every moment of my life

DearMomandDad,

Althoughthere'snorhymeorreason,I'veneverreallybeenthetypeofpersontoexpresshowI

tellyoueverydaythatIloveyouboth,butsometimessaying"Iloveyou"

isn'mes,"Iloveyou"doesn'tentirelyexpressjusthowdeeplyIcarefor

thetwoofyou,atleastthat',withoutanyexplanation,Itendtoshyaway

fromtalkingaboutemotionsorsubjectsofthatmatterwhichI'msureyou'vealreadyrealized.I

guessthisiswhyI',beforeIgooffonatangentasIsooften

do,here'verythingI'vealwayswantedtosay.

youcouldsaythat

uscared

thatday?WhatwasitlikehearingthedoctorstellyouthatIwouldn'tlivepast21/2yearsold?Or

thatIhadsomeraregeneticdisorderthat,atthetime,noonereallyknewabout?Ican'teven

begintoimaginethepainitmusthavecaud.I'msosorryyouhadtoexperiencethis,butlook

ghmylifejourneystartedoffrather

grievousandunpredictable,Iwasn'tabouttoletmydiadecidemyfate.

OurliveshavebeenputtothetestmoretimesthanIcanremember,butthere'sneverbeena

situationwecouldn'''vebeena

team,always,andwe'vefoughtthrougheverycurveballlifehasthrownatus,h

that,oufor

holdingmethrougheverytearandeverymomentofuncertaintyasIquestionedmyabilityto

fightthroughanotherhardship,oufordoingeverythinginyourpowerto

ouforallowingmetolivethemostfulfillinglife

possible.

BelievemewhenIsayIwouldn'tbewhereIamtodayifitweren'tfortheundyingloveand

essoverthelast23yearsaresolely

attribute

sofweakness,e

unlfishlyputmyneedsbeforeyourown,andyouarethereasonI'veprogresdsowelland

avehadourfairshareofdifficultiesalongtheroadbutwehave

eachother,andthat'sallIcouldeveraskfor.

Momanddad,attheendofthedayasIdriftofftosleep,IthinkabouthowincrediblyluckyIam

deveryday,Himformy

brother,mygoodhealthand,mostimportantly,tmaynotalwaysemthis

way,'sjustthatsometimesIletmy

demonsgetthebestofme,aidbefore,Ihaven'tquitefiguredout

kefullaccountabilityforallthotimesI've

,neImustnotbetoo

pleasantwhenIactthisway,butpromimeyou'eI

pethisletterexpresshowmuchIreallymeanwhenIsaythowordstoyou.

Lovealways,

Yourbabygirl

ALettertomyParents...

DearMomandDad:

Thankyouforspendingsomuchofyourtime,loveandmoneyinyoureffortsto

makeacaring,responsible,etaughtmeso

manythings-love,responsibility,kindness,respectforothersopinions,beliefs,

throughthis

youhavebeenexcellentrolemodels--almost.

Whydon'ttherulesemtoapplywhenyoucometowatchmeplaysports?The

samepeoplewhotaughtmeallthewonderfulthingsyellouttheteamformakingmistakes,

andworyet,ream

attherefs,poundonthebench,shriekatthecoach,andcrushmewiththeremarkslike,

“Getyourheadinthegame!"

ou

'tyouencouragemewithremarks

like,"That'sokay!Goodtry!You'llget"emnexttime!"

Betteryet,whydon'tyousitquietlyandclapandcheerwhentheteamdoes

somethingright?Whydoyoufeelyoumustcupyourhandsandscreechoutordersso

loudlythatwecan'tevenhearwhatthecoachhastosay?Evenwhenyouyellprais,

youbarkthemoutsoloudlyit'ealizetheotherparentsdon't

evenwanttositnearyou?Youarenotonlyanembarrassmenttome,buttoourteam,our

school,andourfans.

Plearememberthatyouareapartofach

I'vebeenstudyinghereforthreemonthsnow,andthisisthefirstchanceI''s

,I'youreadon,Ithinkyoushould

sitdown.I'mdoingquitewell,torssaythere'llbefarlesspermanentdamagetomy

itwhenIjumpedoutofmybedroomwindow–thebuildingcaught

penttwoweeksinhospital,andIcanealmostperfectlyinone

eyenow,andtheheadacheshavebeengettinglessfrequent.I'vebeenworkingreallyhardsinceI

lefthospital,butit'sreallydifficulttostudywithonlyoneeye,andwalkinglibraryisalmost

tI'vetoldyoumynews,youprobablyfeelalittle

…youneedn't!Thetruthisthattherewasnofire,mylegisn'tbroken,Icane

perfectlywellandIdon'r,Ihavegotterriblemarksinallmysubjects–“E”

inhistoryand“D”inscience–andIwantedyoutounderstandthatthingscouldbewor!Your

lovingdaughterSamanthaPS:Sorryaboutthejoke!

Hopeyouforgiveme!

IdecidedtowriteyouanoteforMother’sDay.I’msurethisemsoutofcharacter,asInormally

eschewallholidaysthatdon’syearIlookedatthejugoffancy

conditionerIhadboughtyouforyourMother’sDayprent,andIthought:oneday,this

ncy

conditionerwon’’u’llhaveelevenmonthsof

wonderingifyourmiddledaughtertrulyappreciatesyou.

eithaspasdfromthisworld,it’sjust...gone.

deredartworkandfurnitureandknicks

r,eniceprintsand

ustymetalscissorsandtwistedlicenplateshangingonmine.

Andwhatismorepermanentthanthewrittenword?Nothing.*

*withthepossibleexceptionofGangnamStyle

Herewego.

IknowIhaven’berwellthatIwasasmall,cranky,

sullen,black-hearted,’t

Iatethesamefourorfiveitemsforweeksonendandthen,justasyou

hadstockedthehouwiththeabacklogoftheitems,Iwouldremovethemvocallyfrommy

diet.I’,atleastIknewyou

weren’tstarvingme,right?

ery

particularplanformylifeandwhenIbecameinterestedinsomething,Iwouldobssivelypursue

fallmyhairbecauIknewyoudidn’twantmeto.I

tracedsooftenandgotsomanyspeedingtickets

oreblackallthe

time.

Iwasjustterrible.

Butdespitemyterribleness,ally

nowthatIhavemyownchildren**.IguessItookitforgrantedhowyoualwayshadanart

hadThing1andThing2,I

didn’trealizehowmuchtimeandconsiderationittooktopreparesomethinglikethatevery

kallofustothelibrarynearlyeveryweekandletusbrowinthe

,Ididn’teventhinkabouthowyoumighthaveotherwaysyouwanted

nthoughyouwereallergictodogsandcats,wehadabouta

berthinkingyouwerebeingunfairbydrawingthelineat

tyousaidthiswiththetraditionaltissueyoukeptinyourpocket—forwhen

shedwewere!HOWABOUTA

LIZARD,MOM?AKOMODODRAGON?

**Atfirst,Ityped“myownkids”thereandthenIthought...no,nowthatIhavegoats,thatis

toounspecific.

Igrewupsurroundedbyallsortsofdifferentartstuffsandbooksandscratchpaperandmusical

instrumentsandIjustthoughtthat’showeverybodylived.

Man,ittakesabilliontyhoursaweekformetopulloffevenaquarterofwhatyoudidwithme

don’dn’twantyoutothinkI

didn’didn’tatthetime,latethannever,right?

Here’sthemostimportantthing:younevertoldmeIcouldn’tbeawriteroranartistora

aysmadesureIhadthetoolstolearnhowtobethebestwriterandartistand

urbumpsalongtheway,butreally,youwerethereateverystep

ritwastakingmetothelibraryorttingme

upwithclayorhurriedlypackingmystuffintoacarsoIcouldswitchtoacollegewithaMusic

Compositiondegreetwoweeksbeforethemesterbegan...andthenhelpingmeswitch

collegesagainwhenIlefttownaftermymorningclasssixweekslater.

Atthetime,Ithought,ofcour.

Now...well,everyleastntmetoadistantboardingschool

withpaddedwalls.

ThanksformakingmewhoIam,Mom.

Love,

Maggie