美剧got

Rosskisdme.

Oh,myGod!Oh,myGod!Oh,myGod!

Itwasunbelievable!

Oh,myGod!Oh,myGod!Oh,myGod!

Let'sheareverything.

Monica,getthewineandunplugthephone.

Rachel,doesthindwellordoweneedtogettissues?

Itendedverywell.

Donotstartwithoutme!Donotstartwithoutme!

'shearaboutthekiss.

Wasitasoftbrushagainstyourlips...

...orwasita"Igottahaveyounow"kindofthing?

Well,atfirstitwasreallyinten,youknow?Andthen....

Oh,nwejustsortofsunkintoit.

Sowasheholdingyou?Orwerehishandsonyourback?

No,actually,firsttheystartedoutonmywaist...

...andthentheyslidupandwereinmyhair.

And...

...thenIkisdher.

Tongue?

-Yeah.-Cool.

-Yeah.-Cool.

-Yeah.-Cool.

Allright,checkoutthisbadboy!

TwelvemegabytesofRAM,500-megabyteharddrive...

...built-inspreadsheetcapabilities...

...andamodemthattransmitsatover28,000BPS.

Whatwillyouuitfor?

Gamesandstuff.

renojobsforme.

Oh,wait,here'sone.

-Wouldyoubewillingtocooknaked?-There'sanadforanakedchef?

No,butifyou'llcooknaked,thenyoumightbewillingtodancenaked.

Andthen....

Sohow'dyoumakeoutlastnight?

painfullyfunny.

No,wait,wait.

Yeah,that'sjustpainful.

htlastnightwasgreat.

Yeah,thome...

...andIeJulie'ssalinesolutiononmynighttable...

...andIthink,"MyGod!WhatamIdoing?"

HereIamwithJulie,thisincredible,greatwoman...

...whoIcareaboutandwhocaresaboutme...

...andI'mjustthrowingallthataway?

Yougotallthatfromsalinesolution?

'Rachel.

I'vebeendreamingaboutmeandRachelfor10years.

ButnowI'mwithJulie.

Soit'slike,meandJulie,meandRachel.

MeandJulie,meandRach

Rachel!Rachel.

-Hey,you.-Howareyou?

you?

Good.

-Hi,honey.-Hi,,Julie?

Julie!

Howareyou?

Good.

Soeverybody'shere.

Everybody'sgood.

Wereyougonnaplaysomething?

-Well,actually-Playit!

Allright.

-Julie,Ididn'tknowyouworelens.-What?

.

.

Thisisasongaboutalovetriangle...

...betweenthreepeopleImadeup.

It'scalled"TwoofThemKisdLastNight."

TherewasagirlWe'llcallherBetty

AndaguyLet'scallhimNeil

NowIcan'tstressThispointtoostrongly

Thisstoryisn'treal

NowourNeilmustdecideWhowillbethegirlthathecastsaside

WillBettybetheoneWhohelovestruly

OrwillitbetheoneWhowe'llcallLoolie

HemustdecideHemustdecide

EventhoughImadehimupHemustdecide

Well,thisisaniceresume.

Nice,nice,nice.

Muyimpressivo.

ter,whatdoesthisjobentail?Theadwasn'tclear.

Macholate.

-I'msorry?-Macholate.

It'sasyntheticchocolatesubstitute.

Goahead,tryapiece.

WethinkMacholateivenbetterthanchocolate.

Allright.

Ilovehowitcrumbles.

-Youe,chocolatedoesn'tdothat.-No,ma'am.

WeshouldbegettingourFDAapprovalanydaynow.

Hopefully,intimeforThanksgiving.

Thewayweeit,chocolatedominates...

...,Christmas,whathaveyou.

Butgiventherightmarketing...

...wecanmakeThanksgivingtheMacholateholiday.

Wow.

Aren'tyougonnaswallowthat?

Justwaitingforittostopbubbling.

Isn'tthatgreat?

Well,anyhow...

...we'relookingforchefswhocancreateThanksgivingrecipes.

Youinterested?

Abso-...

...-lutely!

Ilovecreatingrecipes,IloveThanksgiving,andnow...

...IloveMacholate.

Really?

ou...

...that'lllastyoutillChristmas.

HowaboutMacholatemous?

It'snot...

...veryThanksgiving-y.

HowaboutPilgrimMacholatemous?

WhatmakesitPilgrim?

We'llputbucklesonit.

DidRosscall?

No,I'msorry.

Whydidn'thecall?

He'sgonnastaywithJulie.

He'sgonnastaywithherandshe'llbe:

"Hi,I'ckedme.

We'llgetmarriedandhavelotsofkidsanddigupstufftogether!"

Nooffen,butthatsoundsnothinglikeher.

WhatamIgonnado?Thisislikeacompletenightmare!

stbesohard."Oh,no!Twowomenloveme!

They'rebothgorgeousxy,mywallet'stoosmallformy50s...

...andmydiamondshoesaretootight!"

-Here'sathought-Don'tevertouchthecomputer.

Ross,owordsforyou:

Threesome.

Let''llmakealist.

"RachelandJulie:ProsandCons."

We'llputtheirnamesindifferentfonts...

...andIcanudifferentcolorsforeachcolumn.

Can'tweuapen?

No,Amishboy.

Let'sstartwiththeconsbecauthey'remorefun.

Rachelfirst.

Idon'tknow.

Imean....

Allright,Iguessyoucansayshe'salittlespoiledsometimes.

Youcouldsaythat.

Iguess,sometimesshe'salittleditzy,youknow?

AndI'veenherbealittletoointoherlooks.

AndJulieandIhavealotincommon...

...becauwe'rebothpaleontologists,right?

ButRachel'sjustawaitress.

Waitress.

swanttoplayDoom?

Orwecouldkeepdoingthis.

Whatel?

Idon'tknow.

Oh!Heranklesarealittlechubby.

Okay,let'sdoJulie.

What'swrongwithher?

She'snotRachel.

ThisispumpkinpiewithaMacholatecrust.

ThisisMacholatecranberrycake,andtheareMacholate-chipcookies.

Justlikethelndiansrved.

Oh,myGod!

"Oh,myGod"good?

Oh,myGod!Ican'tbelieveyouletmeputthisinmymouth.

SweetLord!Thisiswhatevilmusttastelike!

Itellyou,itwon'tprint.

Ipresdthatbutton,like,100times.

Forahotline,you'renotsohot.

Whatisthatinthebackground?

AreyouwatchingStarTrek?

SodidyoubreakJulie'sheart?

ed,ewthings,theyhitme.

Ididtherightthing.

SoSpockactuallyhugshisfather?

Hey,doyouguyshave

Whereyougoing?

Ijustgotback...

...fromJulie's.

No,no.

It'snotwhatyouthink.

It'stheotherthing.

Well,what'stheotherthing?WhatdoIthink?

Well....

HebrokeupwithJulie!

Well,gohugher,forGod'ssakes!

Really?

Really.

It'salwaysbeenyou,Rach.

Oh,God.

Oh,thisisgood.

-Thisisreallygood.-.

It'salmost....

Whatdoyousaywetakeawalk?m.

-Letmegetmycoat.-,hey!

I'llgetyourcoat.

He''sgoingtogetmycoat,Joey!

Joey,Ican'tbelievethis!Thisisunbelievable!

-What'sthat?-What?Nothing!

-it?-No,no,e?See?

It'sprinting!

It'sprinting!

Whatisit?Letmee!

Hey,someoneorderacoat?

Chandlerwrotesomethingaboutmeonhercomputerandwon'tletmee.

Hewon't?Hewon't!

Becauisn'tthat...

...theshortstoryyouwerewriting?

Yes,itisashortstory...

...thatIwaswriting.

AndI'minit?Letmereadit.

No!

-Comeon!-Hey,whydon'tyoureadittoher?

Allright.

"Itwassummer.

Anditwashot.

Rachelwasthere.

Alonelygraycouch.

'Oh,look!'criedNed.

!"

That'sallyouwrote?You'retheworstwriterintheworld!

Thisisn'tfunnyanymore.

There'ssomethingaboutmeonthatpaper,andIwanttoeit.

No,youdon't.

Allright,uyswanttobechildren,that'sfine.

Idonotneedtoeit!

Whatisthis?

Thatis....

Whatisthis?

-Thankyou.-Goodluck.

memberhowcrazyIamaboutyou,okay?

"Kindofditzy"?

"Toointoherlooks"?

"Spoiled"?

uppodtotype"little,"theidiot!

"Justawaitress"?

Nowthatwas....

Imean,asoppodto....

Okay,isthisoveryet?Rach?

Idonothavechubbyankles!

No!I

Okay,Julie'scolumn.

"She'snotRachem"?

Whatthehell'saRachem?

Isthatastupidpaleontologyword...

...Iwouldn'tknow,becauI'mjustawaitress?

Rach,comeon!

It's"She'snotRachel"!

She'snot....

Mydiary!That'sBrilliant!

IfI'dsaiditwasmydiary,shewouldn'thavemademereadmydiary.

That''dbeagreatpersontohavearoundafteranemergency.

IcannotbelieveRosvenmadethislist.

-Iknow.-Whatadinkus!

Hey,handler'sidea.

What?

Oh,pingthatwouldcomeup.

Thiswasyouridea?

Let'hingshappenforareason.

!

Pheebs,ieveinthatkarmacrap,don'tyou?

Bytheway,goodluckinyournextlifeasadungbeetle.

Rach!

Hey!Openup!Plea?

Whensomebodydoesnotbuzzyouin,Ross,thatmeans,"Goaway."

Itdoesn'tmean,"Climbupthefireescape."

Ijustwanttoreadyouyour"ProList."

Notinterested.

"Numberone:thewayyoucryatgameshows.

Numbertwo:howmuchyouloveyourfriends.

Numberthree:thewayyouplaywithyourhairwhenyou'renervous.

Numberfour:howbraveyouareforstartingyourlifeover.

Numberfive:howgreatyouarewithBen.

Numbersix:thewayyousmell."

Whatareyoudoing?

Youwanttoopenthewindow?

Oh,yeah.

-Whatareyoudoingoutthere?-I'm....

wwhatyouneed?

Howaboutanice,steamingcupofhotMacholate?

Comeon,openup.

Rach,tagivemeanotherchance.

No.

-No?-That'swhatIsaid.

Maybeweshouldgo.

Youdon''redonetalking.

Iknowhowyoumust

No!Youdon't,Ross.

Imaginetheworstthingsyouthinkaboutyourlf.

Howwouldyoufeelifthepersonyoutrustedmostintheworld...

...notonlythinksthemtoo...

...butactuallyusthemasreasonsnottobewithyou.

No,bute,Iwanttobewithyouinspiteofallthothings.

Well,that'smightybigofyou.

Isaid,don'tgo!

Youknowwhat?

Ifitweretheotherwayaround,thereisnothingyoucouldputonalist...

...thatwouldmakemenotwanttobewithyou.

Well,thenIguessthat'sthedifferencebetweenus.

See,I'dnevermakealist.

Ineverknowhowlongtowaitinthissituationbeforeyoucantalkagain.

Maybealittlelonger.

Intherecipes,thequantitiesmayemalittleunusual.

LikethecoconutMacholateholidaynutbars?

I'veindicatedfourcupsofcoconutandfourcupsofnuts...

...andonlyonetablespoonofMacholate.

Doesn'tmatter.

OurFDAapprovaldidn'tcomethrough.

Somethingaboutlaboratoryrats.

Gosh,I'msorry.

Yeah.

Anyhow,here'syourcheck.

Thankyouforallthetroubleyouwentthrough.

Listen,youdidn'teatalotofitwhileyouwerecooking,didyou?

Well,Iatesome.

Oh,notalot.

Soitdoesn'tburnwhenyoupee,doesit?

Isthathimagain?

TellhimI'dcometothephone,butmyanklesareweighingmedown.

Idon'tthinkthisisthebesttime.

Look,canyoudosomethingforme?

?

Allright.

Music?

Sure.

Thenextone'sdedicatedtoRachelfromRoss.

Rachel,hewantsyoutoknowhe'ssorryforwhathedid...

...andhehopesyoucanfinallyforgivehim.

Seethestonestinyoureyes

Seethethorntwistinyourside

I'llwaitforyou

Sleightofhandandtwistoffate

Onabedofnailsshemakesmewait

AndI'llwaitwithoutyou

We'vejustgottenacallfromRachelandshetolduswhatRossdid.

It',Ross,ifyou'relistening...

...Idon'twanttoplayyoursonganymore.

Whydon'twedevoteourtimetoacouplethatstandsachance?

Avery,Michelle'ssorryshehityouwithhercar...

...andshehopesyoutwowillworkitout.

There'saroomwhere

Icango

Andtellmycretsto

Inmyroom

Inmyroom

Thanksforcominginagain.

omorals,andIneedthecash.

It'slikeI'mlookinginamirror.

Anyway,they'recalledFish-tachios.

Theytasteexactlylikepistachios...

...butthey'remadeofreconstitutedfishbits.

Here,tryone.

-Allright.-You'renotallergictoanything?

Cathair.

Oh,sorry.