little something

EnglishisaCrazyLanguage

Let'sfaceit--Englishisacrazylanguage.

Thereisnoeggineggplant(n.茄子)norhaminhamburger(n.汉堡);neitherapplenorpine

inpineapple(n.菠萝).Englishmuffins（英式松饼）weren'tinventedinEnglandorFrench

fries(炸薯条)eats(n.糖果)arecandieswhilesweetbreads(n.小牛或者小

羊的杂碎),whicharen'tsweet,aremeat.

WetakeEnglishforgranted(take…forgranted想当然).Butifweexploreitsparadoxes

（自相矛盾,悖论）,wefindthatquicksand(n.流沙)canworkslowly,boxingrings（拳击场地）

aresquare（adj.方的）andaguineapig(n.豚鼠)isneitherfromGuineanorisitapig.

Andwhyisitthatwriterswritebutfingersdon'tfing,grocersdon'tgroceandhammers

don'tham?Ifthepluraloftoothisteeth,whyisn'tthepluralofboothbeeth?Onegoo,2

oo(n.驼鹿),2mee?Oneindex,2indices?

【阅读】疯狂的英语（下）

EnglishisaCrazyLanguage

Doesn'titemcrazythatyoucanmakeamends（赔偿butnotoneamend,thatyoucomb

through(v.仔细翻阅)annals(n.年鉴、年刊)ofhistorybutnotasingleannal?Ifyouhavea

bunchofoddsandendsandgetridofallbutoneofthem,whatdoyoucallit?

Ifteacherstaught,whydidn'tpreacherpraught?Ifavegetarian(n.素食者)eatsvegetables,

whatdoesahumanitarian(n.人道主义者)eat?

Howcanaslimchance（渺茫的机会）andafatchance（微小的机会）bethesame,whilea

wimanandwiguy(自作聪明的人)areopposites?Howcanoverlookandoverebe

opposites,whilequitealotandquiteafew（相当多的）arealike?Howcantheweatherbe

hotashellonedayandcoldashellanother.

Youhavetomarvelat（对…感到惊讶）theuniquelunacy(n.精神病)ofalanguageinwhich

yourhoucanburnup（烧起来）asitburnsdown（烧为平地）,inwhichyoufillin（填写）

aformbyfillingitout（填写）andinwhichanalarmclockgoesoffbygoingon.

Englishwasinventedbypeople,notcomputers,anditreflectsthecreativityofthehuman

why,whenthestarsareout,theyarevisible,butwhenthelightsareout,they

,whenIwindup(上紧发条)mywatch,Istartit,butwhenIwindup

（结束）thissay,Iendit.

【阅读】智慧笑话一则:憋死人的秘密

Joke:Onetoughcret

Therewasthispreacher(n.牧师，传教士)whowasanavid(adj.渴望的，热衷的)

chancehecouldget,hecouldbefoundonthegolfcourswinging(v.摇摆,挥动)

wasanobssion(n.迷恋).was

out,nocloudsinthesky,andthetemperaturewasjustright.

Thepreacherwasinaquandary（左右为难）astowhattodo,andshortly,theurgetoplay

golfovercame(v.战胜，胜过)edanassistanttotellhimthathewassickandcould

notdochurch,packedthecarup,anddrovethreehourstoagolfcourwherenoonewould

y,hebegantoplaythecour.

Anangelupabovewaswatchingthepreacherandwasquiteperturbed(v.烦恼不安).He

wenttoGodandsaid,"ldbepunishedforwhatheisdoing."

acherteedup（把球放在球座上）g

attheball,anditsailed(v.轻快地前行)effortlesslythroughtheairandlandedrightinthecup

mazedand

excited.

edtoGodandsaid,"BeggingYourpardon,butI

thoughtyouweregoingtopunishhim?"

Godsmiled."Thinkaboutit--whocanhetell?"