美剧Boston Legal波士顿法律第1季第7集剧本(英文)

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2022年8月8日发
(作者:法人章)

BostonLegal

QuestionableCharacters

Season1,Episode7

WrittenbyLukasReiter

©Productions

Broadcast:ovember21,2004

Transcribedbyolucy

Middleofthenight,entifiedmanputsaskimask

overhishead,takesoutarevolver,andentersthestore.

MichaelShea:Givemethemoney!

GeorgeKeene:Agh!

MichaelShea:C’mon,c’mon,hatIsay,you’renotgonnagethurt.

GeorgeKeene:Okay,okay,rkisstartingtogathermoney.

MichaelShea:,’sgo.

Whilethemaskedmanislookingtowardsthedoortoseeifanyoneiscoming,theclerk

takesagunoutofthedrawer,aimsandshootstherobber,whofallsbackward,knocking

ardlygetsupandstumblesoutthedoor.

OutsidetheAlohaInn,thesignandneonhulagirlareblinkingorange,pinkandgreen.

Inside,lsonwakesupnexttoAlanShore,

kesup.

TaraWilson:dgo.

AlanShore:Why?

TaraWilson:Becauseit’yshouldgo.

AlanShore:Earlymeeting?

TaraWilson:Ineed—o

artstorollover,ocheckmymail.I

spulledthesheetoverhishead,iscompletelyhiddenandis

nuzzlingtherestofherbodywhileshelaughs.I’mgoingtobesolateforwork.

AlanShore:(underthesheet,muffled)I’llwriteyouanote.

rriedlygetsontheelevator,putsonsomemakeupandchecks

herselfinhercompactmirror,roachesthe

receptiondesk,whereLoriColsonischeckingmessages.

TaraWilson:Morning.

LoriColson:You’relate.

TaraWilson:Missedmorningrollcall,didI?

LoriColson:YouhadtheSapchekdepositionat9:00.

TaraWilson:Oh,God,Loriforgiveme.I—

LoriColson:Icalledyouthreeorfourtimes?Wherewereyou?

TaraWilson:Intheshower.

LoriColson:ewshampoo?

TaraWilson:Excuseme?

LoriColson:Yourhairsmellsalittledifferent.I’malwaysonthelookoutforanewconditioner,

soI’mabitofaserialhairsniffer.

TaraWilson:I—Iuse,um,severaldifferentshampoos.I’mnotsurewhichoneIusedtoday.

Anythingelse?

LoriColson:itmoreyesterday.

Alanapproachesthereceptiondesk.

AlanShore:,oking…atyourwatch.

’scellphoneringsandsheanswers.

LoriColson:ThisisLoriColson.

MichaelShea:Lori,’’sMichaelShea.

1

LoriColson:Michael,what’swrong?Whereareyou?

MichaelShea:Um,ashe’sliftedontoagurney.I’matBostonGeneral,I’min

theemergencyroom,allright?Igot—somebodyshotme.

LoriColson:What?

MichaelShea:Listen,I’ldyoujustplease

hurry?There’oneofthedoctorsmust’y’re

oujusthurry?

LoriColson:’tsayanything.I’monmyway.I’llberightthere.

Credits.

Insidethehospitalemergencyroom,filledwithmedicalpersonnelandsomepolice

officers,oneofwhomstopsLoriColsonassheenters.

PoliceOfficer:Helpyou?

LoriColson:IneedtoseeMichaelShea.

PoliceOfficer:Youfamily?

LoriColson:I’standyou’vebeenquestioningmyclient.

PoliceOfficer:TakeitupwiththeA.D.A.

ADAMarkWills:tchedtothedarkside.

LoriColson:Mark,where’sMichaelShea?

ADAMarkWills:gothimselfshotinthechest.

LoriColson:dforcounsel.

ADAMarkWills:Hedidn’taskme.

LoriColson:Areyoucharginghim?

ADAMarkWills:’restillinvestigating.

LoriColson:Investigatingwhat?

ADAMarkWills:Idon’tneedtotellyouthat.

LoriColson:Ifhe’snotarrested,’tneedtotellyouthat.

ADAMarkWills:Yourclient’’rewelcometoseehimas

soonashe’sout.

LoriColson:(loudly)Michael?MichaelShea?Canyouhearme?

MichaelShea:Lori?That’,couldyouletherinplease?

LoriColson:Youheardhim,eoplearewitnesses.

MichaelShea:Lori.

LoriColson:(todoctor)Canyougiveusaminute?

DoctorRandall:Yeah.

LoriColson:Michael,whatisgoingon?

MichaelShea:Ididn’tdoanything.

LoriColson:Yougotshot,icearehere.

MichaelShea:Lori,—Ididn’twantto

me.

LoriColson:Michael,thepolicethinkthatyou’reasuspect,idsomething—

lookatme!Ineedyoutotellmethetruth.

MichaelShea:Lori,Ididn’tdoanything,okay?Iswear.

InsideJudgeClarkBrown’scourtroom.

Clerk:Docketending477—PeopleversusWalterMack.

AlanShore:YourHonor,whilethiscaseismarkedfortrial,infact,thedefendantwouldliketo

acceptaplea.

JudgeClarkBrown:Isthatso?

ADAAllisonHayes:ange,we’d

recommendprobation.

JudgeClarkBrown:That’’reawareofthat?

ADAAllisonHayes:Yes,YourHonor.

JudgeClarkBrown:dADAHayesapproachthebench.

(toADAHayes)Idon’ficegetsbehind,soyoujustletcriminalswalk?

2

AlanShore:It’sreassuringtoseethatyouhaven’tformedanyconclusionsaboutmyclient’sguilt

orinnocence.

JudgeClarkBrown:Youknowwhatmymotheralwayssays?Ifitsmellsfunny,I’mnoteatingit.

AlanShore:Exactoppositeofmymotto.

JudgeClarkBrown:Thisdealsmellsfunny.

ADAAllisonHayes:IfImay,YourHonor,theobjecthereistoenhancethequalityoflifeforthe

’spreparedtomakeconsiderable—

JudgeClarkBrown:ecthereistosendamessagetoeverylandlordinBoston.

Treatpeoplelikeanimals,wewillcageyoulikeone.

AlanShore:Idon’tmeantopry,YourHonor,butiseverythingokayathome?

JudgeClarkBrown:you.

AlanandADAHayesreturntotheirtables.

JudgeClarkBrown:,tobuilda

gntoread“Iamaslumlord.”Becausesir,that’swhat

youare.

WalterMack:Judge,youdon’tknowwhatI’vatorintheGreenStreet

building–overtheirgraffiti,it’sback

thatday.I’am.

JudgeClarkBrown:YouaretostandinfrontofyourGreenStreetpropertywearingsaidsignfor

nolessthanfourcontinuoushours.

AlanShore:YourHonor,Icannotallowmyclienttobesubjectedtoanextra-judicialpenalty

whoseonlypurposeistohumiliate.

JudgeClarkBrown:Getusedtoit,etopofmyhead,I

canrememberthecaseofawomanwhodidn’ge

drivingdefendantwasforcedtoputa

wasorderedtoplaceanadinthepaperadmittingthatshe

,whendiditbecomewrongtofeelscornforacriminal?

AlanShore:Thissentencegoesbeyondscorn,veknownmyclientfor

tacriminal.

JudgeClarkBrown:I’mnotatallinterestedinyouropinion,’twantthe

deal,oulose,yourdefendantwillgotoprison,over.

Youhave60seconds.

AlanShore:It’syourcall,Walter.

WalterMack:I’hours,thiswillallbeover.

Sameday,insidethehospitalemergencyroom,LoriistalkingtoADAMarkWillsinfront

ofthreepoliceofficers.

LoriColson:Hesayshegotjumpedonthewayhome.

ADAMarkWills:Youbelievehim?

LoriColson:Ihavenoreasonnotto.

ADAMarkWills:Look,

getsashotoff,minuteslater,yourguyshowsuphere.

LoriColson:ung

lSheadoesn’tdostick-ups.

ADAMarkWills:Youdon’israps—priorassault,gunpossession.

LoriColson:CanItalktoyouforaminute?

ADAMarkWills:tionshimawayfromtheofficerstotalkinprivate.

LoriColson:Okaylook,pedhimonthatreceivingcase.

ADAMarkWills:Hewasyourinformant?

LoriColson:bighelptous,’tthinkhewoulddothis.

ADAMarkWills:Well,we’regonnaknowsoonenough.

LoriColson:Meaningwhat?

ADAMarkWills:Hospital’atbulletcomesout,

theslugmatchesthestoreowner’sgun,he’sguilty.

3

Sameday,AlanShoreswalksintotheofficesofCP&SandismetbyDennyCrane,who

startswalkingwithhim.

DennyCrane:llthesethings.I’mapeopleperson.

AlanShore:EverappearbeforearavingloonnamedClarkBrown?

DennyCrane:Oh,loon.70yearsold,d

hedototickyouoff?

AlanShore:Humiliatedaclientforreasonsofpurebileandsport.

DennyCrane:bunchofcaseswherethejudges

shamedthedefendant.

AlanShore:’dyouknow?

DennyCrane:Becausethejudgeinallthosecases–

AlanShore:JudgeBrown.

DennyCrane:Ravingloon.

Sameday,insidetheemergencyroom,whereLoriColsonistalkingtoherpatientathis

bedside.

MichaelShea:Theywantthebullet?

LoriColson:’swhythey’rehere—sotheycanmatchitagainstthestoreowner’s

gun.

MichaelShea:Idon’tfeelsogood.

LoriColson:Willitmatch,Michael?WhatexactlyamIdealingwithhere?Theyaresuddenly

joinedbyadoctorwithanx-ray.

l:You’realuckyman,shotweresixincheslower,I’dbetalkingtoa

corpse.

MichaelShea:SoI’mnotdying?

l:o,you’removethebullet,you’llbefine.

MichaelShea:Whatifyoudon’t?

l:Don’twhat?

MichaelShea:Ifyoudon’tremoveit?YoujustsaidI’mstable,right?

l:Well,tbulletcouldpunctureyourheartwall,.

MichaelShea:Okay,well,IthinkI’llriskit.

l:Whatdoyoumean,you’llriskit?

LoriColson:Uh,Ineedamomentwithmyclient.

l:Wehavetogethimuptosurgery.

LoriColson:torleaves.

MichaelShea:Okay,I’’sbig.

LoriColson:Michael—

MichaelShea:Lori,youknowmyrecord.I’tmeforthis,I’mgonnago

’sgonnabe30years.

Thedoctorrejoinsthem.

l:We’movalisn’toptional.

LoriColson:ck,ntdoesn’

youignorehiswishes,I’mafraidtheconsequencescouldbesignificantforthishospital,andyou

personally.

l:Youcan’tbeserious.

LoriColson:tbulletstayswhereitis.

Sameday,LoriistalkingtoPaul,whoisseatedathisdeskinhisoffice.

LoriColson:Imean,it’sabalancingtest,right?Legitimatestateinterestinrecoveringprobative

felonycaseev

venwin.

PaulLewiston:But?

LoriColson:ButamIsupposetouseallofmylegalskillssoMichaelSheacanleaveabulletin

hisbodyanddiefromit?

PaulLewiston:ow,thedoctordidn’tsayhewouldnecessarilydie,right?

4

LoriColson:eyousaying?Thatit’sall

righttowalkaroundwithanine-millimetersluginyourchest?

PaulLewiston:Well,asyouknow,mypolicyistoalwaysremovebulletsimmediatelyafterI’m

,isyourclientcompetent?

LoriColson:Isuppose.

PaulLewiston:Ishebeingclearincommunicatinghiswishestoyou?

LoriColson:Yes.

PaulLewiston:Haveyouvigorouslypresentedalternativecoursestohim?

LoriColson:Paul,I’y,I’ngtherightthing?

PaulLewiston:You’nquiry.

TaraWilsonisdescendingthestairsatCP&SandLorimeetsher.

LoriColson:Oh,,Ineedsomehelp.

TaraWilson:hroughthetranscriptandfoundatleastsevenplaces

whereSapchekhadmisrepresentedhimself.

LoriColson:Uh,nthasabulletinhischestanddoesn’

toshowotherwise.

TaraWilson:There’sabulletinhischest,andhedoesn’twantitout.

LoriColson:asyoucan.

Sameday,inarun-downpartoftown,WalterMackistalkingtoacourtofficerinfrontof

hisGreenStreetproperty.

CourtOfficer:Again,,I’

know,itisJudgeBrown’sorderthatyouaretowalkadistanceof50feet,turn,retraceyoursteps,

andturnagain,nderstand?

WalterMack:Iunderstand.

Thecourtofficertakesalarge“sandwichboard”andslipsitoverWalterMack’

whiteboardsays“Iamaslumlord”dersarelaughingand

tauntinghim.“Goon,then.”“.”

Tenant#1:o!Oh,ain’tthatcute.

Tenant#2:Yeah.(lookingatMack’ssign)Tellussomethingwedon’tknow.

Tenant#3:Takealookatthis.

Tenant#4:Hey,youknowwhothatis?That’’goodWalt!icesign!He’s

sportin’it,’rebothlaughing.

Tenant#3:Hey,putalittlesumpthin-sumpthinintoit.C’,Walter!

Hecklingandjeeringcontinuesasacouplepeoplechant“march,march,march.”

Tenant#1:Ooh!Thatevillook!

Tenant#2:Poitierwannabe.

Sameday,insideJudgeChristineWilcox’sittingatatablewithTara,

acrossfromADAMarkWills.

ADAMarkWills:Weneedthebullet,’’re

entitledtoretrieveit.

LoriColson:Retrieveit?,theywanttotakeaknifeandsliceopenmy

apatentlyunreasonablesearch

ADAMarkWills:rthastoapplyabalancing

test.

JudgeChristineWilcox:WhatexactlyamIbalancing,?

ADAMarkWills:Theriskandintrusiontothedefendantagainstsociety’sinterestinsolvingthis

crime.

LoriColson:Therisks,YourHonor,’retalkingaboutcuttingtheskin,

extensiveprobing,retractingthetissue—

ADAMarkWills:Oh,ethedoctor’ords,thisisasimple

procedure.

JudgeChristineWilcox:Youmustadmit,MissColson,thelawdoesn’tprotectdefendantsfrom

tecan,forexample,takebloodfromadrunkdrivingsuspect.

5

LoriColson:asurgeryundergeneralanesthesia

wheretherearetangible,carrest,hypocapnea,hypotension—

ADAMarkWills:Yeah,’snotin

danger.

LoriColson:YourHonor,nttodrugmyclientuntilheis

eywanttocuthimopen.

ADAMarkWills:It’ryisminimal.

LoriColson:IfwecanforcepeopleontoanoperatingtablesotheStatecantrollforevidence,

theFourthAmendmentmeansnothing.

JudgeChristineWilcox:,otherthanthisbullet,doyouhaveanythingatallto

thiscrime?

ADAMarkWills:Uh,no,sentirelineofarg—

JudgeChristineWilcox:Well,IsupposeIcouldfindprobablecausebasedsolelyonthenature

’swound,butthatwouldn’tbeenough.

ADAMarkWills:IfIcouldjustbeheard—

JudgeChristineWilcox:thandlocationofthewound,theuseof

generalanesthesia,thepotentialofnervedamage,cardiacarrest,howeversmall,therisksare

hatkindofintrusionunreasonable.

Sameday,insideajailhouse,Alanisbeingletintoajailcellbyasecurityguard.

AlanShore:What’swrong?Whathappened?

DennyCrane:There’snothingwrong.

AlanShore:Denny,you’inghashappenedandsomethingis

wrong.

DennylooksawayfromAlan,andthrustsouthisarm,holdingapieceofpaper,whichAlan

takesandreads.

AlanShore:“Ihavebeenarrestedforsolicitation.”Dennylookshumiliated.

Laterthatday,’sGreenStreetproperty,whereheisstillpacingwith

arestillshoutingandjeering.

Tenant#1:Youknowwegotnohotwater,Walter.

Tenant#2:Mymother’lidweekshehadtowalksixflightstogooutside!

Walterisnowsurroundedandpennedinbythecrowdthathasgatheredtojeerathim.

WalterMack:(tocourtofficer)WhatdoIdo?

CourtOfficer:,’twealljusttakeastepbackandgivethemansome

room?

WalterMack(onhiscellphone):Alan,it’sWalterMack.

Tenant#2:Oh,he’scallingsomebody!

WalterMack:You’’suptoseeacoupleof

reacoupleofguysthatlooklikegangmembers

whosaidtheyweregonna—

Oneoftheguysonthefireescapethrowsaglassbottle,

wdcontinuestojeer.“iceshot.”The

’sonhiscellphone.

CourtOfficer:epolicenow.

Sameday,insideDenny’sjailcell.

AlanShore:Denny,o

getgoing,,

please.

DennyCrane:TherearetwothingsIhopedtoexperienceinmylifetimethatIwassureInever

enthathappened,Ithought

“ByGod,Ishouldexperiencetheother.”

AlanShore:Theotherbeingahooker?

6

DennyCrane:’erwassexwithaone-legged

woman.

AlanShore:Ibegyourpardon?

DennyCrane:Myfather,Godresthissoul,toldmethebestsexheeverhadwaswithone-

’tknow.I’e

Iwasdrivingdownthestreet,withlong,flowinghair…anincredible,

,“Excuseme,aveawooden

leg?”Andshesaid,“Why?Doyouhaveoneatthemoment?”IsmiledandIsaid,“Asamatterof

fact—“Andshesaid,“I’mexpensive.”SoItoldherI’dbuyheratriptoBelize,

iflesachuckleand

Dennylooksathimindignantly.

Sameday,DennyandAlanaresittinginsideajudge’schambers.

Judge:Youthoughtshehadoneleg?

DennyCrane:AtriptoBelizeisafairandsquaredeal,,ifIhadanickelforevery

womanIpromisedtomarryinexchangeforsex—actually,Ido.

Judge:I’msupposedtobelievethis?Yourfathertoldyouyourbestsexwastobehadwith

thiswomanlimpingandyouweresimplyovercome?

AlanShore:You’releavingoutthemostimportantfactor,YourHonor.

Judge:Whichis?

AlanShore:rs,manyyears,theyhave,atonetimeoranothermadeeach

tober,whentheylosttheseventhgametotheYankees,

’salreadybeenpredictedwe’llhaveafloodofAugustbabiesnext

he

wakeofthatteamgivinguswhatourheartshaveyearnedforallourlives,ourparents’and

grandparents’lives,wehavefallenvictimtoadeliriumthatmakesusbelieveanything,anything

ing,butnotlimitedtothenotionthatGodputafetching,one-leggedwomanin

thisman’spathtocommemoratetheendofawretched,horridcurse.

DennyCrane:Youknowme,

wouldIpullovertothesideoftheroad?

Judge(incredulous):.

AlanShore:Thankyou,sir.

DennyCrane:Buyyouadrink,counsel?

AlanShore:I’dloveto,butIhavetotendtosomebusinesswithamuchlessreasonablejudge.

DennyCrane:Thankyou,’syourdaddy?

Stillsameday,insidethehospitalemergencyroom,LoriColsonishelpingMichaelShea

lgroansinpain.

LoriColson:Sorry.

MichaelShea:So,uh,I’mnotunderarrest?

LoriColson:tthebullet,’thaveenoughtochargeyou.

MichaelShea:Thanks.

LoriColson:Listen,Michael—

MichaelShea:Okay,’t—don’’don’tgetthat?

LoriColson:I’msureyoudo,butIdon’tunderstandwhy—

MichaelShea:Look,,Lori?Thismightcomeasashocktoyoubutthere’sno

entry-levelofficetrainingprogramforfelons,okay?Theonlyworkoutthereformeiscleaning

u’regonnalecturemenow—

LoriColson:Iwasn’antedtosaythat—

MichaelShea:What?

LoriColson:Idon’twantyoutodie.I’veknownyouforalongtime,’twant

youtodie.

7

SamedayinsideAlan’soffice,he’sputtingpapersintohisbriefcasewhenTarawalksin.

Shesitsinachair.

TaraWilson:Whatareyoudoingnow?

AlanShore:joinme?Alanisputtingonhiscoat.

TaraWilson:othanks.

AlanShore:Doyouwantsomething?

TaraWilson:othing.

AlanShore:Tara,clearlyyouwantsomething.

TaraWilson:Ijustcametotellyouthatwewonourmotion,entgetsto

keepabulletinhischest,andhe’ctoryisavictory,right?

AlanShore:Youreallythinkhe’sgoingtodie?

TaraWilson:torsaidifitisn’tremoved—

Alanisopeningalittleblackbookandrightingsomethingonapost-itnote.

AlanShore:nyis

palpable.

TaraWilson:heisstuck.

AlanShore:(handingherthepost-itnote)Ornot.

TaraWilson:Andthisis?

AlanShore:Adiscretionaryoption.

Sameday,insideJudgeClarkBrown’schambers.

JudgeClarkBrown:sstosay,I’moutraged.

AlanShore:That’srefreshinglyhumaneofyou.

JudgeClarkBrown:Idon’tfollow.

AlanShore:PerhapsIdon’tfollow.

JudgeClarkBrown:ntinuoushoursinfrontofthe

ybarelylasted20minutes.

AlanShore:Atwhichpoint,hewasattackedwithaglassbottle,sendinghimtotheemergency

roomwithagapingwoundinhishead.

JudgeClarkBrown:Doyouknowwhatmymotherwouldcallyou?d

,yourguy’sinviolationof

hissentence.

AlanShore:YourHonor,issomethingnotregistering?meit

couldbeconsiderablyworse.

JudgeClarkBrown:Ifyou’resoworried,nthimbackoutthere

today,understood?

AlanShore:rnsandwalksout.

JudgeClarkBrown:Good-bye,.

Sameday,LoriistalkingtoPaulinhisoffice.

LoriColson:Idon’ohelpless.

PaulLewiston:WhataboutAlanShore?

LoriColson:Whatabouthim?

PaulLewiston:He’oushouldseekhishelp.

BradChaseentersthedoorway.

BradChase:You’,AlanShoreistakingJudgeBrownbeforea

disciplinarypanel.

PaulLewiston:When?

BradChase:ow.

PaulLewiston:abshiscoatandquicklyleaves.

Sameday,insidethecourtroomofthedisciplinarypanel.

ChairwomanoraLang:Thisishighlyunusual,gtodisciplineajudgefor

imposingasentenceyourclientagreedto.

AlanShore:Isuspectwe’,

YourHonors,we’renotinSingapore.

8

ChairwomanoraLang:Still,givenhisconsent—

AlanShore:Hedidn’tconsenttolandinahospitalbedwithaconcussionand12stitchesacross

,astonishingly,JudgeBrownexpectshimtogobackformore.

AdoorclosesandPaulcomesintothecourtroom.

PaulLewiston:Pardontheinterruption,wistonofCrane,Pooleand

ithmycolleague.(toAlan,inalowvoice)Stopthisnow.

AlanShore:Thisdoesn’tconcernyou,uldleaveimmediately.

PaulLewiston:asinadvertentlyoversteppedhisauthorityinregardtothis

nttoasignedletterofretentionWalterMackis,infact,aclientofourfirm,notMr.

Shorespecifically.

AlanShore:That’ersonallyrepresentedWalterMackforyears.

PaulLewiston:Crane,

doweseektosecond-guesshissentencingofourclients.

AlanShore:AndyethereIam,bothsecondguessingandbearingillwill.

PaulLewiston:Alan,youareoutofline.

AlanShore:Youinterruptmyhearingandaccusemeofbeing—

ChairwomanoraLang:men!exttimeIsuggestyousettleonaposition

djourned.

rownwalksuptoAlan.

JudgeClarkBrown:Inmycourtroom,withyourclient,tomorrow,namby-pamby.

Sameday,insideCP&S,AlanShoreisreturning,andPaulLewistonmeetshiminthe

hallway.

PaulLewiston:It’

gavemenochoice,tallowanassociatetodeclarewaronbehalfofthisfirm.

Certainlynotagainstahighlyinfluentialjurist.

AlanShore:I’paside,Paul,beforeI

pushyoutothegroundandgotothebathroomonyou.

lShea

’ssweating.

MichaelShea:LoriColson?

Receptionist:She’soutoftheoffice.

MichaelShea:.

Taraseeshimandcomesuptohim.

TaraWilson:Michael?Areyouallright?Youlookawful.

MichaelShea:I’mthinkingthatmaybewecangetsomekindofplea?Isittoolate?

TaraWilson:Idon’tknow,butMichaelwe’vegottagetyoutoahospital.

MichaelShea:,’?tstoslumptothefloor.

TaraWilson:Michael.(shetriestocatchhim).Michael,pshimtoachair.

ere.

MichaelShea:Okay.

Tararunsintoheroffice,grabsthepost-itnoteoutofafolder,grabsherjacketandleaves.

Thenextday,insideJudgeClark’scourtroom.

JudgeClarkBrown:Idon’tseeadefendant,.

AlanShore:I’ldingisteemingwiththem.

JudgeClarkBrown:hapsanorderofcontemptwillhelp

movethingsforward.

AlanShore:YourHonor,ifIcouldbeberatedinjustamoment,mightwefirsttakecareofone

briefceremonialmatter?Yourmotherhasbeenwaitingeversopatiently.

JudgeClarkBrown:Excuseme?

AlanShore:(pointingtoawomaninawheelchairinthegalley)Isthislovelywomannotyour

mother?

JudgeClarkBrown:Mother!Whatareyoudoinginmycourtroom?

9

AlanShore:Iwasobviouslythrilledtofindheravailabletoattendthislong-overduepresentation

whichIamhonoredtomakeonbehalfoftheentireBarAssociationSubcommitteeonJudicial

onorableClarkBrown,jurist,proach?

JudgeClarkBrown:Youmaynot.

AlanShore:ngratulations.

JudgeClarkBrown:Itakeitthisisyourhorrificpenmanship.

AlanShore:ydefense,Iwasdrivingtocourtatthetime.

JudgeClarkBrown:AndIsupposeyouthinkpresentingmewithsomecockamamieawardyou

inventedisgoingtohelpyourcase.

AlanShore:Theawardisforyourmother,ycase,asIseeit,youcanholdmein

contempt,youcansendmyclienttoprison,youcandreamupelaborateandhumiliating

sentenceadinfinitumbutunfortunatelynothingthatyoudowillnegatetheego-crushing,utterly

emasculatingeffectyourmotherclearlyhasonyouasImustconfessshehadonmeafteramere

slyyourissues

withEsther,oedipalorotherwisecan’thelpbutinformyourappetiteforshameandhumiliation.

Andit’’’restrongerthanyour

nt,Walter

Mack,with

’eallthepower.

JudgeClarkBrown:Getawayfrommybench!

AlanShore:eignoredadirectorder

foryourclient,hewillcompletetherepairsaslistedonthepleaagreementinoneweek’

hecompliestothelastdetail,Ishallsparehimanyfurtherconsequences.

AlanShore:Thankyousir.

JudgeClarkBrown:Well,you’tter.

rinbluescrubsistalkingtoTara.

:Itwasmysecondcokebust,butsomehowAlangotitkickedtomisdemeanor

’vebeenalotworse,though.

MichaelShea,layingonagurney,iscomingtoandrealizingwhereheis.

TaraWilson:Everything’sgonnabefine,’regonnabe

fine.

MichaelShea:Itoldyounohospitals.

TaraWilson:Actually,we’,,he’safriend

ofmycolleague’s.

MichaelShea:Yeah?

TaraWilson:Michael,he’sverydiscreet.

oksbehindher,andtherearecagesofdogsand

catsliningthewall.

AlanentersCP&angetsto

hisoffice,Dennyissittingthereinachair.

DennyCrane:Tellmeabouttheravingloon.

AlanShore:StatebirdofMinnesota,actually.

DennyCrane:reallythreatentopeeon

him?

AlanShore:Forgiveme,Denny.I’mnotinmyusualgoodhumor.

DennyCrane:mind,youcanleaveandgive

himthevictoryhe’rypresencetorturinghim,hourafter

hour,’record,

oreyougothereIwasbeginningtoloathethisplace.

10

ters.

TaraWilson:n’hingallright?

LoriColson:hehospitalandwastoodepressedtoworksoIwenthomeandtookan

extraordinarilylongbath.

TaraWilson:Well,youmissedsomeexcitement.

LoriColson:Oh?

TaraplacesatinyplasticbagcontainingthebulletonLori’aresatit.

TaraWilson:You’renotinterestedastohowIcameuponthis?

LoriColson:Ihaveaprettygoodidea.

mestothedoorway.

AlanShore:rouble?

LoriColson:dmyclienttoamobdoctorworkinginthebackroomof

uckles.

AlanShore:I’msorrytosaytherealityisfarlesscolorful,butIapplaudyourimagination.

LoriColson:You’reamazinglyinconsiderate,youknowthat?

AlanShore:sitshow?

LoriColson:IhaveknownMichaelSheaforfiveyears,Alan,andasridiculousasitsounds,he’s

’tevenknowhim.

AlanShore:Wecouldallhavelunch,ifyou’dlike

LoriColson:Yousenthimofftocommityetanothercrime.

AlanShore:There’snocrime,inifyouwant.

LoriColson:OfcourseI’ouldn’a

shouldn’ldyoucorruptherlikethat?

AlanShore:Tara’sagrownup,capableofmakingallsortsofgrown-updecisions.

LoriColson:Don’seshe’sgonnafollowyourlead

untilonedaysheslipsup,somehowblowsit,andhercareerisover.

AlanShore:AndyethereIsit,yearsofevildoingundermybelt,andstillahappycamper.

LoriColson:Isupposeyou’hatend?Imean,youconspiretoconceal

evidence?w,sometimesyou’reintheright,

ertimesitseemslikeyoujustcan’you’ves.

Denny’ocks

athisdoor,enters,andpourshimselfascotch.

AlanShore:AmIlost,Denny?

DennyCrane:Dependswhatyou’relookingfor.

AlanShore:LoriColsonthinksI’mlost.

DennyCrane:u?

AlanShore:That’simpolitetalk,hingokay?

DennyCrane:Oooh.I’mtheonethat’slost,Alan.

AlanShore:Howso?

DennyCrane:Empty,

waslikeaquest,youknow?

Ifeellike—Idon’tknow—likemypilotlightwentout.

AlanShore:’’t

knowhowcomfortableweareaschampions.

DennyCrane:Whatdowedonow?

AlanShore:Idon’tknow.

DennyCrane:ughs.

AlanShore:Listen,oudomeafavor?

DennyCrane:ameit.

AlanShore:’’eyoudon’t

mind?

DennyCrane:o,bringherin.

AlanShore:wearingalong,floor-lengthdresswalksin,withanoticeable

limp.

11

Sarah:Hello,ooksatherinamazement.

AlanShore:ewoodtheyusetomakeManny’sbat.

DennyCrane:You’reacorruptinginfluence.

AlanShore:Yes,I’rmstrong’sIGetIdeasstartsplayinginthe

background.

DennyCrane:Sarah,joinusforadrink?

Sarah:I’dloveto.

DennyCrane:Toast,tous,tolove,butmostofall---

AlanShore:TotheBostonRedSox.

Sarah:ssesheronthecheekandleavesSarahandDennyalone.

DennyCrane:Isitreallymadeofash?

Sarah:Ithinkso.

DennyCrane:Giveyouanytroubledancing?

Sarah:otabit.

DennyCrane:Maybewecouldgodancinglater.

Sarah:I’dlovethat.

Credits.

12


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