BostonLegal
LooseLips
Season1,Episode8
WrittenbyJonathanShapiro&
©htsReserved
Airdate:ovember28,2004
[versionupdatedJune17,2006]
ConferenceRoomofCranePoole&Schmidt
AlanShoresitsatthestaffmeetinginfullSantaregalia
PaulLewiston:Thisisastaffmeeting,.
AlanShore:Irealizethat.
PaulLewiston:WhyareyouinaSantasuit?
AlanShore:It’you’renotsuggestingIstilldressasapilgrim.
PaulLewiston:Andwhoisthis?gesturingatalittlewomandressedasanelf
AlanShore:She’mes,especiallyafterSanta’sbeendrinking,heneedsalittlehelper.
PaulLewiston:Haveyoubeendrinkingtoday?
AlanShore:orsareconcernedthesestaffmeetings
couldcausemetolapseintoacoma.
PaulLewiston:,sinceprivilegedinformationisexchangedduringthesestaffmeetings,yourhelper
willhavetoleave.
AlanShore:rollshiseyes,thenaddresseshiselfquietlyWouldyouwaitinmyoffice,dear?
Elf:Sure.
AlanShoreholdsherchairforherasshegetsoffthechairandleaves
BradChase:Actually,there’sthat,uh,’lanshouldtakethat.
PaulLewiston:Perhapsyou’reright.
BradChase:sfiredasadepartmentstoreSanta.
AlanShorelaughs
BradChase:Imean,sinceyouseemtohavesuchaconnectionwiththesubjectmatter...
DennyCrane:I’lldoit.
PaulLewistonstaresatDennyCrane
DennyCrane:I’vealwayswantedaSantacase.
BradChase:Oh,thisismuchmorerightforAlan.
DennyCrane:Isaid,I’she?
BradChase:Uh,inreception.
DennyCranearises,andwalksintothe:
ReceptionAreaofCranePoole&Schmidt
DennyCrane:GilFurnald?
Amanandwomancontinuetheirconversationwithoutlookingup.
GilFurnald:amanwearingadress,readinganewspaperThat’sme.
DennyCrane:o,itisn’t.
GilFurnald:Yes,itis.
DennyCrane:o,itisn’t.
GilFurnald:sighingHo,ho,ho!Dealwithit.
HallwayofCranePoole&Schmidt
TaraWilson:Alan.
AlanShore:Tara.
TaraWilson:What’swiththewoman?
AlanShore:Whatwoman?
TaraWilson:Whatwoman?!Theoneyoubroughttothestaffmeeting.
AlanShore:She’smyelf,htIwasquiteclearonthat.
TaraWilson:hehere?
AlanShore:Well,itseemsI’veputonafewpoundssincelastyear,
asateam,eaproblem?
1
TaraWilson:otatall.
AlanShore:But?
TaraWilson:otthatI’vebeendoingbackgroundchecks,butIhaveafriendwhoevidentlyknowsanold
friendofyours,and...
AlanShore:And?
TaraWilson:Youoncecohabitedwithalittleperson.
AlanShore:withherforthree.
TaraWilson:Doyouhaveathingforlittlewomen?
AlanShore:’veneverfallenforsomeoneshorterthanyou?
TaraWilson:Well,IbelieveI’minvolvedwithonenow.
AlanShore:shiftinghisnewspaperandposturetocompareheighttohersEitheryou’remistaken,orI’m
mblesaway.
[credits]
berg’sOffice
LoriColson:It’sjustverydifficulttoreconcilebeingdrawntoapersonIconsider,well,repugnant.
berg:Oh,youthinkyou’rethefirstgoodgirltofallforabadboy?
LoriColson:Ismyproblemannoyingyou?
berg:o,I’msorry.I—Ijustmeanttoconveyit’sverycommonforwomentobeattractedtomen
theydon’uldbeatplayhere?Therearequalitiesinyourselfyoudon’tlikeorqualitiesabout
AlanShoreyouwishyouhad.
LoriColson:Thatisn’yselfjustfine.
berglaughs,shakinghishead.
LoriColson:chucklesIsawthat.
berg:Uh,sweshouldreschedule?
LoriColson:ythingokay?
berg:sLoriColsonpicksupherpurseandjacketCouldIspeaktoyouasa
lawyer?
LoriColson:Uh,acirculargesturewithherhandButyou’regonnahavetofacethelittle
clocktowardsme.
berg:Thisisallprivileged,right?Lawyer-client?
LoriColson:Ofcourse.
berg:Look,I—Ihaveapatientwho’,um,he
habituallyspeaksoffantasies,’retypicallyidleruminations,Isuppose—makehim
he’irstIthought,harmlesschatteragain.
,Ican’tbesurethatitisn’nmayverywell
beplanningtokillhisex-wife,andI’mjustnotsurewhattodo.
DennyCrane’sOffice
GilFurnald:sighIjustlikewearingwomen’’..well...itjust
feelsrightsometimes.
DennyCrane:So,basically,you’reasicko?
GilFurnald:I’mnotsick.
DennyCrane:Lightenup,,what?Yougotcaughtinaskirtandthatwasit?
GilFurnald:Myemployerfoundout,and,yes,kedmealotofquestions,likewhetherI’m
gay.
DennyCrane:Areyou?Ah,notthatthere’sanythingwrongwithit.
GilFurnald:tdoesnotmakemeanunfitSanta.
DennyCrane:Criminalrecord?
GilFurnald:,no,no,no,re’eenagoodSantaforeight
rekidsandfamilieswhohavespecificallycome
ought,dnotlosemyjobbecauseofhowIliketodress.
berg’sOffice
bergisputtingavideotapeinaTVwithaVHSplayer.
2
LoriColson:Doesheknowyoutapedhim?
berg:o.I’ntheVHSplayer
BrianStevens(TV):It’’ldprobablytellme
,thethingis,Idon’twanttoshootheror,uh,stobe
bystrangulation.
berg(TV):Doyouhaveanyguessastowhy?
BrianStevens(TV):Well,forone,,withmyhands,I
,ertoknowthatshe’
wanttoseehereyesasIdoit.
berg
turnsoffthetapewithhisremote.
LoriColson:Andhowdoyouknowthatthisisn’tjusttalk?
berg:Ikeeptellingyou,Idon’tknow.I—Imean,he’softenfantasized.L-lastyearhespokeof
demeanorhere—asIsaid,there’sacertainresolvethatreallyconcernsme.
LoriColson:Haveyoushownthistoanyothertherapistsor...
berg:o,no,no.I’mtheonlyonewhocanmakethatcall.
LoriColson:Andyourcallisit’spossiblehe’sgoingtodoit?