摩登家庭 迅雷下载

摩登家庭-ason-1-

第一集-字母

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Claire:Kids,breakfast!Kids?Phil,wouldyougetthem?

Phil:Yeah,justac.

Claire:Kids!

Phil:Thatisso,..

Claire:Okay...

Phil:Kids,getdownhere!

Haley:Whyareyouguysyellingatus,whenwe'rewayupstairs,justtextme.

Claire:Alright,That'snotgonnahappen,and,wow,you'renotwearingthatoutfit.

Haley:What'sWrongwithit?

Claire:Honey,doyouhaveanythingtosaytoyourdaughter...aboutherskirt?

Phil:Sorry?Ohyeah,thatlooksreallycutesweetheart!

Haley:Thanks!

Claire:No,it'swaytoshort,peopleknowyou'reagirl,youdon'tneedtoproveittothem.

Alex:Lukegothisheadstuckinthebanisteragain.

Phil:'sthebabyoil?

Claire:It'sonourbedsidetip...IDon'tknow,!

Claire:I...wasoutofcontrolgrowingup,there,youknow,isaidit.I...I,Ijustdon'twantmykids

yneverwouldexhibitonabeachinFlorida,half

naked...I'vedonemyjob.

Phil:Ourjob.

Claire:Right...I'vedoneourjob.

Gloria:BravoManny!Kickit!Kickit!Mannygo!No!Thatwasapenalty!

Jay:Gloria,thereOwen'ssix,Let'stakeitdownanotch.

Gloria:We're,'romasmallvillage,

verypoor,'sthenumberonevillageinNorth-Columbiaforallthe...what's

theword?

Jay:Murders.

Gloria:Yes,themurders.

Gloria:Manny,stophim!Stophim!

Boy:Dammit,manny!

aMom:Comeon,coach!You'vegottatakethatkidout!

Gloria:Youwannatakehimout?HowaboutItakeyouout!?

Jay:Honey,honey...

Gloria:Whydon'tyouworryaboutyourson!He'sspendthefirsthalfwithhishandsinhispants!

Josh:I'vewantedtotellherthatforthelastsixweeks...I'mJosh,Ryan'sdad.

Gloria:Hi,I'mGloriaPritchett...Manny'smother.

Josh:Oh,thismustbeyourdad.

Jay:Herdad?Uh,no,no,that'lyno,I'mherhusband!Don'tbefooledbythe...Give

meacondhere.

Mitchell:Who'sthegoodgirl?Who'sthat?

Oldlady:Oh,She'sadorable!

Mitchell:Oh,thankyou!

Oldlady:Heyprecious...

Mitchell:,'vejustadoptedherfromVietnamandwe'rebringingherhomeforthe

firsttime.

Man:She'you'rewifemustbethrilled!

Cameron:Sorry,sorry,sorry,!So,whatarewetalkingabout?

Mitchell:Wehavebeentogetherfor...five,fiveyearsnow?Andwe'vedecidedwereallywanted

tohaveababy...so,weinitiallyaskedoneofourlesbianfriendstobeasurrogate.

Cameron:Thenwefigured,imagineoneofthem

pregnant?No,...

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Mitchell:Yousawthatright?EverybodyfondlinguptoLillian,thenyouwalkon...andsuddenly

it'sall"Huu...".I'mgonnagiveaspeech.

Cameron:Youarenotgivingaspeech...yougonnastuckwiththispeopleforthenextfivehours!

Mitchell:You'reright,it'sokay,I'msorry.

Woman:Honey,lookatthatbabywiththocreampuffs.

Mitchell:Okay,me,butthisbabywouldhavegrownupinacrowded

orphanageifitwasn'tforuscreampuffs...andyouknowwhat,toallofyouwhojudge,hearthis,

loveknowsnorace...

Cameron:Mitchell!

Mitchell:...creedorgenderandshameonyou!Yousmallminded,ignorantfe...

Cameron:Mitchell!!

Mitchell:What?

Cameron:She'sgotthecreampuffs.

Mitchell:Oh!

Cameron:Wewouldliketopayforeveryone'sheadts.

[MODERNFAMILY-SEASON1EPISODE1]

Phil:Buddy,whydoyoukeepgettingstucklikethis?

Luke:IthoughtIcouldgetoutthistime.

Alex:I'mjustgonnasayit...heneedstobecheckedbyaspecialist.

Phil:There!Befree,Excalibur!

Haley:I'mhavingafriendovertoday.

Claire:Who?

Haley:Youdon'tknowhim.

Claire:Him...Him?

Luke:Oeh,aboy!Yougonnakisshim?

Haley:Shutup!

Phil:.

Alex:Youdon'teven...

Claire:Luke,Alex,whydon'tyoutakeitoutside,okay?

Alex:Anddowhat?

Phil:Fightingason,itwouldbeanicechange.I'mkidding!

Claire:Haley!Who'stheboy?

Haley:HisnameisDylan...Youknow,Imightaswelljusttellhimnottocome,becauyouguys

arejustgoingtoembarrassmeagain.

Claire:Honey!Hangonacond,you'refifteen,it'sthefirsttimeyou'

I'mboundtobealittlesurprid,but...We'renotgonnaembarrassyou!

Phil:I'mbettergochargethecamcorder.I'mkidding!Comeon!Whoareyoutalkingto?

Phil:I''s...that'smythang.I'mhype,Isurftheweb,,LaughOut

Loud,OMG,OhMyGod,WTF,w,IknowallthedancestoHighSchool

Musical,so...

Alex:MOM!DAD!

Claire:Whathappened?

Alex:Lukejustshotme!

Luke:Ididn'tmeanto!

Claire:Areyouokay?

Alex:No,thelittlebitchshotme!

Claire:Language!

Luke:They'reonlyplasticbb's!Itwasanaccident!

Claire:WhatdidItellyouwhathappenedifyougothimagun?Dealwiththis!

Phil:Buddy...Uncool.

Claire:That'sit?No,no,no,theagreementwasthat,ifheshootssomeone...youshoothim.

Phil:Wewereriousaboutthat?

Claire:Yes,wewereandnowyouhavetofollowthrough.

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Luke:I'msosorry!

Claire:!

Phil:Buthe'sgotabirthdayparty.

Alex:What'smoreimportantheredad?

Claire:Youcanshoothimafterwards,he'llbehomeattwo.

Phil:Ican'tshoothimattwo,showingahouattwo.

Alex:Whataboutthree?

Claire:No,he'satasoccergameatthree,andthen...Oh,wegottaleaveforthatdinnerthingin

five.4:15,youcanshoothimat4:15.

Phil:Yeah,Iguessthatworksforme.

Claire:"ShootLuke"

Phil:Sorrydude,it'sonthecalendar

Luke:Oh,comeon!

Manny:I'mquittingsoccer,itisagameforchildren.

Gloria:No,you'ldhavestoppedthatgoalifyouweren'tstaringatthatlittle

girl.

Manny:Sheisnotagirl,Sheisawoman.

Jay:YouknowGloria,thatblowupwiththatothermom,whydoyouhavetodothingslikethat?

Gloria:Ifsomeonesayssomethingaboutmyfamily,I'mgoingto...

Jay:I'mjust...sayingyoucouldtakeitdownherealittlebit,that'sall.

Gloria:Wellyeah,coz'that'swhenyoulivedownhere...butIliveuphere!

Jay:Youdon'thavetobesoemotionalallthetime,that'sallI'msaying!Manny,you'rewithmeon

this,right?

Manny:IwannatellBrendaFeldmanIloveher.

Jay:Oh,forGod'ssake.

Gloria:Honey,she's16.

Manny:Oh,it'sokayforyoutotakeanolderlover?

Jay:Hey!Watchit!

Manny:stweneedtogetmywhiteshirt,thesilk

one.

Gloria:Okay,ifthat'swhatyoureallywanttodo.

Jay:Seriously,nottobetheevilstepdad,butifyouputonapuffywhiteshirtanddeclareyour

lovefora16yearold,you'regonnabeswingingfromtheflagpoleinyourpuffywhiteunderpants!

Manny:Stopthecar!

Gloria:Whereareyougoing?Youe?Youhurthisfeelings.

Jay:Well,ifittoughenshimupalittlebit,then...oh,jeez,he'spickingflowers!

Gloria:Mannyisverypassionate,thusbandisveryhandsomebut,too

edlikeallwhatwedidwas,fightandmakelove,fightandmakelove,fightandmake

e,I'mnotkiddingyou,wefelloutthewindowtogether.

Jay:Whichonewereyoudoing?I'mhearingthisforthefirsttime!

Mitchell:Thisdoesn'tworryyou?Shebarelysleptintheplane,andshe'sstillwideawake.

Cameron:Oh,stopworrying!

Mitchell:ButCam,Thatorphanage,hecan'tfallasleepunlessshe

feelsawoman'sshape.

Cameron:Iguessthat'spossible.

Mitchell:So,here.

Cameron:Whatthehellisthatsuppotomean?

Cameron:Yes,I'vegainedafewextrapoundswhilewewereexpectingthebaby...whichhas

,apparentlyyou'rebodydoesanesting,verymaternal,primal...thing,were

t'sscience,youcan't,youcan't

fightit,so...

Mitchell:I'mnotsayinganything.

Cameron:You'resayingeverything.

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Mitchell:Counttothree,one,t...

Cameron:Three!

Mitchell:!

Cameron:OhMyGod,doyouloveit?

Mitchell:Yes,I...Whatthehellisthat?

Cameron:IhadAndredoitwhenwewe'regone.

Mitchell:Isthatus?Withwings?

Cameron:We'refloatingaboveher,alwaystheretoprotecther.

Mitchell:Well,that'sreassuring,rightLily?Yeah,wetoreyouawayfromeverythingyouknow

butdon'tworry,'refathersarefloatingfairies!CanyoucallAndre?

Havehimpaintsomethingalittleless...gay?Bytheway,Weneedtostophavingfriendswith

nameslikeAndre.

Cameron:Redheadeddadisangrydaddy.

Mitchell:NoI'mnot.

Cameron:Yes,pperpointeditoutonthewayhomefromtheairport.

Mitchell:Okay,that'sanotherone,Pepper!

Cameron:Okay,what'sup?

Mitchell:Alright,look...I...Inevertoldmyfamilywewereadoptingababy.

Cameron:Iknow.

Mitchell:Youdo?

Cameron:Ya,AndIdon'tblameyou,lthem,theysaysomething

judgmentally.

Mitchell:Exactly!

Cameron:Yougetmad.

Mitchell:Iknow,andwhat'ssuppodtobenothing,butjoyfulsuddenlyturnsintothishugefight.

Cameron:Andwhowantsabigemotionalscenelikethat?

Mitchell:Thankyou,I'msorelievedyouunderstand.

Cameron:Iinvitedthemoverfordinnertonight.

Mitchell:What?

Cameron:Ihadto!'reanavoider.

Mitchell:No,no!Cam,I'mcallingthemnow,I'mcancelling.

Cameron:No,you'renot!You'retellingyourfamilyyou'veadoptedababy,do

haveavoidingissues!EvenAngelosaidso.

Mitchell:Areyoureallynothearingthethings?

Haley:Don'tanswerit,I'llgetit!

Claire:Hi!Hey,youmustbeDylan.

Phil:Hey,Dylan,yeah.

Claire::I'mHaley'smother.

Haley:Hey,comeon,let'sgo.

Claire:...You'restillinHighSchool?

Dylan:Yeah,I’maSenior.

Claire:Phil,sweetie,etoscarehim.

Phil:nphy,yo!

Phil:It'slikethat,'remouthmightbe

saying:Hey,wecool!Butyou'reeyesarelike:No,wenot!Nicetomeetyou!No,it'snot!It'sall

good?No,it's...

Dylan:Jo.

Haley:Okay,I'veentwoguys

Phil:WaitYoutwo...twokeepitreal?YouknowwhatImean,son?

Dylan:Notreally.

Haley:Pleastop.

Phil:That'scool!Oh,God,That'smyback!

Claire:Sweatheart.

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Phil:Owh,oh,Islippedinthebabyoil.

Phil:Ooh,whereyoufromoriginally?Icoulddefeatyouifitcametoaphysicalconfrontation.

Claire:Idon'tknowaboutthis,shallIcalladoctor?

Phil:No,no,'reverystronghomes

Dylan:Thanks.

Phil:Okay,nice,,Iamonmysidethough,soflipmerightbackandwe're

'edtogetflippedrightonmyback,andweshouldbefine,so.

Manny:BrendaFeldman.

Gloria:Whatisthat?

Manny:ApoemI’vewrittenforBrendaFeldman.

Jay:Ofcourthatis.

Manny:Iputmythoughtsintowords,andnowmywordsintoaction!

Jay:Ey,Igiveyou50bucksnottodothis.

Manny:I'melevenyearsold,whatamIgonnadowithmoney?

Jay:Whatareyougonnadowithasixteenyearold?

Gloria:It'slikeabullfight!

Jay:Everenabullfight?Ican'twatchthis.

Gloria:You'owwhy,It'sbecauthatmanthoughtyouweremy

father.

Jay:No.

Gloria:Yes.

Jay:No.

Gloria:Whenyousaynolikethat,it',we'reinthemall,let'sgetyoulike

someyoungerclothes...there'sastoretherethatIknow...

Jay:Idon'tneedanyyoungerclothes!AndIdon'tcarewhatsomejackassinapairofripped

jeansthinksaboutme.

Gloria:Good,youshouldn'ou,andIdon'tcarehow

beingangloomygoos,andstopbeingsohardonManny.

Jay:TheonlyreasonI'mhardonMannyisjustbecauIdon'twannaehimmakeafoolof

nsmellthathairgooofhisfromhere!

Gloria:Look,Idon'tknowwhat'sgonnahappentohimovertherebutyou'

herewinninghisback,nottospitinhisface!

Jay:What?

Gloria:Somethingmymomalwayssays,it',he'sthere.

Manny:Shehasaboyfriend.

Gloria:OHH,I'msorry,minino.

Manny:spretty

stupidofme,wasn'tit?

Gloria:Nomiamore,Itwasbrave,rightJay?Brave.

Jay:I..b...you'!Let'sgetapretzel.

Securityguard:Oh,excume,sir?Weaskedallmall-walkerstostaytotheright.

Haley:Alex,getout!MOM!

Claire:Alex,leaveyoursisteralone!

Alex:Iwasjustgettingmybook,gosh!

Claire:Iknowsweetie,etheydoingupthere?

Alex:Nothing,lyinginherbed,watchingamovie.

Claire:Okay...Okay...I'mmakingacakefortonight,youwannahelpmewiththefrosting?

Alex:,youknowifHaleygotpregnant,wouldyoueverpretendshehasmonoforafew

monthsandthenliketelleveryonethebaby'syours?

Claire:What?

Alex:Thatnioratschoolwasoutsickforlikefourmonths,butTernaWristnikssaysshewasout

breastfeedinginacleanupcarwash.

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Phil:Buddy,whatareyouwearing?

Luke:Nothing.

Phil:Nojacket,ypairsofunderweardoyouhaveon?

Luke:One...Six.

Alex:Firstofall,itwouldbereallycooltoeHaleythatfat,andhowawesomewoulditbeto

haveafakelittlebrotherwho'sreallymynephew.

Claire:Haleyisnotgettingpregnant!

Alex:I'mjustsayingif.

Claire:Iknow,andIknowyouliketomaketroubleforyoursisterbutit'snotgonnaworkthis

wwhy?',IwasjustlikeherwhenIwas...

Phil:Iwantyoutoknow,I'animportantlessonthatyou'releaning,so.

It'sallgood,keepit...

Luke:You'retoclo,it'sgonnahurt.

Phil:It'ssuppodtohurt!

Luke:Andwhyareyousmiling?

Phil:I'm...What?Oh,'ntis,you'you'velearned

yourlesson.

Luke:Awww!

Haley:Mom?!Whatareyoudoing?

Claire:Hey,Iwasjustdroppingoffsomelaundry,Thisisabadtime?

Haley:Yeah...

Claire:Oh,okay.

Haley:Canyoushutthedoorplea?

Claire:Actuallywe'rejustgonnagoaheadandleavethatopen.

Haley:Why?

Claire:BecauIhaveenthislittleshowbefore:Lyingonthebedwithatall,ute

you'rejustfriends,watchingFalconCrest,andthenextyou'relyingunderneaththeair-hockey

tablewithyourbraun-pocket!

Haley:Mom!

Luke:Youhitmybone!

Phil:Itwasanaccident!

Luke:Ithoughtwewerefriends!

Phil:Iamyourfriend!

Haley:Dad?!Dad,youhavegottotalktomom,sheislikecompletelyfreakingoutand

embarrassingme.

Phil:Well,honey,you'remomisn'talwaysascoolaboutthingsasI...Whatiswiththisthing!

Mitchell:Mydad,ehm,mydadisn'tcompletelycomfortablewiththis,ehm,hestilldoesthisthing.

It'tilldoesthisthingwhereheannounceshimlfbeforewalking

makesurehedoesn'thavetoevereuskiss.

Cameron:er?

Mitchell:Notnow.

Mitchell:Istillcan'tbelieveyoudidthistome!

Cameron:Wouldyougetinthespiritofthings!It'sacelebration!

Mitchell:OhGod.

Cameron:Okay,I'mgonnagogetLilyready,andIwantyoutojustcomestraightoutwithit,

Mitchell:Alright.

Cameron:Youcandothis!Sportsguychestbump,

Mitchell:No.

Cameron:Sportsguychestbump!

Mitchell:,GO!

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Mitchell:Hey,howareyou?Higuys!Wellthankyou,thanks.

Claire:OhDon'tthankusopenit,dadiscomingrightbehind.

Jay:Knock,knock,we'rehere!Comingin!

Mitchell:Don'tworrydad,keyou'remulticoloredcoatand

you'rebejeweledcap?

Jay:Yeah.

Phil:HeyJay.

Claire:Gloria,hi!Howareyou?

Phil:HiGloria,howareyou?Whatabeautifuldress!

Gloria:Thankyou,Phil!Oh,Okay.

Claire:Phil!ShesaidPhil,notfeel!

Jay:Sohowwasyou'retrip?

Mitchell:Itwasgood,itwasgoodactuallybut...aboutthatIhavesomethingthatIneedtotellyou

',kindahavesomebignews.

Jay:Oh,God,ifCamcomesoutherewithboobs,I'mleaving!

Claire:Dad!

Haley:Ihopehedidn'tembarrassyou,mom.

Claire:Don'tmindher,Haleyhadherfirstboyovertoday,andPhilshothim.

Mitchell:Anyway,Isortoffeelingthislongingforsomething

more...like,maybeababy.

Jay:Woooh,that'sabadidea.

Mitchell:Whatdoyoumean,badidea?

Jay:Well,kidsneedamother!Imean,ifyoutwoguysarebored,getadog!

Mitchell:We'renotbored,dad!

Gloria:IsupportyouMitchell,andthoughyou'renotmyson

Claire:I,Ithinkwhatdadistryingtosayisthat,Mitchellyou'realittleuptight,kidsbringchaos

andyoudon'thandlewell.

Mitchell:Oh,That''swhatyou''sinsultinginan

wholedifferentway.

Phil:Okay,people,let'sallchillax!

Alex:Hey!Where'suncleCameron?

Mitchell:Finally,thankyou,someonewho'snotinsultingme,noticeshe'snothere.

Jay:Oh!So,that'abywasn'tgonnahelpthat

anyway!Andyouknow?Letmetellyou,your'llbebetterof,becauhewasabitofadrama

queen.

Mitchell:No,no,no!Stop,stop!Youcomeintomyhouandyouinsultmeandmyboyfriend

whobythewayisnotthatdramatic!We'eisLily.

Cameron:Exciting!

Mitchell:Justturnitoff.

Cameron:Ican'tturnitoff,it'swhoIam!

Mitchell:Themusic!

Cameron:Oh,yes,,sayhelloLily.

Haley:Oh,she'ssocute!

Phil:?Isn'tthatgonnabehardforhertosay?No?

Jay:Excume...Okay,I,...WhatdoIknow?

Imean,It'snotlikeIwrotethebookonfatherhood.I'vebeentryingallmylifetogetitright,i'mstill

,Manny?

Manny:Iwroteasongaboutitinthecar.

Jay:,I'mhappyforyou!Andyoushouldknowthat...I'mnothereto

spitinyourface,I'',

Mitch...

Mitchell:No,dad,it's...Igotit,Igotit.

Claire:Shewant'sherdaddy.

Mitchell:Doyouwannameetgrandpa?

Jay:You'rekidding?She'soneofusnow,Letmeethatlittlepotsticker!Eey,you'reacutie,

aren'tyou!

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Jay:We'what'h

fair,beforeyounowwithonlyoneagendaToletyouknowmyheartis

n,coma,BrendaImeanriously!

Phil:Luke,sofar,hehasn'tbeatenmeatbasketball.

Phil:It't!Willyoustepoutofmykitchen!Couldyoujustdomeafavourandjust

grab...How'stheweatherdownthere?

Phil:But,whenthedaycomesthathedoeswin,if,youknow,ifwhen...hebeatsme.I'mjust

gonnabelike,"welldone!Welldone!"Justlethim,kindofstuff.I'm

probablyjustwannagolike,2outof3,andjustewhathappensthere,but.