脆弱的英文

TED英语演讲：脆弱不是懦弱

与脆弱相⽐，羞耻(shame)，是⼀个更加让⼈觉得恐怖的话题。实际上光谈论这个话题就⾜以勾起

⼈的羞耻感。下⾯是⼩编为⼤家收集关于TED英语演讲：脆弱不是懦弱，欢迎借鉴参考。

TED演讲：脆弱不是懦弱，⽽是衡量勇⽓最准确的标尺

演讲者：BrenéBrown

演讲稿

I'pthemorningafterIgavethat

tuallydidn'tleavemyhouforaboutthree

days.

nIwalkedin,shewasalreadyatthe

wn,andshesaid,"God,youlooklikehell."Isaid,"eally--I'mnotfunctioning."

Andshesaid,"What'sgoingon?"AndIsaid,"Ijusttold500peoplethatIbecamearearchertoavoid

twhenbeingvulnerableemergedfrommydata,asabsolutelyesntialtowhole-

heartedliving,lidethatsaid'Breakdown.'Atwhat

pointdidIthinkthatwasagoodidea?"

Andshesaid,"littledifferentthanwhat

asgreat."AndIsaid,"Thiscan'e,they'reputtingthisthingon

'regoingtobetalkingabout600,700people."

Andshesaid,"Well,Ithinkit'stoolate."

AndIsaid,"Letmeaskyousomething."Andshesaid,"Yeah."Isaid,"Doyourememberwhenwe

wereincollege,reallywildandkindofdumb?"Shesaid,"Yeah."Isaid,"Rememberwhenwe'dleavea

reallybadmessageonourex-boyfriend'sansweringmachine?Thenwe'dhavetobreakintohisdormroom

andthenerathetape?"

Andshegoes,"Uh...no."

Ofcour,theonlythingIcouldsayatthatpointwas,"Yeah,--meneither."

AndI'mthinkingtomylf,"Brené,whatareyoudoing?Whydidyoubringthisup?Haveyoulost

yourmind?Yoursisterswouldbeperfectforthis."

SoIlookedbackupandshesaid,"Areyoureallygoingtotrytobreakinandstealthevideobefore

theyputitonYouTube?"

AndIsaid,"I'mjustthinkingaboutitalittlebit."

Shesaid,"You'reliketheworstvulnerabilityrolemodelever."

ThenIlookedatherandIsaidsomethingthatatthetimefeltalittledramatic,butendedupbeing

morepropheticthandramatic."If500turnsinto1,000or2,000,mylifeisover."

Ihadnocontingencyplanforfourmillion.

bethehardestpartaboutmylifeendingisthatI

learnedsomethinghardaboutmylf,andthatwasthat,asmuchasIwouldbefrustratedaboutnotbeing

abletogetmyworkouttotheworld,therewasapartofmethatwasworkingveryhardtoengineerstaying

small,nttotalkaboutwhatI'velearned.

There'stwothingsthatI'stis:

skyouhonestly--andI'llgiveyouthiswarning,I'mtrainedasa

therapist,soIcanout-waityouuncomfortably--soifyoucouldjustraiyourhandthatwouldbeawesome

--howmanyofyouhonestly,whenyou'rethinkingaboutdoingorsayingsomethingvulnerablethink,"God,

vulnerabilityisweakness."Howmanyofyouthinkofvulnerabilityandweaknesssynonymously?The

measkyouthisquestion:ThispastweekatTED,howmanyofyou,whenyou

sawvulnerabilityuphere,thoughtitwaspurecourage?evulnerability

amotionalrisk,exposure,'vecometothebelief--thisismy12th

yeardoingthisrearch--thatvulnerabilityisourmostaccuratemeasurementofcourage--tobe

vulnerable,toletourlvesbeen,tobehonest.

Oneoftheweirdthingsthat'shappenedis,aftertheTEDexplosion,Igotalotofofferstospeakall

overthecouanyof

thecallswentlikethis,",''d

appreciateitifyouwouldn'tmentionvulnerabilityorshame."

Whatwouldyoulikeformetotalkabout?There'mostly,tobehonest

withyou,fromthebusinessctor:innovation,creativityandchange.

Soletmegoontherecordandsay,vulnerabilityisthebirthplaceofinnovation,creativityand

change.

'snothingmorevulnerable

bilitytochangeisallaboutvulnerability.

Thecondthing,inadditiontoreallyfinallyunderstandingtherelationshipbetweenvulnerability

andcourage,thecondthingIlearned,isthis:'mgoingtobereally

ecamea"vulnerabilityrearcher"andthatbecamethefocusbecauoftheTED

talk--andI'mnotkidding.

I'hreemonthsago,Iwasinasportinggoodsstorebuyinggoggles

anromahundredfeet

away,thisiswhatIhear:"VulnerabilityTED!VulnerabilityTED!"

I'ilymottois"Lockandload."Iamnotanaturalvulnerability

'mlike,justkeepwalking,she'sonmysix.

AndthenIhear,"VulnerabilityTED!"Iturnaround,Igo,"Hi."She'srighthereandshesaid,"You're

theshamerearcherwhohadthebreakdown."

Atthispoint,parentsare,like,pullingtheirchildrenclo.

"Lookaway."AndI'msowornoutatthispointinmylife,IlookatherandIactuallysay,"Itwasa

frickingspiritualawakening."

Andshelooksbackanddoesthis,"Iknow."

Andshesaid,"readyourbookandwe

renamedourlves'TheBreakdownBabes.'"

Andshesaid,"Ourtaglineis:'We'refallingapartanditfeelsfantastic.'"

Youcanonlyimaginewhatit'slikeformeinafacultymeeting.

SowhenIbecameVulnerabilityTED,likeanactionfigure--LikeNinjaBarbie,butI'mVulnerability

TED--Ithought,I'mgoingtoleavethatshamestuffbehind,becauIspentsixyearsstudyingshame

ought,thankGod,becaushameisthis

horribletopic,'sthebestwaytoshutpeopledownonanairplane."Whatdo

youdo?""Istudyshame.""Oh."

AndIeyou.

Butinsurvivingthislastyear,Iwasremindedofacardinalrule--notarearchrule,butamoral

imperativefrommyupbringing--"you'vegottodancewiththeonewhobrungya".AndIdidnotlearnabout

vulnerabiliedaboutthe

nanalystscallshamethe

'purpoisnottowalkinandconstructahome

'swhy.

Weheardthemostcompellingcallevertohaveaconversationinthiscountry,andIthinkglobally,

aroundrace,right?Yes??eyou

npeoplestarttalkingaboutprivilege,they

dabrilliantsimplesolutiontonotkillingpeopleinsurgery,whichis,havea

'tfixthatproblemwithoutaddressingshame,becauwhentheyteachthofolkshowto

suture,-powerfulfolksdon't

needchecklists.

AndIhadtowritedownthenameofthisTEDFellowsoIdidn'nIngawale,

IhopeIdidrightbyyou.

otupandheexplainedhowhewasdrivento

createsometechnologytohelptestforanemia,aid,"I

nowwhatIdid?Imadeit."Andeverybodyjustburstintoapplau,andtheywere

like"Yes!"Andhesaid,"Anditdidn'twork.

AndthenImadeit32moretimes,andthenitworked."

YouknowwhatthebigcretaboutTEDis?Ican'I'mdoingitright

now.

Thisislikethefailureconference.

No,itis.

Youknowwhythisplaceisamazing?ne

whogetsonthestage,sofarthatI'veen,hasnotfailed.I'vefailedmirably,'tthinkthe

worldunderstandsthat,becauofshame.

There'peoplerefertoit

asthe"ManintheArena"oeslikethis:"tthemanwhosits

andpointsouthow

creditnhe'sin

thearena,atbest,hewins,andatworst,helos,butwhenhefails,whenhelos,hedoessodaring

greatly."

Andthat'swhatthisconference,tome,aboutdaringgreatly,aboutbeinginthe

uwalkuptothatarenaandyouputyourhandonthedoor,andyouthink,"I'mgoinginand

I'mgoingtotrythis,"shameisthegremlinwhosays,"Uh,'erfinished

ourdadreallywasn'tinLuxembourg,

oudon'tthinkthatyou'repretty,smart,talentedor

ourdadneverpaidattention,evenwhenyoumadeCFO."Shameisthatthing.

Andifwecanquietitdownandwalkinandsay,"I'mgoingtodothis,"welookupandthecriticthat

weepointingandlaughing,99percentofthetimeiswho?rivestwobigtapes--"nevergood

enough"--and,ifyoucantalkitoutofthatone,"whodoyouthinkyouare?"Thethingtounderstandabout

shameis,it'safocusonlf,s"Iambad."Guiltis"I

didsomethingbad."Howmanyofyou,ifyoudidsomethingthatwashurtfultome,wouldbewillingtosay,

"I'mistake?"Howmanyofyouwouldbewillingtosaythat?Guilt:I'

:I'stake.

There'e's

highly,highlycorrelatedwithaddiction,depression,violence,aggression,bullying,suicide,eating

e',

abilitytoholdsomethingwe''s

uncomfortable,butit'sadaptive.

Theotherthingyouneedtoknowaboutshameisit'e

washesovermeandwashesoverChris,it'nesittinginhereknowsthe

'reprettysurethattheonlypeoplewhodon'texperienceshamearepeoplewho

eans,yes,Ihavealittleshame;no,I'masociopath.

SoIwouldoptfor,yes,eelsthesameformenandwomen,butit's

organizedbygender.

Forwomen,thebestexampleIcangiveyouisEnjoli,thecommercial."Icanputthewashonthe

line,packthelunches,inghomethebacon,fryit

upinthepanandneverletyouforgetyou'reaman."Forwomen,shameis,doitall,doitperfectlyandnever

'tknowhowmuchperfumethatcommercialsold,butIguaranteeyou,itmoved

alotofantidepressantsandanti-anxietymeds.

Shame,forwomen,isthiswebofunobtainable,conflicting,competingexpectationsaboutwho

we''sastraight-jacket.

Formen,shameisnotabunchofcompeting,sone,donotbe

perceivedaswhat?'tuntilaman

lookedatmeafterabooksigning,andsaid,"Ilovewhatsayaboutshame,I'mcuriouswhyyoudidn't

mentionmen."AndIsaid,"Idon'tstudymen."Andhesaid,"That'sconvenient."

AndIsaid,"Why?"Andhesaid,"Becauyousaytoreachout,tellourstory,

youethobooksyoujustsignedformywifeandmythreedaughters?"Isaid,"Yeah.""They'dratherme

reachoutandbevulnerable,wegettheshit

'ttellmeit'ethewomeninmy

lifeareharderonmethananyoneel."

tIlearnedisthis:Youshowmea

womanwhocanactuallysitwithamaninrealvulnerabilityandfear,I'llshowyouawomanwho'sdone

wmeamanwhocansitwithawomanwho'sjusthadit,shecan'tdoitallanymore,

andhisfirstresponisnot,"Iunloadedthedishwasher!"

Buthereallylistens--becauthat'sallweneed--I'llshowyouaguywho'sdonealotofwork.

etoutfromunderneathit--tofindourwaybackto

eachother,wehavetounderstandhowitaffectsusandhowitaffectsthewaywe'reparenting,theway

we'reworking,thewaywe'ickly,somerearchbyMahalikatBoston

d,whatdowomenneedtodotoconformtofemalenorms?Thetopanswersinthis

country:nice,thin,modestanduallavailableresourcesforappearance.

Whenheaskedaboutmen,whatdomeninthiscountryneedtodotoconformwithmalenorms,

theanswerswere:alwaysshowemotionalcontrol,workisfirst,pursuestatusandviolence.

Ifwe'regoingtofindourwaybacktoeachother,wehavetounderstandandknowempathy,

becauempathy'utshameinaPetridish,itneedsthreethingstogrow

exponentially:crecy,utthesameamountinaPetridishanddouitwith

empathy,itcan'mostpowerfulwordswhenwe'reinstruggle:metoo.

AndsoI''regoingtofindourwaybacktoeachother,

owit'sductivetostandoutsidethearena,becauIthinkI

diditmywholelife,andthinktomylf,I'mgoingtogointhereandkicksomeasswhenI'mbulletproofand

whenI'truthis,nifyougotasperfect

asyoucouldandasbulletproofasyoucouldpossiblymusterwhenyougotinthere,that'snotwhatwewant

ustwant,forourlves

andthepeoplewecareaboutandthepeopleweworkwith,todaregreatly.

yappreciate

it.