"的原理
{c
还有第六条修正案
Sixth Amendment.
我的挤奶凳辨述完毕
My milk stool is complete.
佩服佩服
Impressive.
谢谢
Thank you.
罪名成立
Guilty.
去付钱吧
Pay the cashier.
我反对
I object.
你这是在无视法律
You're completely ignoring the law.
不 我遵守法律
No,I'm following the law.
只是在无视你
I'm ignoring you.
是吗
Really?
提醒你一下 我可是业内顶尖人士
I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,
你却坐在桌子后面过家家
while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
库珀博士 我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉
Dr. Cooper,before I find you in contempt
不然我要视你为蔑视法庭
and throw you in jail,I'm going to give you a chance
把你扔进监狱
to apologize for that last remark.
我可是个科学家
I am a scientist.
我才不会为陈述事实而道歉
I never apologize for the truth.
那是我的位置
That's my spot.
我等不及要问斯坦?李
I can't wait to ask Stan Lee
为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名
why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names
开头字母都是一样的
that start with the same letter.
[以下均为惊奇漫画人物]
得了 你这是何必
Oh,come on. Why would you do that?
分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》
布鲁斯?班纳 里德?理查
Bruce Banner,Reed Richards,
分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》
后者为惊奇的系列漫画
苏珊?斯汤 斯蒂芬?史催博士
Sue Storm,Stephen Strange,
分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》
奥拓?八爪博士和银影侠
Otto Octavius,Silver Surfer,
出自《蜘蛛侠》
彼得?帕克 还有最夸张的
Peter Parker,oh,and worst of all,
出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》
小约翰?约拿?詹姆森
J. Jonah Jameson,Jr.
好吧 我要插在你前面
Okay,I'm cutting.
免得斯坦?李被你惹毛了我遭殃
I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you chee him off.
《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声
嗨
Hey.
谢尔顿进了监狱
Sheldon's in jail.
啥 谢尔顿进了监狱?!
Sh
eldon's in jail?!
被你说中了
You called it.
-怎么搞的 -你觉得呢
- For what? - What do you think?
就是他平时一贯的找抽风格
For doing the same crap he always does,
只不过法官不吃这一套
except to a judge.
他不道歉就出不来
He has to stay in there until he apologizes.
那就让他道歉啊
So tell him to apologize.
多谢提醒 莱纳德
Oh,gee,thanks,Leonard.
你以为我没想过吗
That didn't occur to me.
如果他五点前还不道歉
If he doesn't apologize by 5:00,
就得在监狱里过夜了
he is going to spend the night in jail.
哦不 真是糟糕
Oh,no,that's terrible.
哇 队伍动了 挂了 回见
Ooh,the line's moving. Got to go. Bye.
有人吗
Excu me?
狱卒在吗
Excu me,jailor?
咋了
What?
我要上厕所
I need to u the restroom.
在那边 自便
Knock yourlf out.
这算是马桶?
That's the toilet?
不然你以为是许愿池吗
Well,it ain't a wishing well.
请转告法官 我准备向他道歉
Plea tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.
看啊
Look at that.
"致吾友 莱纳德
"To my friend,Leonard.
惊奇漫画的一个系列 后改称Loners
独行侠 斯坦?李"
From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"
牛逼
Awesome.
我上面写的是 "致吾友 霍华德"
Mine says,"To my friend,Howard.
独行侠 斯坦?李
From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"
我上面写的是 "致拉杰 斯坦?李"
Mine says,"To Raj,from Stan Lee."
因为你纠结他的角色名 把他惹毛了
That's 'cau you pisd him off about his character names.
搞毛
Hey,
前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员 后者出自《蜘蛛侠》
我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔
I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,
分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》
马特?默多克和小辣椒波兹
Matt Murdock,Pepper Potts,
末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》]
Victor Von Doom,
还有最夸张的
oh,and worst of all,
惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列
米莉模特
Millie the Model.
我们回来了
We're home.
伙计 情况如何
Oh,hey,buddy. How'd it go?
你明明都知道了还问个屁
You know very well how it went.
是啊 但我们想听你亲口说
Yeah,but we all want to hear it from you.
我被判有罪 还被罚了533美元
I was found guilty and fined $533.
我会写张支票给你
I'm going to write you a check for that.
只要你答应我藏在抽屉里
As long as you promi to put it in your drawer
别去兑换 就和其他那些东西一样
and never cash it,like the others.
我还没有驾照
I also now have three points
但上面已经被扣了三点
on a driver's licen I do not yet posss,
还被迫道了个冤枉歉
and I was forced to issue an underved apology,
只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前
simply becau I refu to urinate
就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿
in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
再加上 你错过了和斯坦?李见面
Plus,you d
