新托福口语练****材料——关于批评(1)
DoesCriticismDoMoreHarmThanGoodtoPeople?
Text
AYoungWomanWhoFearsCompliments
Marya,abrilliantgraduatestudentinherearlytwentieswhocameforconsultation.Insistedthat
shecouldimproveonlywithcriticism(1).Herreasoningwasthatsheknewthegoodqualitiesbutthat
shedidnotknowthebadones.Tohavemoreknowledgeofhernegativequalities,shebelieved,would
addtoherlf-understanding(2)andthunablehertoeherlfmorecompletely.Marya,ineffect,
refudtoacknowledgeandtounderstandherstrengths.Shehadasmbleddetailedlistsofher
negativequalitieswhichsheuddailytosupportanextremelynegativeviewofherlf.Buttheywere
eitherexaggeratedorunreal(3).
Despiteherattractivenesstoothers,sheconvincedherlfthatshewasugly.Whenherfamily
boughthernewandwell-designedarticlesofclothing(sheldomboughtanyherlf),sheleftthem
hangingintheclotforweeksbeforewearingthemonce.Whensomeonecomplimentedheronwhat
shewore(4)andaskedwhetheritwasnew,shecouldhonestlyanswerno.Shedidnot"derve"to
wearnewclothes.Shecouldnotbearthepainofhearingcompliments,ofeingherlfasintelligent,
pretty,orworthwhile(5).
Asachild,Maryahadreceivedlittleornocriticismfromherparents.Shewasprizedbythem.
Theirmajordisappointmentinherapparentlywasthatsheoftenrejectedtheiroverturesofkindness
andappreciation,notinangerbutinembarrassment,(6)asthoughshewereunderving.This
eminglymild-manneredyoungwoman,(7)exceptionallycourteousjudgmentwithtenacity(8).
finally,friendsandinterestedfacultymembersquitaccedingtoherpersuasiverequestsforcriticism(9)
thattheycouldnothonestlygive.Instead,theygentlybutfirmlyconfrontedherwithherownblindness
towhatshetrulywaslike(10).
I.Listen
Listentothetextwiththehelpofthefollowingnotes.
1.shecouldimproveonlywithcriticism:只有批评才能使她进步。
2.Tohavemoreknowledgeofhernegativequalities,...,wouldaddtoherlf-understanding:更多
地知道她的短处将会增加她的自我了解。
3.theywereeitherexaggeratedorunreal:它们或是夸张,或是根本不真实。
4.someonecomplimentedheronwhatshewore:有人称赞她所穿的衣服。
5.Shecouldnotbearthepainofhearingcompliments,ofeingherlfasintelligent,pretty,or
worthwhile:听到别人的赞扬之辞,看到自己是一个聪明、漂亮的有用的人来说是一种痛苦,对
此她不能忍受。
6.sheoftenrejectedtheiroverturesofkindnessandappreciation,notinangerbutinembarrassment:
她常常拒绝他们表示慈爱和称赞并非由于生气,而是由于难为情。
7.Thiseminglymild-manneredyoungwoman:这位貌似温顺的年轻女性。
8.heldontoherownnegativelf-judgmentwithtenacity:顽固地坚持对她自己的否定态度。
9.friendsandinterestedfacultymembersquitaccedingtoherpersuasiverequestsforcriticism:朋
友及关心她和教师们不再答应她颇具说服力的要求批评的请求。
10.theygentlybutfirmlyconfrontedherwithherownblindnesstowhatshetrulywaslike:他们温
和却又坚决地向她指出她对自己的实际情况完全视而不见。
新托福口语练****材料——关于批评(1)
II.Read
Readthefollowingpassages.Underlinetheimportantviewpointswhilereading.
1.UnfairCriticism
Stuartisatypicalsixteen-year-oldboywhoexperiencedandsufferedfromthecriticismofan
alcoholicparentitemedtoStuarttheonlythinghisfathereverhadtosaytohimwas."Youhaven’t
gotabraininyourhead."Stuartwasasophomoreinhighschool.Itwastruehewasapoorstudent,or
whathisdeancalledan"underachiever".EventoughsStuartknewhewasanunderachiever,hewould
havelikedtohearhisfathersay,justonce,somethingelwhenhethoughthomehisreportcardother
thanhisusual,"Youhaven’tgotabraininyourhead."
Stuartwasdeterminedtoprovetohisfatherhedidhavearaininhishead.Stuartstudiedveryhard.
Somenightsitwasdifficultforhimtoconcentrateonhishomeworkbecauhecouldhearhisparents
bickeringinthenextroom.
"Youforgottopaythemortgageagain.Thebankisfedup."
"Howmanytimescanapersonsmashupacar?I’msurpridtheyhaven’ttakenyourlicen
away!"
"Ifyouwouldn’tdrinksomuch..."
Stuartdidn’tlikethebickering,andwonderedifhisparentsmightparate.Hewondered,too
becauhisfatherwassoforgetfulaboutpayingthebills,iftheymightlotheirhome.
Hekepttellinghimlfthatifhestudiedhard,maybe,bysomemiracle,thingswouldgetbetterat
home.
Stuart’sdeterminationtoconcentrateonhisschoolwork,inspiteofthebickeringandworriesat
home,paidoff.Hisnextreportcardshowedamarkedimprovement.Therewavenapersonalnoteof
praifromhisdeanwrittenonthereportcard.
ProudlyStuartputthereportcardonhisfather’sdesk.Stuartfelthappierthanhehadfeltinalong
time.Heknewthathisfathercouldonlybepleadwithsuchareport,butmoreimportant,maybenow
hisfatherwouldrealizethathewasintelligentandwouldstartpayingsomeattentiontohim.Stuart
couldrememberwhenhisfatherudtogotoballgamesandmovieswithhim.Whoknew?Maybe
thingswouldgobacktothewaytheyudtobe.Stuartwouldoffertogetapart-timejobtohelppay
offsomeofthebills.Hethoughtthatmightlesnsomeofthearguingathomeandkeepthefamily
frombreakingup.Hewouldlethisfatherknowthathewasoldenoughtounderstandthingsweren’t
alwayasyattheoffice.
WhenStuart’sfathercamehomeandsawthereport,hesaidwithoutanyhesitation,"Well,well,
whodidtheworkforyou?Iknowyoudon’thavethebrainstodoit!"
Stuartwasstunned.Allthatworkfornothing!Hewouldn’tbesurpridifhisfathernotonly
thoughthewasstupidbuthatedhim,too.
Stuartwouldnothavebeenashurtifhehadonlyknownhisfatherwastiedupinhisown
mirablefeelings.ThiskepthimfromrecognizingwhatStuarthadaccomplishedinschool.
2.UsofCriticism
Whilesomeofushaveatendencytodisbelieveortominimizethegoodthingspeoplesayabout
us,othersamongushaveatendencytoholdaprotectivewebaroundourlvesindefenagainst
criticism.Oneworkshopparticipantsaid,"Iconfutheissuebygettinglogicalinthefaceof
threateningreactions.SometimesIacthelplesssootherswillstopthecriticism".Earlyintheworkshop
experiencehehadreceivedmorenegativethanpositivereactions.Whilehewasfearfulofcriticism,he
foundthathehadcourtedit,hopingthathecouldlearnhowtohandleitandovercomehisfear.
Wemaycourtnegativereactionsforotherreasons.Atherapygroupmemberregardedcriticismas
moreufulthancompliments,andcriticismiswhatheoftengot-notbecauheaskedforitdirectly,
butbecauofhisdetachedmanner,asthoughheweresittinginjudgmentofothers.Moreover,his
tendencytoqualifyandhedgehisopinionsandfeelingsuntiltheyhadnomeaningoftenbroughtdown
theirdispleasurestoically,asthoughitstrengthenedhim.Heneveropenlycriticizedothermembers,
however.
Stillanothermember,whoclaimedthat"criticismisthestuffthatwegrowon",gaveothers
criticismgaloresotheycouldimproveand,inhiswords,"notappearinanegativelightinthefuture,"
Thismembercameacrossasusinghisostensibleconcernforthegrowthofothersasanexcuto
criticizeandattackthem.
3.IsItRighttoWithholdOne’sReactionstoOthers?
Itisnotuncommonforustowithholdourreactionstoothers.Wemayholdbackcomplimentsfor
fearofembarrassmenttothemandtoourlves.Wemayholdbackcriticismforfearofbeingdisliked
orconsideredunfair,orforfearofhurtinganotherperson.Reactionsgiveninconsideratelymayindeed
hurtothers.Ontheotherhand,someofusareinclinedtowithholdourreactionsfromotherswhileat
thesameofusareinclinedtowithholdourreactionsfromotherswhileatthesametimewehonestly
preferthantheynotholdbacktheirsfromus.Wemayhavetwodifferentrules.Thefirstonemaybe:If
weaskothersforcandidreactionstoourbehavior,tosomethingwehavedoneorplantodo,wewant
themtotellusstraight,includingthenegativewiththepositive.Thecondrulemaybe:Ifsomeone
elasksusforsimilarreactions,weareinclinedtoholdbackorglossoverthenegativeandembroider
thepositive.
4.CriticismIsaKindofDemandonThoCriticized
Aschildren,manyofusgotagreatdealofcriticismand,asaresult,learnedavarietyofpatterns
forcopingwithit.maryahadapparentlyreceivedlittlecriticism,buttknowingthatshewasnotperfect
anddervedwhatotherchildrengot,developedherownpatternsoflf-judgmentandcensure.Being
judged,whetherweareunderestimatedoroverestimated,usuallyimpliesademand,subtleordirect,
thatwechange.Ifothersdonotdemandchange,wemayfeeltheneedtodemanditofourlves.
Reactionsthatarerelativelyfreefromattemptstochangeordiscreditus,givenbysomeonewho
caresfrous,andwiththeintentionoflettingusknowwhatimpressionswearemaking,maybeeasier
totake.If,however,ourusualreactionistodefendourlves,evenmildcriticismorimpressionsgiven
gentlywithoutdemandsthatwechangemayplayhavocourdefensivestructureandbecomedifficultto
handle.
5.HowtoHandleCriticism
Thesurgeonreachedoverandjerkedthesyringeoutofthenur’shand."Jane,that’sthesloppiest
injectionI’veeveren!"hesnapped.Quickly,hisfingersfoundtheveinshehadbeenarchingfor.
Cheeksburning,Janeturnedaway.Tenyearslater,Jane’sVoicestilltrembleswhensherelatedthe
experience.
Someofourmaleco-workershaveiteasier.Theygrewupencouragedtoplayteamsports,and
theyhadtohandleacoach’syellswhentheydroppedtheball.Nowtheycanethatagoofonthejob
islikedroppingtheballinfootball;thefumbleimbarrassing,butyoutakeitinstrideandgoon.
Butformostwomen,thepathtosuccesswasdifferent.Asgirls,wegrewupwantingtobepopular;
wewerepraidforwhatwewere,notforwhatwedid.Soourreactiontocriticismisoften,"Someone
doesn’tlikeme.Ifailedtoplea.I’mafailure".
"Igetdefensive,"saysRhonda,ateacher,"Whensomeonecriticizesme,suddenlyI’malittlegirl
again,beingscolded,andIwanttomakeexcus.Iwanttoexplainthatit’snotmyfault-it’ssomeone
el’s,orIwanttohideandcry".
6.TakeaTactfulApproach
Howaboutgivingcriticism?Theold"I-want-to-be-liked"syndromecanmakeitashardtogive
criticismastotakeit.Karenthinksshe’sfoundtheanswer.
"TwoweeksafterIwaspromotedtofirst-linesupervisor,"sheremembers,"Ihadtotellafriend
thatshewasintroublefornotturninginherweeklyreportsontime.MybosssuggestedthatItellJudy
Ididn’twanttofixtheblame-Ijustwantedtofixtheproblem.ThatJudyandsheofferedthesolution."
Criticismintheworkplace,whetheryou’regivingitorgettingit,isalwaysmoreeffectivewhen
youfocusonthetaskratherthanontheperson.Fixingtheproblem,nottheblame,meansthatnobody
hastofeelchewedoutorchewedup.Wecanstillfeelwholeandlearnsomethingintheprocess.
新托福口语练****材料——关于批评(1)
III.Consider
Doescriticismdomoreharmthangoodtopeople?
Arguments
1.Onewillimproveonlywithcriticismbecaugenerallyspeaking,oneknowsone’sgood
qualitiesbetterthanone’sbad.
2.Criticismhelpspeopletoknowtheirnegativequalitiesbetterandwilladdtotheir
lf-knowledge.
3.Veryoftencriticismismoreufulthancomplimentsbecauthocriticizedcanimproveand
willnotmakethesamemistakesinthefuture.
4.Beingcriticizedmeanstobejudged.Suchjudgmentimpliesachange,wemayfeeltheneedto
demanditofourlves.
5.Criticismworkffectivelywhenitfocusonthetaskthatisbeingdone.
6.Oneshouldnottakeanegativeattitudetowardscriticism,forsuchanattitudewillkeeponefrom
knowingwhatothersreallythinkofone.
7.Inourchildhoodweallgotagreatdealofcriticismand,asaresult,learninghowtohandle
criticismisnotnewtous.
8.Criticismtousislikemedicinetothesick
9.Onlythowhocareforuswillofferuscriticisminordertostopusfromerring.
10.Eventhoughsomecriticismcomesfromunfriendlyintentions,stillitcanbetakenasawarning.
Counter-arguments
1.Criticismdoesmoreharmthangoodtoone’sconfidenceanddignity
2.Inreallifepeopletendtoholdaprotectivewebaroundthemlvesindefenagainstcriticism,
forcriticismisusuallyveryhurtful.
3.Criticismmakespeopleloconfidenceandbecomeverynegativeaboutthemlves.
4.Somepeopleofillwillutheirostensibleconcernforthegrowthofothersasanexcuto
criticizedandattackthem.
5.Itisnotuncommonfromanynsiblepeopletowithholdtheircriticismforfearofbeingdisliked
orconsideredunfair,orforfearofhurtinganotherperson.
6.Criticism,withfewexceptions,discreditsus,whatwehavedone,orwhatweplantodo.
7.Criticismisauthoritarianbecauittsunreasonabledemandsonthocriticized.
8.Criticismshouldfocusontheproblem,ifthereshouldbeany.Veryoftenitisthepersonwho
getspickedon.
