生活大爆炸第四季

生活大爆炸第四季第三集

好的我准备好答下道题目了Allright,I'mreadyformynextquestion.

在一个犀牛被当宠物养的世界中Inaworldwhererhinocerosaredomesticatedpets,

谁将赢得第二次世界大战whowinstheSecondWorldWar?

乌干达Uganda.

理由Defend.

肯尼亚会因出口犀牛而崛起Kenyaristopowerontheexportofrhinoceros.

在中非成为一个强大的政权ACentralAfricanpowerblockisformed,

并殖民统治北非和欧洲colonizingNorthAfricaandEurope.

战争爆发后谁也负担不起养犀牛的这份奢侈Whenwarbreaksout,noonecanaffordthe

luxuryofarhino.

肯尼亚衰落乌干达雄起Kenyawithers,Ugandatriumphs.

回答正确Correct.

轮到我了Myturn.

在一个钢琴被当做武器而不是乐器的世界中Inaworldwhereapianoisaweapon,notamusical

instrument,

斯科特·乔普林会用什么来演奏《枫叶爵士》onwhatdoesScottJoplinplay"TheMapleLeafRag"?

调谐刺刀Tunedbayonets.

理由Defend.

理由不是显而易见吗Isn'titobvious?

你说得对我的错You'ogies.

你们俩在玩什么鬼游戏呢Whatthehellareyouguysplaying?

这是我们发明的一个游戏It'sagameweinvented.

我们称它为"反事实游戏"It'scalledCounterfactuals.

我们假定一个在某关键方面不同于这里的世界Wepostulateanalternateworldthatdiffersfrom

ours

然后互相就此发问inonekeyaspectandthenpoquestionstoeachother.

本游戏适合8至80岁人士It'sfunforageightto80.

一起来玩吧Joinus.

好吧Allright.

我也喜欢脑筋急转弯Ilikeagoodbraintear.

我来试试吧Giveitawhirl.

你走运了这道简单You'reinluck,thisisaneasyone.

在一个人类被高智商巨形海狸统治的世界中Inaworldwheremankindisruledbyagiant

intelligentbeaver,

哪种食物再也吃不到了whatfoodisnolongerconsumed?

BLT[培根生菜番茄三明治]吗其中B代表海狸Uh...aBLTwherethe"B"standsforbeaver?

我也说不准Idon'tknow.

莱纳德认真点Leonard,berious.

我们在玩游戏呢We'replayingagamehere.

我能答出来的让我想想'se.

海狸以树皮喂食Um,well,beaverattreebark.

我唯一了解的人类用得着树皮的食物是肉桂TheonlytreebarkIknowthathumansconsumeis

cinnamon.

所以我说是肉桂So,I'llsaycinnamon.

错误Incorrect.

答案很明显是芝士丹麦酥Obviously,theanswerischeeDanish.

你说啥What?

在一个被巨形海狸统治的世界中Inaworldruledbyagiantbeaver,

人类为取悦海狸的统治会修建许多水坝mankindbuildsmanydamstopleathebeaveroverlord.

哥本哈根因地势低洼会遭遇洪灾Thelow-lyingcityofCopenhagenisflooded.

数万人会死去Thousandsdie.

更毁灭的是丹麦人却从未以自己的名字给糕点命名Devastated,theDanesneverinventtheir

namesakepastry.

怎么会有人连这个都想不到呢Howdoesonemissthat?

这太荒谬了Thisisridiculous.

你们这是在捏造答案You'rejustmakingstuffup.

他输的时候总这样吗Ishealwayslikethiswhenhelos?

那当然了Oh,yes.

你要是能目睹08年讨论巨形野牛时的景象就好了Youshould'vebeenhereforthegreatgiant

tantrumof2008.

你掀的桌子自己清楚Youbumpedthetableandyouknowit.

或许我们应该玩个更适合他能力的游戏Perhapsitwouldbekindertoplayagamemoresuitedto

hisabilities.

等会儿你躲猫猫的时候我们会闭眼数到10We'llclooureyesandcounttotenwhileyouhide.

我回屋了I'mgoingtomyroom.

很好莱纳德Verygood,Leonard.

但下次你藏哪里无需提前告诉我们Butnexttime,don'ttelluswhereyou'rehiding.

你们看到《美国物理学报》关于超固体的论文了吗DidyouguysethepaperinTheAmerican

PhysicsJournalonsupersolids?

挺有趣的It'sprettyinteresting.

这个人从假说...Thisguy'sworkingfromahypothesiswhere...

剧透警报剧透警报Spoileralert!Spoileralert.

-咋了-别提前爆料-What?-Don'truinitforme,man.

我为了边蹲便壶边看把PDF文件都打出来了IprintedoutaPDFtoreadonthepotty.

便壶你多大了五岁吗Onthepotty?Whatareyou,five?

就是便便的地方嘛不然你说该叫什么It'youcallit?

厕所Toilet.

晚饭桌上这么叫不觉得有点粗俗了吗That'salittlevulgarforthedinnertable,don'tyouthink?

那"便壶"就不俗了吗Oh,and"potty"isokay?

"便壶"多纯真多可爱啊"Potty"isinnocent."Potty"isadorable.

那你去便便的地方干啥嘘嘘吗Whatdoyoudointhepotty,wee-wee?

如果我不必"嘣嘣"[大便]的话IfIdon'thavetoboom-boom.

各位好Greetings.

你们都记得艾米·菲拉·福勒吧YouallrememberAmyFarrahFowler.

-见到你很高兴-你好-Nicetoeyou.-Hello.

抱歉我们迟到了Sorrywe'relate.

对此我必须得承担责任Imusttakeresponsibility.

我不得不半路上买点女性卫生用品Ihadtostopforfemininehygienesupplies.

-这样啊-了解-Aha.-Okay.

我认为她正在经期当中Ibelieveshe'xperiencinghermens.

实际上还没到时候Actually,I'mnot.

但为了避免意外我得时刻带着卫生巾Inordertoavoidsurpris,Iwearthemallthetime.

-理解-非常了解-Aha.-Okay.

厕所现在听起来顺耳多了是吧"Toilet's"soundingprettygoodnow,huh?

瞧啊这不是谢米嘛Hey,look,it'sShamy.

谢米Shamy?

一个幼稚地混合我们名字的做法而已Ajuvenileamalgamationofournames.

谢尔顿艾米"谢米"Sheldon,Amy--Shamy.

这样啊Oh.

我不喜欢以后别这么叫了Idon''tdothat.

好吧有什么新鲜事吗'snew?

我刚才得知你称呼我们为"谢米"Well,justrecently,IlearnedthatyourefertousasShamy,

而我并不喜欢andIdon'tlikethat.

我了解了但我想问的其实是你生活上的新鲜事tIwasgoingforwas,youknow,

how'syourlife?

跟普通人没什么两样Likeeverybodyel's.

经历着万物的成长衰败和最终的死亡Subjecttoentropy,decayandeventualdeath.

谢谢你的问候Thankyouforasking.

为何她还没有给我们点餐呢Whyisshenottakingourorder?

我应该提前通知你的Ishould'vewarnedyou,

如果想在这里用餐前必须要经历连串onehastonavigatealabyrinthofsocialnonn

繁杂而无用的寒暄beforeonecanbefedhere.

是吗我以为既然起名叫芝士"工厂"Really?Iassumedanestablishmentcalled

做事就能更有效率呢theCheecakeFactorywouldfunctionmoreefficiently.

那是它们诱骗你来的伎俩It'showtheylureyouin.

我想这应该称为"诱饵推销法"Ibelieveit'scalled"baitandswitch."

好吧我还是遁走好了Okay,I'mjustgonnawalkaway,

因为我不想待在这了'cau...Idon'twanttobehere.

这真不错啊So,thisisnice.

我们第一次齐聚一堂来吃顿饭Firsttimewe'veallgottentogethertoeat.

你说得对他果然在进行无聊的饭前寒暄You'reright,he'safestivalofhumdrumchitchat.

好吧我没辙了Okay,that'sallIgot.

霍华德你上Howard,you'reup.

谈谈你的工作吧艾米Um...tellusaboutyourwork,Amy.

我怀疑你听不听得懂Idoubtyou'dunderstand.

谢尔顿告诉我你只有个硕士学位Sheldontellsmeyouonlyhaveamaster'sdegree.

拉杰你有没有问题问艾米Raj,doyouhaveanyquestionsforAmy?

我很好奇我们怎么不单独吃饭I'mcuriousastowhywe'renoteatingalone.

他们离不开我Theycan'tfunctionwithoutme.

我是凝聚这个小团体的粘合剂I'mthesocialgluethatholdsthislittlegrouptogether.

不用谢我You'rewelcome.

我能跟你谈谈你的女朋友吗Listen,canItalktoyouaboutyourgirlfriend?

她不是我的女朋友She'snotmygirlfriend.

她是女生也是我朋友She'sagirlandshe'smyfriend,

但绝对没有触摸或不洁的交换唾液butthere'snotouchingorunsanitaryexchangeofsaliva.

明白Gotit.

不过倒是有一次Although,fortherecord,ononeoccasion,

她舔了一下拇指然后帮我抹掉shelickedherthumbtoremoveraspberryjelly

嘴角上的树莓果冻fromthecornerofmymouth.

我们今天都为此后悔不已It'sanactionwebothregrettothisday.

明白Uh-huh.

不过我觉得她不太适合Anyway,I'mnotsureshe'sthebestfit

我们这个怎么说呢反抗军[星球大战]forourlittle--howshouldwecallit--rebelalliance.

我一直不认同反抗军Oh,Ineveridentifiedwiththerebelalliance.

尽管他们想建造死亡星球DespitetheirtendencytobuildDeathStars,

我一直支持银河帝国I'vealwaysbeenmoreofanempireman.

那不是我想说的Yeah,notmypoint.

我知道你想说什么Iknowwhatyourpointis.

你们被艾米的智慧吓着了You'reintimidatedbyAmy'sintellect.

我只能说振作点TothatIsay,buckup.

我直接说吧Okay,letmejustgetrighttoit.

艾米很爱批评人假正经而且Amyisjudgmental,sanctimoniousandfrankly...

很讨人厌justobnoxious.

那又如何So?

我们已经要忍受这样一个你了Sowealreadyhaveyouforallthat.

你这是建议我停止和艾米交往吗AreyousuggestingIterminatemyrelationshipwithAmy?

不当然不是No,no,ofcournot.

只是去别的地方交往Justhaveyourrelationshipsomeplaceel.

那我可得指出我忍气吞声整整八个月MayIpointoutthatforeightlongmonths,

忍受你女朋友在咱家Isufferedinsilenceasyourfemalecompanion

大声唱跑调的乡村音乐filledourapartmentwithheroff-keycountrymusiccaterwauling,

毫不知羞地在咱客厅theunappetizingspectacleofhergrindingapumicestone

用浮石磨长满老茧的脚againsthercalloudfeetinourlivingroom,

一夜接一夜地看andnightafternightofuninformative

毫无内涵的电视剧《泽西海滩》TVdocumentariesabouttheJeryShore.

忍气吞声Sufferedinsilence?

没错Yes.

我希望你也能这么做AndI'dthankyoutodothesame.

有没有搞错忍气吞声Reall--Silence?!

落基山脉清凉的泉水Nothingmakesbeertastebetter

最能带出啤酒的味道thancoolclearRockyMountainspringwater.

话说落基山脉在哪啊WherearetheRockyMountains,anyway?

费城[实际不是]Philadelphia.

真的吗Really?

我以为在西部呢IthoughttheywereoutWestsomeplace.

这样想拉杰Thinkaboutit,Raj.

电影《洛奇》的故事发生在哪里WheredidthemovieRockytakeplace?

费城Philadelphia.

我明白了Okay,nowIgetit.

这就是咱的计划吗Sothisistheplan?

从今天起Fromnowon,

我们就藏这里躲避谢米吗we'rejustgonnahideoutinheretoavoidtheShamy?

我觉得这里很舒服I'mverycomfortablehere.

佩妮亲爱的再给我来一剂"万灵弹"吧Penny,dear,whydon'tyoushootanothersilverbulletmy

way?

自己拿去Getoneyourlf.

某人吃了泼妇药哦Ooh,somebody'sbeentakingbitchypills.

老天他喝了酒真混蛋God,he'sanasswhenhedrinks.

他没喝酒也混蛋Oh,he'sanasswhenhedoesn't.

你只是没听到Youjustdon'thearit.

我们得考虑谢米恋Thinkweneedtostartentertainingthepossibility

发展数年的可能性thattheShamycouldgoonforyears.

那样的话佩妮得装卫星电视Well,ifthat'stheca,PennywillhavetogetsatelliteTV

而且每周吸一吸灰尘andmaybeonceaweekrunavacuumthroughthisplace.

你不是要跟谢尔顿谈吗IthoughtyouweregoingtotalktoSheldon.

-谈了-他怎么说-Idid.-Well,what'dhesay?

他指出他过去有点必须Well,hepointedoutthathekindasortahadto...

忍受你putupwithyou.

有点必须Kindasortahadto?

我没同意他的说法Ididn'tagreewithhim.

你帮我反驳了吧Well,youdefendedme,right?

我试了不过Itried,but...

他说的理由太充分了...hemadeafairlywell-reasonedargument.

你磨得不对You'renotdoingthatright.

什么What?

给我Gimme.

-不要-相信我-No.-Trustme.

-不要-我一直帮我妈磨脚-No!-Idothisformymomallthetime.

看到没See?

要顺着纹路摩Withthegrain.

哇确实好很多Wow,thatisbetter.

改天你要是得了静脉曲张Andsomeday,whenyouhavevaricoveins,

我再教你怎么推拿I'llshowyouhowtomassagethem.

天呐没有下次了Oh,God,neveragain.

你的"没有下次"应该是指不再Iassumeby"neveragain,"youmeanneveragainwillyoudrink

喝完佩妮的啤酒后跑去加油站allofPenny'sbeer,thenrundowntothegasstation

买两瓶40s啤酒一盒肉条foracoupleof40s,aboxofSlimJims

还有最新一期的《孟买美妞翘臀》吧andthelatestissueofBombayBadonkadonks.

人家想家了嘛Iwashomesick.

当晚最精彩的就是你展示Thehighlightoftheeveningwaswhenyoushowedus

你的宝莱坞霹雳舞技yourBollywoodbreakdancingskills.

你这样很没礼貌That'sveryoffensive.

没错我们当时也这么想Yeah,weallthoughtso.

晕Oh,no.

怎么了What?

约翰和洋子来了[列侬夫妇]It'sJohnandYoko.

更像洋子和洋子MorelikeYokoandYoko.

大家好.

我带了艾米来IbroughtAmyhere

看看我的工作toshowhersomeoftheworkI'mdoing.

对于理论工作来说很不错了It'sveryimpressive,fortheoreticalwork.

我好像察觉出一点屈就的意味DoIdetectahintofcondescension?

抱歉我说得太间接了吗I'msorry,wasIbeingtoosubtle?

我是指跟神经生物学Imeantcomparedtothereal-worldapplications

在现实中的应用相比理论物理就是ofneurobiology,theoreticalphysicsis--

怎么说好呢小巫见大巫what'sthewordI'mlookingfor?--hmm,cute.

你这是暗指神经生物学家的成就Areyousuggestingtheworkofaneurobiologist

例如巴宾斯基能上升到物理学家likeBabinskicouldeverritothesignificance

巴宾斯基法国神经学家

例如克拉克·麦克斯韦或狄拉克的层面ofaphysicistlikeClarkMaxwellorDirac?

克拉克·麦克斯韦：经典电动力学创始人狄拉克：量子力学奠基者之一

直截了当地说I'mstatingitoutright.

巴宾斯基把狄拉克当早餐BabinskieatsDiracforbreakfast

再排泄出克拉克·麦克斯韦anddefecatesClarke-Maxwell.

你给我收回那话Youtakethatback.

绝不Absolutelynot.

我和同事们正在绘制MycolleaguesandIaremapping

神经基质有利于theneurologicalsubstratesthatsubrve

促进全球信息处理globalinformationprocessing,

这种研究既要求认知推理whichisrequiredforallcognitivereasoning,

也包括科学探索由此事实可见includingscientificinquiry,makingmyrearchipsofacto

我的研究在认知序列上更高一层priorintheordocognoscendi.

这就说明比他的研究更高级Thatmeansit'sbetterthanhisrearch,

由此可推当然也胜过你们andbyextension,ofcour,yours.

不好意思我的大脑I'msorry,I'm-I'mstilltrying

还停留在理解排泄克拉克·麦克斯韦上toworkonthedefecatingClarkMaxwell,so...

不好意思但是统一场理论Excume,butagrandunifiedtheory,

在一定程度上解释了万物insofarasitexplainverything,

由此事实可见也能解释神经生物学willipsofactoexplainneurobiology.

是没错但要是我成功了Yes,butifI'msuccessful,

我就能绘制和再现你演算出Iwillbeabletomapandreproduceyourthoughtprocess

统一场理论的思维加工过程inderivingagrandunifiedtheory,

因此你的结论也得纳入我的范式andtherefore,subsumeyourconclusionsundermyparadigm.

那是卑劣的心理主义That'stherankestpsychologism,

早在19世纪90年代就被费雷格andwasconclusivelyrevealedashogwash

板上钉钉为是胡言乱语byGottlobFregeinthe1890s!

看来我们陷入了僵局Weappeartohavereachedanimpas.

同意Iagree.

我决定立即终止我俩的关系Imoveourrelationshipterminateimmediately.

赞同Seconded.

还有异议吗Therebeingnoobjections...

那么立即执行...themotioncarries.

日安艾米·菲拉·福勒Goodday,AmyFarrahFowler.

日安谢尔顿·库珀Goodday,SheldonCooper.

女人哈Women,huh?

没法和她们过日子Can'tlivewiththem,

也没法反驳她们的各种假设can'tsuccessfullyrefutetheirhypothes.

上帝保佑Amentothat.

好呀谢尔顿Hey,Sheldon.

你好Hello.

听说你和艾米分手了IhearyoubrokeupwithAmy.

说"分手"的话就说明她是我女朋友Abreakupwouldimplyshewasmygirlfriend.

她是个女孩曾经是我朋友Shewasagirlwhowasmyfriend

现在她还是个女孩但不是我朋友了whoisnowagirlwhoisnotmyfriend.

听着像史上最烂乡村民谣'sliketheworstcountrysongever.

你感觉如何So,howareyoudoing?

什么感觉Regardingwhat?

和艾米分手Amy.

我不懂Idon'tfollow.

分手...不管你怎么叫总是很难受的Well,breakups--orwhateverthehellthisis--canbetough.

佩妮放心我没事Penny,Iassureyou,I'mfine.

我和艾米只是纯粹智力上的关系MyrelationshipwithAmywaspurelyintellectual,

没有丝毫感情色彩Therewerenoemotionalbonds,

所以我也没有任何痛苦theveringofwhichwouldcaumeanydiscomfort.

这段关系只是失去效用罢了Therelationshipsimplyoutliveditsutility,

我也像从前一样继续生活andI'mcontinuingonwithmylifeasbefore.

好吧不错.

我得先走了要去买一只小猫咪Now,ifyou'llexcume,I'mofftobuyapussycat.

这事儿必须跟你们说一下Igottatellyouguys,

我有点担心谢尔顿I'malittleworriedaboutSheldon.

我们都有点担心谢尔顿We'reallalittleworriedaboutSheldon.

我是说自从谢米恋搁浅后No,ImeansincetheShamyhitareef.

我还以为你是一概而论呢Oh,Ithoughtyouwerejustmakingageneralization:

"我担心谢尔顿可能他某天""Youknow,I'mworriedaboutSheldon

会因为在咖啡馆吃不到酸橙果冻"somedayttingoffalow-yieldnucleardevice

就去引爆一个低爆炸力核装置becauthecafeteriaranoutoflimeJell-O."

搁浅是啥意思Whatdoes"hitareef"mean?

一拍两散Uh,wentsplitsville.

啥Pardon?

就是"屎了"Turnedtoboom-boom.

我觉得谢尔顿真的很想念艾米IthinkSheldonreallymissAmy.

你该把你的那本《孟买美妞翘臀》借给他YoushouldlendhimyourcopyofBombayBadonkadonks.

他找了只猫作伴Hegotacattokeephimcompany.

不是吧You'rekidding.

他上哪儿都带着Hetakesiteverywhere:

不管是卧室还是洗手间tobed,tothebathroom.

他带猫咪用便壶吗Hetakesthekittytothepotty?

我们不是说好不用这词儿了么IthoughtwediscusdtheP-word.

别想着改变我老兄Don'ttrytochangeme,dude.

哥就是哥IamwhatIam.

先生们Oh,gentlemen.

不给我们介绍下'tyougoingtointroduceus

你的小伙伴吗toyourlittlefriend?

不好意思Myapologies.

拉杰霍华德这位是罗伯特·奥本海默博士Raj,Howard,I'

Oppenheimer.

你好.

失陪一下Now,ifyou'llexcume,

原子弹之父现在要来一碟牛奶thefatheroftheatomicbombwantsasaucerofmilk.

我懂了的确该担心谢尔顿Okay,'reworriedaboutSheldon.

是吧Yeah.

回来了Hey.

不是吧Oh,no.

奥本海默太孤单了RobertOppenheimerwaslonely.

所以你要把整个曼哈顿计划的人都找来吗SoyoudecidedtogetthewholeManhattanProject?

对这位是恩里科·费米理查德·费曼EnricoFermi,RichardFeynman,

爱德华·泰勒EdwardTeller,

奥托·弗里希OttoFrisch

还有犀利哥andZazzles.

什么鬼名字Zazzles?

我本想给他取名为赫尔曼·冯·赫尔姆霍兹IwasgoingtonamehimHermannvonHelmholtz,

但他实在太犀利了buthe'ssozazzy.

好吧我们得谈谈Okay,weneedtotalk.

谈什么Aboutwhat?

猫呗谢尔顿Cats,Sheldon.

显然艾米走后你很难受You'reclearlyuptaboutAmybeinggone,

所以你想用一堆猫来代替她andyou'retryingtoreplaceherwithabunchofcats.

-一群猫-啥-Clowder.-What?

不用一堆而要用一群或者是一窝子ring.

好吧我懂了Okay,yeah,fine.

既然我们现在与猫为伍It'sthekindofthingyououghttoknow

我觉得有必要给你扫盲一下nowthatwehaveone.

很好很强大我的意思是tis,youneedtofaceup

你得坦然面对这次分手towhatyou'refeelingwiththisbreakup.

这不是分手Itwasn'tabreakup.

那样的话就说明她是我女朋友AbreakupwouldimplythatAmywasmygirlfriend.

好吧我知道了她不是你女朋友Okay,Igotit,Igotit;she'snotyourgirlfriend.

听我说Nowlistentome.

我知道孤单一人的感觉Iknowaboutloneliness.

也明白要借其它事物来寻求安慰Iknowabouttryingtoreplacesomeonewithotherstuff.

我那会和佩妮分手后我又重新开始拉大提琴WhenIbrokeupwithPenny,Igotbackintomy

cello,

还搭了不少模型火箭Ibuiltabunchofmodelrockets,

我还买了举重手套和五磅重的哑铃Igotthoweightliftingglovesandthatfive-pounddumbbell.

你那不叫分手是佩妮甩了你Youdidn'tbreakup,shedumpedyou.

她才没甩了我Shedidn'tdumpme.

这是互相的Itwasmutual!

我就在场是她甩了你pedyou.

好吧随你吧Okay,fine.

跟猫一起住吧Livewithcats.

跟我南希姨妈一样BelikemyAuntNancy.

她就跟几十只猫一起住Shehaddozensofthem.

你知道她死后怎么样了吗猫把她给吃了Anddoyouknowwhathappenedaftershedied?They

ateher.

不用再跟说服我喜欢猫了莱纳德Youdon'thavetollmeoncats,Leonard.

我已经喜欢了I'malreadyafan.

FancyFeast[珍喜]：普瑞纳公司出的猫粮罐头

好了小家伙们谁想来吃点珍喜猫罐头Allright,fellas,who'sinthemoodforFancyFeast?

这可一点都不喜人Well,that'snotfancyatall.

你好库珀夫人谢谢你赶来Hi,forcoming.

他人呢Whereishe?

在他卧室He'sinhisbedroom.

你在电话里说的Now,whenyousaidonthephone

他跟个女孩分手了是指真的女孩吧hebrokeupwithagirl,youmeantanactualgirl,

不是什么你们在实验室造出来的那种notsomethingyoukidswhippedupinalab?

不是真的人No,she'sreal.

他们做了违反教规的事吗Didtheysin?

不不是那样的No,no,it'snotlikethat.

是...It's,uh...

我不知道怎么描述Idon'tknowwhatit'slike.

但有些事请你作好心理准备ButthereissomethingIshouldprepareyoufor.

放心吧莱纳德他是我一手拉扯大的Oh,relax,Leonard,Ihaveraidthatboy.

最好的我见过最坏的我也见过I'veenhimathisbest,I'veenhimathisworst.

没什么能让我吃惊的了There'snothinghecandothat'llsurprime.

话别说这么早Holdontothatthought.

请进Comein.

吃惊吧Surpri.

妈真是意外之喜Mom,whatanunexpectedpleasure.

天好大一股味My,my,that'sapowerfulsmell.

向你引见奥本海默弗里希潘诺夫斯基I'dlikeyoutomeetOppenheimer,Frisch,Panofsky,

费曼维斯可夫Feynman,Weisskopf...

好了我明白了Yeah,Igetit.

你养了很多猫Yougotalotofcats

还给它们起了可爱的犹太名字andyougave'emcuteJewishnames.

你来这干嘛Whatareyoudoinghere?

莱纳德打电话给我的Leonardcalled.

他说你为伊人消得人憔悴Andhesaidthatyouwerepiningforayounglady.

那太可笑了Oh,that'spreposterous.

我才没有为谁憔悴I'mnotpiningoveranyone.

哦小羊排我的说法或许不合适Oh,lambchop,wecanquibblewhattocallit,

但我们都同意这事儿让人毛骨悚然butIthinkwecanbothagreeit'screepy.

我才不同意Idonotagree.

猫是很好的伙伴Catsmakewonderfulcompanions.

不会跟你吵也不会质疑你的才智权威Theydon'targueorquestionmyintellectualauthority,

还有这个小家伙andthislittleguyhere,

你们会发现它实在太犀利了Ithinkyou'llfindtobequitezazzy.

你真该早点打给我的Youshouldhavecalledsooner.

谢利吃饭了Shelly!Dinner'sready!

来了Coming!

不许带猫Nocats!

她来这干嘛Whatisshedoinghere?

我打给她的Icalledher.

你妈妈认为Yourmotherthinks

你可能正因我失魂落魄youmightbelosingyourmindoverme.

作为神经生物学家我很好奇Asaneurobiologist,Iwascurious.

放心我心智完全正常Well,restassured,Iaminfullposssionofmyfaculties.

25只猫25cats!

上帝保佑你亲爱的Oh,Godblessyou,dear.

谢尔顿坐下我们谈谈Sheldon,'stalk.

好吧但不许骗我Allright,butyou'renotfoolingme.

每次你说我们谈谈Wheneveryousaywehavetotalk,

都只许你说我听itmeansyouwantmetolisten.

那就闭嘴Thenstoptalking.

是长官Yes,ma'am.

我找艾米过来的原因Now,thereasonIcalledAmyoverwas

是想看看她是哪种人tofindoutwhattypeofpersonsheis.

跟她聊了一会后Andafterchattingabit,

我不得不说虽然她是个Ihavetosaythatwhilesheisa

绝对特殊的女士perfectlyuniqueyoungwoman,

你们俩完全不适合对方youtwoaredefinitelynotsuitedforeachother.

这结论真奇怪That'sapeculiarconclusion.

不管以任何标准来衡量艾米都比我认识的任何人Byanystandard,Amyismoresimilartome

跟我更像thananyoneI'veevermet.

抱歉谢利我看不出来Oh,I'msorry,Shelly,Ican'teit.

你看不看得出来没关系Well,whetheryoueitornotisirrelevant.

我也看不到亚原子粒子Ican'tesubatomicparticles,

但不论任何它们就是存在的butnevertheless,they'rethere.

绝妙的观点Excellentpoint.

且是物理学观点Aphysicspoint.

讲得好Touche

别卖弄拉丁话了Well,puttingasidethepigLatin,

很高兴看到it'sagoodthingthat

你们决定分手youtwodecidedtoendtherelationship

就省得我来拆散你们了soIdidn'thavetoenditforyou.

艾米再三考虑之后Amy,afterconsideration,

我觉得我们可能决定得太草率了Ibelievewemayhaveactedrashly.

我建议我们重新开始Ipropoweresumeourrelationship

并尝试解决双方差异的障碍andattempttoresolveourdifferences.

除非你认可我俩之间I'llagreetothatonlyifyou'llstipulate

80%的障碍都是你造成的that80%ofourdifficultieswerecaudbyyou.

-我只认可占40%-你占65%-I'llgoashighas40.-Sixty-five.

成交Done.

你明白我们继续的话Youunderstandthatmovingforward,

我们得面对我妈并不认可你的现实wedealwiththefactthatmymotherdoesnotapproveof

you?

我明白我发现扮演个eingcast

坏女孩的角色竟让我很兴奋intheroleofbadgirloddlytitillating.

想看看我的猫吗Wouldyouliketoemycats?

想我喜欢猫ats.

它们是独善其身的典范They'retheepitomeofindifference.

你会发现犀利哥有点烦人Ah,thenyoumayfindZazzlesalittlecloying.

我可算看出来了Isawwhatyoudidthere.

他一向自以为聪明Hethinkshe'ssuchasmartypants.

其实跟其他人没什么不同He'snodifferentfromanyman.

你让他们别去做什么Youtell'emnottodosomething,

他们就想做什么certainlythat'salltheywanttodo.

要不是我让我弟弟矮胖墩IfIhadn'ttoldmybrotherStumpy

别用手去清理碎木机nottoclearoutthewoodchipperbyhand,

他就不会有这外号还是爱德华了we'dstillbecallinghimEdward.

还有你坐着别动Now,don'tyoumove.

我来把菜搬过来I'llbringoverallthefood.

不不不我来就行No,no,no,Icandoit.

真是太给力了Well,isn'tthatsweet?

谢谢你艾米Thankyou,Amy.

给你的猫Here'syourcat.

还有你的20美元Andhere'syour$20.

下一个Next!

谢谢你艾米Thankyou,Amy.

给你你的猫Here'syourcat.

还有你的20美元Andhere'syour$20.

下一个Next.