rest of my life

吾生三愿

ThreePassionsIhaveLivedFor

Threepassions,simplebutoverwhelminglystrong,havegovernedmylife:thelongingforlove,

thearchforknowledge,assions,like

greatwinds,haveblownmehitherandthither,inawaywardcouroveradeepoceanofanguish,

reachingtotheveryvergeofdespair.

Ihavesoughtlove,first,becauitbringcstasy—ecstasysogreatthatIwouldoftenhave

oughtit,next,becauit

relievesloneliness—thatterriblelonelinessinwhichoneshiveringconsciousnesslooksoverthe

oughtit,finally,becauinthe

unionofloveIhaveen,inamysticminiature,theprefiguringvisionoftheheaventhatsaints

whatIsought,andthoughitmightemtoogoodforhumanlife,

thisiswhat—atlast—Ihavefound.

ishedtounderstandtheheartsofmen.I

havewishedtoknowwhythestarsshine…Alittleofthis,butnotmuch,Ihaveachieved.

Loveandknowledge,sofarastheywerepossible,ays

eninfamine,

victimstorturedbyoppressors,helplessoldpeopleahatedburdentotheirsons,andthewhole

worldofloneliness,poverty,o

alleviatetheevil,butIcannot,andItoosuffer.

ounditworthliving,andwouldgladlyliveitagainifthechance

wereofferedme.

吾生三愿，纯朴却激越：一曰渴望爱情，二曰求索知识，三曰悲悯吾类之无尽苦难。此三

愿，如疾风，迫吾无助飘零于苦水深海之上，直达绝望之彼岸。

吾求爱，盖因其赐吾狂喜——狂喜之剧足令吾舍此生而享其片刻；吾求爱，亦因其可驱寂

寞之感，吾人每生寂寞之情辄兢兢俯视天地之缘，而见绝望之无底深渊；吾求爱还因若得爱，

即可窥视圣哲诗人所见之神秘天国。此吾生之所求，虽虑其之至美而恐终不为凡人所得，亦

可谓吾之所得也。

吾求知亦怀斯激情。吾愿闻人之所思，亦愿知星之何以闪光……吾仅得此而已，无他。

爱与知并力，几携吾入天国之门，然终为悲悯之心拖拽未果。痛苦之吟常萦绕吾心：受饥

饿之婴，遭压迫之民，为儿女遗弃之无助老叟，加之天下之孤寂、贫穷、苦痛，具令吾类之

生难以卒睹。吾愿穷毕生之力释之，然终不能遂愿，因亦悲极。

吾生若此而已，然吾颇感未枉此生；若得天允，当乐而重为之。