hitandrun

HouOfCards2013S01E01

Jesus!Didyougetagoodlook?-IonlysawablueCamry.

It'sWharton',man.-He'snotgonnamakeit.

Goeifthey''sok.

Therearetwokindsofpain.

Thesortofpainthatmakesyoustrong...orulesspain...

Thesortofpainthat'opatienceforulessthings.

Momentslikethisrequiresomeonewhowillact...ordotheunpleasantthing,or

...-Nomorepain.

Itwasahitandrun,I'mawfullysorry.

Hemusthavejumpedoverthefenceagain.

Steve'sgonnafileareportonthecar,he’llputhispeopleonit.

We'lltrackthemdown.

You'e?

Oh,ehim?No.

DoIbelieveinhim?That'sbesidethepoint.

Anypoliticianthatgets70millionvoteshastappedintosomethinglarger

thanhimlf,largerthanevenmeasmuchasIhatetoadmitit.

Lookatthatwinningsmile,thotrustingeyes.

Ijustknowthemearlyon,andmademylfvital.

After22yearsincongressIcansmellwhichwaythewindisblowing.

Oh,JimMatthews,hisright,honorableVicePresident.

FormerGovernorinPennsylvania.

isheart.

Andnowthey'reabouttoputhimouttopasture.

Buthelookshappy,nowdoesn'the?

Forsome,it'ssimplythesizeofthechair.

LindaVasquez,Walker'schiefofstaff.

'sawoman,tina,check.

Butmoreimportantthanthat,she'sastoughasatwo-dollarsteak

Check,check,check.

WhenitcomestotheWhiteHou,younotonlyneedthekeysinyourback

dthegatekeeper.

Asforme,I’mjustalowlyhoumajoritywhip.

IkeepthingsmovinginaCongresschokedbypettiness,andlassitude.

Myjobistoclearthepipes,andkeepthesludgemoving.

ButIwon'thavetobeaplumbermuchlonger.I'vedonemytime.

Ibackedtherightman.

etoWashington.

nk?Alittletrim.

Whatareyougonnawear?Youmeanforthemeeting?

Fortheannouncement.

I'mwearingmynavyblue,.

Youlookhandsomeinthatsuit.

Idon'tknowiftheywillannounceitbeforeyourboardmeeting.

Well,aslongasIcansaythedonationiscoming.

Assoonasit'sofficial,Sancorpwillwriteyouthecheck.

Thisisgoingtobeabigyearforus.

Youknow,themeeting'sonTuesday.

You'regonnawannastartwithsomething...Anyideawhat?

Iwouldsayimmigration,bankingoreducation,but...Noneofmyregular

e...

Theydon'tknow,orbecauthey'renottalking?

Becautheydon'tknow.-Keepatit,getmesomething.

Sorry,I'...Barnes-Ofcour.

Didittakehimayeartorememberyourname?-Longer.

Goodmorning,nIdoforyou,Zoe?

IamsickoftheFairfaxcountycouncil.

online.

erson,subjective,500words.

Notgonnahappen.-I'oms,theurinals!

I'edaplacetovent.

Agossipcolumn?-''sreallygoingon.

ThisistheWashingtonHerald,'snot...TMZ-

DoyouknowhowmanypeoplewatchTMZ?

Icouldn'tcareless-Whichiswhyprintjournalismisdying.

twiththispaper.

Youarestuckinthe20thcentury,Lucas,youlackimagination.

Maybeso,butrightnowIdon'tneedimagination,Ineedcopy.

Yournightsandweekendsareyours,Iapplaudwhateveryouwanttodo,aslong

asit'snotonmytime.

You'retellingmetogetbacktowork?Iam.

Whatyou'rereallytellingmeistofuckoff.-I'mtellingyouboth.

It'nalready,fromProvenceTrust.

Holdmycalls,'sgoodtoeyou.

Howlongareyouintownfor?-Justtoday.

What?okyouup.

Howaboutyouhookmeupwiththezoninglawsyoupromidtogetchanged?

Wegot12millionssittinginescrowforanemptylotwecan'tbuildon.

Iknow,butyougottaunderstand...

It''tjustpickupthephone...

Youcan't?Becauthat'snotwhatyouleadustobelievewhenyoubeggedfor

50grandindonations.

-Right,I...Justonecond.

Christina,Isaidnocalls,notwhileI'n.

ThePresident-elect?Doyoumind?-No,goaheadplea.

PuthimtroughChristina.

ent-elect?,wewerepleadtowinbydoubledigits.

Absolutely,anythingyouneed.

Ineedyoutoputyourlong,wet,talentedtonguebetweenmythighs

andmakemesqueallikeMonicaLewin....

Okay,thankyou,sir.I'msosorry...Wherewerewe?

Walker...what'shelike?

ThePresident-electrunninglate?No,hecouldn'tmakeit.

I’llbriefhim,.

Thisisthememo,

I'vedrafted,onourMiddleEastpolicywe'vebeendeveloping.

Now,IwanttoborrowfromReagan.

I'dliketocointhephra“trickle-downdiplomacy".

Thatway...-Frank.I'mgonnastopyouthere.

WearenotnominatingyouforSecretaryofState.

Iknow,hemadeyouapromi,butcircumstanceshavechanged.

Thenatureofpromis,Linda,isthattheyremainimmunetochanging

circumstances.

Garethhasthoughtlongandhardaboutthis.

Andhe'sdecidedweneedyoutostayinCongress.

Whenwasthisdecisionmade?Andwhywasn'tIpartoftheconversation?

I'msorry,Frank,ifithadbeenuptome,

Iwouldn'thavewaitedthislongtotellyou.

Soyouknew,youweregoingtodothis.

'sachicken-shitmove.

Frank...-taru?No.

Let'sbeabsolutelyclear,youwouldn'thavewonwithoutme.

You'reright,tmeansmakingtoughchoices.

Asyouknow,educationisatoppriorityforus.

Acompletefederaloverhaul.

Butit'snotjusttheeducation,Frank,Congresshassplit.

Weneedyouthere,morethanweneedyouintheStateDepartment.

Igotyouhired,ons,endorments.

Iwrotethecampaign'ntireforeignpolicyplatform.

IbringyearsofForeignAffairsCommittee....

isionismade.

Weneedyou,ustandbesideusornot?

Ofcour,ifthat'swhatthePresidentwants.

I'mverygladtohearthat.I'ethenwho?

lKern?Well...thatisanexcellentchoice.

Canwemakeitlookclear?

Ijustwanttomakesureitdoesn'tlooklikewe'reneglectingourdomestic...

No,no,no,no...I'.

Andwe'rebringingonaneworganizationtohelpus.

Theyknowwhichoneyet?I'mstilllookingintoafewoptions,but,um...

Tellme,couldhirehowmanynewpeople.

Six?Six,'llhaveenough.

Ooh,it'?This,uh,newdirectionwe'reheading.

Ijustdon'tknowwherewe'regonnafitallthepeople

Well,doyouthinkwe'llhavetolookintoadditionalspace?

No,no.I'llfindaway.

Okay,'smeetagain,at14.30.

-'sme.

back.

Whatisit,Zoe?

Um,Iknewyou',...

Ifyouneedsomeonetodorearch,or...Orpunchoutbackground.

IthinkI'llbefine.

Well,ifthingsgethectic,andyouneedanyhelp...

Soyoucanblogaboutrubbingshoulderswiththebigboys.

Wh...WhatdidLucastellyou?Look,nooffence,Zoey,

ButIdon'thavetimetobeanyone'strainingwheels.

Ijustthought...-No,Iwasjustactuallyofferingtolendahand.

That'.

n'...-Youdidn'tcallme,Francis.

Ninehours,youdon'nit''reright.

Whenhaveweeveravoidedeachother?Iwantedasolutionfirst.

Doyouhaveone?fectsmetoo,Francis.

Andit'snotthemoneyI''sthatwedothingstogether.

Whenyoudon'tinvolvemeweareinfreefall.

IshouldhavecalledyouandIdidn'ppened?

ShesaystheyneedtokeepmeinCongress.

Lindasaidthat?Walkerwasn'teventhere.

That''thavethecouragetolookmeintheeye.

Iknewyoushouldn'ttrustthatwoman.-Ididn't,Idon'ttrustanyone.

Thenhowcouldyounotethiscoming.

Ineverthoughttheywerecapable.

Youdon'tusuallyunderestimatepeople,

Hubris...uldbeangry.

I''teit.

Whatdoyouwantmetodo?Screamandyell?throwatantrum?

IwantmorethanI'meing,you’rebetterthanthis,Francis.

Well,I’,thatIwon'taccept.

What?anddoesn'me.

Howlonghaveyoubeenup?Hours.

.

We'plans.

tedthat.

Itdoesn'tworryme.

Ibettergettowork.

yblueone.

ermorethansharksloveblood.

President-electGarrettWalker...Whydoyouthinktheywentwithhim?

We'n’taffordtolousincongress.

Isthatworkdone?Chintuckprobably,definitelydieshishair.

Dowesayanything?No,Godno.

?

-Canceleverything,Stanfordyou',look...

Theyhavedoneusagreatfavor,Doug.

Wearenolongerboundbyourallegiances,wervenoone.

Welivebyoneruleandoneruleonly:

Neveragainwillweallowourlvestobeputinsuchaposition.

WalkerandVasquez?hemallaccountable

Youwantretribution?No,no.

It'tepback.

Lookatthebiggerpicture.

IthinkIewhatyou'regettingat.

Kernfirst?That'showyoudevourawhale,onebiteatatime.

Whowouldyouwant?forcretaryofstate?-

Givemealistofchoicesandhoweverwedothis,we’llalsoneedabuffer.

,someonewecontrolcompletely.

I'.

Ihaven'teatensinceyesterday.

'tchootobeputonmyplatter.

WhenIcarvehimupandtosshimtothedogsonlythenwillheconfrontthat

!

AllIeveramountedtowaschitlins

andhethatshallhumblehimlfshallbeexalted.

Matthew,Chapter23ver12.

ThanksbetoGod.

-I'dliketospeaktodayonthesubjectof

Humility.

Alotofyouhavejustwonre-election.

Ifyouhaven'tyoumightnotbesittinghere.

Andofcourweshouldenjoyoursuccessandbegratefulforitbutneverlet

yourgratitudesourintopride.

You'llhavemanychallengesaheadoverthenextcoupleofyearsandaperson's

characterisn'tdeterminedbyhowheorsheenjoysvictory,butratherhowheor

sheenduresdefeat.

Nothingcanhelpunduredarktimesbetterthanourfaith.

,you?

Goodhowareyou?Good.

I'msorry,it'sjustnotright.

CharlesandIcannotunderstandwhatWalterwasthinking.

Oh,that'sverysweetofyou.

Butreally,betweenyouandme,IthinkFrancisisrelieved.

HejustfeelsmuchmoreathomeinCongress.

Iwouldhavebetamilliondollarstheyweregonnapickyou.

Well,it'sagoodthingyouhaveamilliondollarstospare.

ciateyousayingthat.

Imean,Michael?Comeon,he’sgothalftheexperience..

Garrettisasmartman,heknowswhathe'sdoing.

You'reabiggermanthanI,Frank.

You,ah..Youwantsomeofthatwine?Yes,definitely.

Man,idyougetit?

IkindalifteditfromtheVIProomofthespeaker'sholidayparty.

I'mimpresd!Bordeaux,20yearsold?

Ah,itemedaboutrightforyou.-Ouch!

Whywouldyousaythattome?I'malmostthirty.

It''tdiscriminatewhenitcomestoage.

Really?Whenwasthelasttimeyouhireda40yearoldstuffer?

Doesn'tmeanthatIwouldn'asshe'sgoodinthesack.

'strue,isn'tit?

Whereisthiscomingfrom?

You'renotgonnajusttossmeasideforsomeslutstrayoutofVassar.

SorryI'minthatconversation.

It'sbeensixmonths,it'snotalittleofficeflinganymore.

hichstartswithan'L'.

.I'llsaythem.

ChristinaGallagher...lickmyballs!Ohmy..you'reabastard.

Hey!ouChristina.

,willyoulickmyballs?

So,I'atrons,benefactorsorlepers?

Believeitornot,we'reangels.

I'.

CanIhaveyourjacket?

Areyougoingtobed?I'llbeupinabit.

Don',I'llberightthere.

Thankssomuch.I’!Ithoughtyouhadagoodtime.

Oh,it.I’veneverbeenbefore.

Well,,you'resosweet.

ButifIwasgonnafuckyou,you’somuch.

She'rin.

It'squiterareforapresident'schiefofstafftoclimbthehill，

Agestureofrespect,nodoubtordesperation.

I'mguessingshe'llsay,DonaldBlytheforeducation.

Let'seifI'mright.

Goodmorning,ousomuchformakingthetripup.

Ofcour,mypleasure.

tingchartfortheinauguration.

HowdothetwoworkforyouandClaire?

Theycomewithacomplementary,wetofticketstotheJeffersonball.

.I'msoglad.

So...education.

WehaveDonaldBlythedraftingthelegislation.

DonaldBlythe?.

SoyouwantabilljusttwostepsleftofKarlMarx.

Iadvidthepresident-electagainstit,butDonaldisthefaceofeducation.

He'tmetoguidehimtothemiddle.

Weneedabill,wecanpass.

DoIhaveabsoluteautonomyandauthorityonthis?

There'twantsthebillonthefloorinthefirsthundreddays.

Hewantstomakeapledgeinhisinauguraladdress.

Well,that's...That'sveryambitious,akethatpledge?

Ahundreddays?Icandeliver.

3-20

Keepmeposted.

I''ic.

Didyousmellthat?Thesmugness，thefaldeference.

ShethinksIcanbeboughtwithapairoftickets.

WhatamI,awhoreinpost-warBerlin,salivatingoverfreestockingsand

chocolate?

Whatshe'saskingwillcostfarmorethanthat.

Ferguson,er.

Really?He'ldn'ttheybedevastated?

outCatherineDurant?CathyDurant?

'sgottheexperience.

Setupameeting.

ationfromSancorp.

Themoneywillhavetocomefromsomewhereel.

God,whathappened?

I'velookedoverthebudgetforfiscal'13,andwe'veallocated1.6millionfor

tocutthatinhalf.

Well,you'resuggesting...Evelyn,we'regoingtoletsomepeoplego.

tocarveoutsomeroom.

Butyouwouldhavetofiresomeesntialpeoplewho'vebeenwithussincethe

beginning.

Weareacharity,butnotforouremployees.

Youknow,um,Claire,Ihaveheldmytongueaboutthiswholeinternationalthing

forawhile,butIdon'tgetit.

Imean,wearereallygoodatwhatwedo.

Whydowehavetotryandbesomethingwe'renot?

Becauwe'veplateaued,Evelyn,anditistimeforus,forourentire

organization...

What,diggingWellsinAfrica?Wedon'tknowanythingaboutthat.

Whichiswhywehavetobringinnewpeople.

ThisistheplanthatI'vepropodtotheboard,andwearemovingforwardwith

it.I'dlikealistofnames,plea.

Claire,couldwejustthinkaboutthis?Ihavethoughtaboutit.

I',butIthinkthatwecanreally...-Evelyn.

You'retheofficemanager.

IneedyoutotrustthatIknowwhatI'mdoing,sopleagetmethatlistassoon

aspossible.

Oh,ma'am,youcan'tgoupthere.I'...

,tacome...

Sir,man...

ssman.-Miss,youneedtostepaway

fromthefellow.

ayfromthe...Whoareyou?

MynameisZoeBarnes.I'mareporterattheWashingtonherald.

Itisafter10:30atnight,andthisismyhome.

Idonotallowany..We'repartofamutualadmirationsociety.

You'reafanofthesymphony.

Well,moreforthepeoplewatchingthanthemusic.

It'sallright,in,missBarnes.

It'referitweak?

onger,'snoharminlooking.

It''scheapbuteffective.

Well,youcertainlyhavemyundividedattention.

sonI'mhere...

Oh,isforeplayover?

Ireadsomewherethatjfkneverlastedmorethanthreeminutes.

Thepointbeing?Timeisprecious.

Powerfulpeopledon'thavetheluxuryofforeplay.

Okay,sowhyareyouhere,?IneedsomebodyIcantalkto.

We'whatwe'retalkingabout.

'llneveraskany

questions.

AndwhatmakesyouthinkIdon'talreadyhavesuchanarrangementwithoneof

yourcolleague.

Becauifyoudid,youwouldn'thaveletmethroughthedoor.

I'veledaverylong,verysuccessfulcareeravoidingthissortofintriguewiththe

press.

Ican'teanyadvantageinstartingnow...

Butisthereanydisadvantage?Sloppiness,forone.

Ipromiyouabsolutediscretion.

So,we'retalkingabouttrust.

atterverymuch,.

Youshouldcaremoreaboutthem,,yes...

,whichZoeyBarnesamItotrust?

Theonewhowroteaboutthefiremanthatmarriedthemetermaid?

OrtheonewhoauthoredaveryfinearticleonanewjoggingpathinRockcreek

Park?

Don'tbeflattered,Ireadeverything.

I'mbetterthanwhattheyhavemedoing.

?

You'dhavemadeagreatcretaryofstate.

HowexactlymayIhelpyou,MissBarnes?

Youmustknowtheadministration’slegislativeagenda,what'scomingupfirst.

Imay.

Willyoutellme?-Whatwouldbeyourguess?

Education.-Why?

Im-immigrationistoocontroversial.

Taxreformisn'necangetbehindchildren.

Isiteducation?-Youmightverywellthinkthat.

Icouldn'tpossiblycomment

Ahint.

It'slate,missBarnes.-Canwetalkagain?

Ihopeyou'llunderstandthatIwannasleeponallthis.

Inevermakesuchbigdecisionssolongaftersuntandsofarfromdawn.

Mycellphone'sontheback.

DidyouputmissBarnesinthevisitors'ledger?

'ss.

-!

justleaving.

Verynicetomeetyou,ood.

'salotoficeontheroad.

ou.

Doesthatworkonanybody?Doeswhat?

,ifitdoes,Idon'tknowwhotheyare.

Okay,-Licenandregistration.

Uh,theglovecompartment,sweetheart.

Thisisn'tyourdriver'’saStarbuckscard.

Oh,.

Sir,haveyoubeendrinking?No,Ineverdrinkcoffeeatthishour.

I'mgoingtoneedyoutostepoutofthecar.

Hey,ifIwasspeeding,youcanwritemeaticket...

Sir,ow.

Look,Idon'twanttobeaprick,butI'mamemberof...Ofcongress.

Idon'tcareifyou’rethekingofChina.

Chinadoesn'th-aveaking.

It'sacommunist"agua-larchy."

Oligar..."Oliguarchy."-Let'.

You,too,'shardtosay.

.-Good...

Well,let'sgethimout.

MindifIjoinyou?Whatthefuckisgoingon?

IthoughtIwasmeetingwiththecongress...No,you'remeetingme.

Igotacitycouncilmeeting...

You'vebeenpolicecommissionerforwhat,almostadecadenow?

We'reheretotalkaboutmyresume?

"MayorofD.C."wouldlookgoodonthatresume,wouldn'tit?

Weknowthatyou'vebeenanglingtorunforsometime.

Experienceisyourstrongsuit.

Endormentandfundraising,they'elpwiththat.

'refreetogo.

noughtogetpulledover.

ButIwasn'ualone?Yes.

,watchtheroad.

...Iwasalone.

Youcannotkeepdoingthis,Peter.

It'.

DoyouthinkwecanarrangetwomoreatourtablefortheJeffersonball?

Forwhom?TheHolburnes.

I'ffcutsarejustnotenough.

Howarewedoing?-ss.

rons,butIlovefire.

Yes...Ah.

Whatareyou...-Thebillisgarbage,Donald.

Taxincreas,banonvouchers,federaloversight..

Howdoyouexpectmetogetthatthroughacommittee?

WhenLindatoldmetowriteit,shepromid..

I'msureshesaidanynumberofthings.

Theywantyournamebecauitcarriesweight.

Well,mynamecomeswithmyideas.

Iunderstand,butyou’vegottobereasonable.

Thisisn’'saboutpassingmeaningfulreform.

Maybenoteverythingyouwould’vehoped,buthelpmehelpyou.

That'sgoingtotaketime.

I...thoideas,I'vebeendevelopingthemfor...-Ifit'stimeyouneed,Iwill

buyyoutime,butyou'vegottopromimeyournext-at-batisgoingtogiveme

somethingIcanworkwith.

Okay,Frank,I'llewhatIcando.

,Donald,don'tletthisgetyoudown,allright?

Togetherwe'regoingtodomorethanyou’vebeenabletodoin25years.

Twothingsarenowirrelevant...

DonaldBlytheandDonaldBlythe'snewdraft.

EventuallyI'llhavetorewritethebillmylf.

Forward!Thatisthebattlecry.

menogood.

'salongroadtoconfirmation.

Kernisaboyscouts.

Nobody'nboyscouts.

Whatdoyouhave?Absolutelynothing.

Thenwhatarewetalkingabout?

ejobinterestyou?

WhywouldyouwantMichaelgone?Cathy,youandIcameuptogether.

Theforeignaffairscommitteeneedsacretarywecanworkwith,someonewho

isn'tafraidtostanduptoWalkerwhenhe'swrong.

Weneedyou.

Let'sassumeIaminterested.

Idon'twanttoassume.

Iwanttoknow.

Ok...2,6,3,7.

nes.

Anywhereyouwant.-Onmyway.

I'mgonnahavetocallyouback.

n'takeatrain...

Justbeforeyouleftmyhou...

Thinkback...Whatwerewediscussing?

Thepresident'slegislativeagenda.-ion.

WasIright?Dothemath,missBarnes.

redby...--You?Besmarterthanthat.

.

Andwhoscreamslegitimacyandeducation?

DonaldBlythe?blemis...--He'sanold-schooltax-and-spend

liberal.

Walkerranasamoderate.

Youthinkblythewouldtalktome?

Hedoesn'thaveto.-Wait.

We'reinaverygrayarea...Ethically,legally...

WhichI'mokaywith...-'tyou?

We'reinthesameboatnow,Zoe.

lysaveoneofusfromdrowning.

HeannounceshiducationinitiativeonMonday.

Halfoftheaddressisbadon...

edtotakeitout?We'refine,Linda.

Butyoujustgotthroughsayinghehastostartover.

Ididn'.

Youputhiminmylapandaskedmetoworkamiracle,,havea

littlefaith,Linda.

hatcanbeaccomplishedin100days.

Allright,'recountingonyou.-Good.

Now,Idohavealittlefavortoask.

DoyouthinkIcangetjusttwomoreticketsformytableattheJeffersonball?

Drink?Uh,sure!Whatdoyougot?

'reoffering.

So...howarethingsinthecityofbrotherlylove?

We'regettingby.

.

Oh,I'want...

No,thisisperfect.

So...itemsyou'?

Don'tplaydumbwithme,fortheethicscommittee.

ldualittlecouragerightnow.

You''sabitearlyinthedayforme.

Isthisabouttheothernight?Howdoyouknowaboutthat?

I'’smyjobtoknow.

Look...look,theyletmeoff.

There's...there'’salltakencareof.

Honestly,Peter,doyoureallythinkthethingsjusttakecareofthemlves?

You...

Itwasjustthisonetime,toGod.

ThenyoumustholdGodinverylowesteem,becauwebothknowthat'salie.

Solicitation,controlledsubstances,drivingundertheinfluence...

Gotquitealonglistofhobbies.

Whatisityouwant?

Yourabsolute,unquestioningloyalty.

isunderstandwhatImeanby"loyalty."

,Frank.

Youemfartoorelaxed.

I'mnot.

Youshouldn'llbeintouch.

aveyoubeen?

I'ody’sworkingdouble-timeinaninauguration,and

youjustupanddisappear...

allyouback.

Wheredidyougetthis?Wrongquestion.

Therightquestionis,howquicklycanwegetituponthesite?

Ihavetorunthispasttom.

Let'rewe'renotbreakinganylaws.

Youwon'ttellmeyoursource?

Ican',butiflegalfindvenone...

gdoyouthinkthatwilltake?Weshouldgetthisonline

rightaway.

I'mnotjustgoingtoscana300-pagedocumentIdidthatalready.

Thewholething?Covertocover.

I'vegotexcerpts,analysis.3000wordsreadyforediting.

Starttoworkhere.

thetables,charts,thewholenineyards.

Janine!

'stheangle?tofcenter.

That'rleftofcenter.

EnoughtoputWalkeronhisheels?'llputhimonhisass.

What'sup?

We'vegotacopyoftheadministration’ducationbill.

You'regoingtoworkwithZoeanddobackgroundcover.

ZoeBarnes?ersheneeds.

Well,shouldn'tIbewritingthe...-Shewroteitalready.

AndIwantyoutorewriteit,’llhelpher.

Tom,Iamyourchiefpoliticalcorrespondent.

Go!edtofocusontheinauguration.

Thisismoreimportant.

-Let'sgetstarted.

ThatIwillfaithfullyexecutetheoffice...Powerisalotlikerealestate.

ThatIwillfaithfullyexecutetheoffice...

’sallaboutlocation,location,location.

Thecloryouaretothesource,thehigheryourpropertyvalue.

Centuriesfromnow,whenpeoplewatchthisfootage,whowilltheyesmiling

justattheedgeoftheframe?

"SohelpmeGod."tulations.

Today...'saboutthenextfourdecades.

Now,you'veplacedyourfaithinme,andI,inturn,chootoplacethatfaithin

ourchildren.

Ourchildrenarethekeytothisnation'sfuture.

Andthat'swhythefirstorderofbusinessforthisadministrationwillbea

comprehensiveeducationreformbilltoproperlyfix,financeandstrengthenour

nation'sschools!

AndIpledgetoyou,

Wewillhavethatbillonthefloorofthecongresswithinthefirst100daysof

thisadministration!

Itwassoniceofyoutomakethispossible.

Whenyoucalledme,Iwas...-Oh,notanotherone.

I'mgonnamissoutonmyultimateFrisbeeleaguethisweek.

No,I'mrious.

Afewofusonbudgethavequitearivalrygoingwiththeguysonfinance.

It'hysical.

Anybodygetsbetweenmeandthatgoalline,

Iwilltakethatsuckerdown!

Donald,I'o,here,letmehelpyou

outwiththis.(outthere)Ireallyliketheworkyou’vedoneonthenewdraft.

It''regonnamakehistorytogether.

I'vegotsomeideasaboutsubsidiesforhighereducation...

Catherine!Holdontothatthought,Donald.

Don'tyoulookstunt!

-WeSoutherngirlscleanupwellwhenwegetoutofourDaisyDukesandinto

someVeraWang.

AndweSouthernboysareslowwithourwords,butwe'refastonourfeet.

MayIhavethehonor?Youmostcertainlymay.

Morning',rning,Frank.

How'stricks?Ican'tkick.

Youwanttogoonin?'tyoutmeupoutside?

Outside?It’sfreezingouthere.

Well,alittlecoldneverhurtanybody.

Anythingyousay,'llberightup.

Myoneguiltypleasureisagoodrackofribs,evenat7:30inthemorning.

Havethewholeplacetomylf.

WhereIcomefrominSouthCarolina,peopledidn'thavetwopenniestorub

together.

Arackofribsisaluxury,like...ChristmasinJuly.

Oh,fuck.

Thewebsitetrafficisabsolutelycrazy.

Doyouwantconds,Frank?

I'uwhat,Freddie?

Yes,Iwill.I'mfeelinghungrytoday.