英语舞台剧剧本,五到十分钟

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）

——金科

Wanderveryfivemiles

焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝

Lunch(Lforshort)

焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母

Lunch’smother(LMforshort)

太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强

盗Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue

(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒引人入胜的意思,J被

打中把握你的美mv,狼狈不堪)

J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,but

infact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy

wifeisWuSong.

(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidof

you!

(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着

头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?

MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswoman

raverthanme,

s

anthertobetenderthan

isnot!Havingawifelikethisis

justlikelivinginthehell!

Asyoue,peoplelivearoundhereall

中国时代之声演讲团,Iamnotaman逐渐的近义词语,

Iamahandsomeman.(手撩头发做臭美状)

(内又砸出一卷纸筒五带头,击中J)

MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)

Act1

(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)

JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!

(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?

L(扎着围裙历史教学论文,拿着锅铲青山不老主要内容,从门内跳出来):I’m

here!What’supmum?

JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyou

shouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgraceful

anddearestmother-in-law”.

L:beautifulgracefuland

dearestmother-in-law地名谜语大全,what’sup?（口气很不

情愿）

JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhave

ebeensorude回族的习俗,so

brusque开斋节2022年是哪天,solazy……

L:But……

JM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Neverinterruptme!（手势）SinceI

marriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny（语气重

点头）,Ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,

aid（掰手指头

数）tensofthousandsofpigsandducksand

chickenand……

JM:Butallthoyouhavedonearenotas

valuableasagrandson!

L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh教师节的诗句古诗,youwanta

grandson心旷神怡造句,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandask

yourson环保作文100字.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的

脸上韩信点兵下一句,下)

Act2

(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)

L:Mum,I’mback!

LM:（惊讶睁大眼）Youareback?Why?

Whathappened?

L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautiful

gracefulanddearestmother–in-law高三数学.（怨愤抱

拳在胸前）

LM(惊讶石油工人入党申请书,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神

情):See!（手指向兰芝）Ihavealreadytold

you!（咳嗽两声）Whenyouinsistedon

marryingthatterribleJohnny,（咳）Itoldyou

thatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnot

yourlf……（咳咳咳）

L:But,mum……（很委屈温声细语）

LM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Mum,I’

wanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?

AndI’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto

LM(大喜):Nicegirl!（竖大拇指）Justnow2011重庆高考语文,

Imetthemayor`

said:“Ifyourdaughterhaven’tbeenmarried,I

reallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouare

freeagain,I’llgoandtellhim.(下)

L(惊愕):What?（手捂下巴）Themayor`s

son?Themostfamousplayboyinthe

neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)Whata

sillythingIhavedone!No,Iwillnotmarrya

manlikethat!（扭身子撒娇）

LM:Butheisreallyhandsome…

L:...ok,goahead!

Act3

(J睡眼惺忪上)

J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemy

socks?

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Herethey

are!(闻一下)Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestill

dirty!

(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowash

themmylf中央委员 级别.

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’mso

hungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的

围裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imiss

hersomuch不寒而栗的近义词,andherexcellentcookingskill!

ocookformy

motherandmylf物联网工程就业前景.

JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’s

Lunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?

J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhas

gone!（手揉眼哭）

JM(沉吟片刻):Well如果明天,totellyouthetruth

Johnny行政文员,

isanicegirl,goandtakeherback!

J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!

Act4

(J开心地走着（慢跑状步行），忽然跳出

来三个强盗)J往后一跳，手放下巴下面

A:Heyyou!（指J）Stopandlistentous!

（指自己胸口）

Theroadisbuiltbyme!(单手人猿泰山状

抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

B:AndIplantedonetree!(竖食指做1状传统媒体是意识形态工作的主战场最前沿，

亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩

石头，但踩到了A的脚)

AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!（齐伸手）

J(搜遍了每一个口袋搞笑诗句，掏出１角硬币):Is

1maoenough?

(三强盗晕倒状最悲伤作文，接着三人聚在一边商量)

A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!

B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday心理咨询完整对话记录,we

willhavenothingtoeattonight!

C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingto

o

androbthewedding!

A&B:Goodidea!

J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtoget

married?It’simpossible!

AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarich

man生物必修2复习提纲,whatagoodcouple!

J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgot

divorcedyet!

(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youare

goingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo

ethemoneyandItakethe

bride陇海大院.

B:Haveyougotanyexperience?

J:’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面

摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００

强盗头头念出来)

Act5

(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红

绸牵着新娘上，L盖着红盖头极不情愿地被

拉上台)

L(tohermother):Dontyousayheis

handsome?（委屈状手放下巴）

LM:no!Ijustsayhehassomehands民间美术.搞笑日志大全.

(J和三强盗跃至台中)

ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!

A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!

B:AndIplantedonetree研讨会致辞.

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---

J:Giveusallyourmoney!（张开怀抱）

(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)

L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J2020开学第一课读后感，

拥抱，并躲到了J的身后，J做老母鸡张翅

状护住)

(MS大怒周末休息，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲消防宣传口号，MS

打中了J身后的L春朱自清教案，L晕倒)

J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥

拳向MS冲去）

(J与MS混战五瓣丁香，JM上教师个人基本信息表，以拐杖击晕MS)

(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)

J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey跳蚤市场策划书,howareyou?

L(哭状):Ihurtalot!

J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthe

medicine.(下)

L(起身去追):Waitforme!(跑下)

(音乐起CanYouCelebrate)